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Friends don't like my boyfriend staying over. watch

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    I live in a flat with 4 other people and my boyfriend probably stays over on the weekend. We've been together for 2 years and are very happy together however recently I've heard that 1 of my flat mates is uncomfortable with him staying over that much. I don't understand why as were always in my room and only go downstairs to make food, we don't even eat there we eat in my room so I feel like we're out of the way as much as possible. Is my flat mate being unreasonable? I have to live with her for another year so I don't know how to handle this situation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I live in a flat with 4 other people and my boyfriend probably stays over on the weekend. We've been together for 2 years and are very happy together however recently I've heard that 1 of my flat mates is uncomfortable with him staying over that much. I don't understand why as were always in my room and only go downstairs to make food, we don't even eat there we eat in my room so I feel like we're out of the way as much as possible. Is my flat mate being unreasonable? I have to live with her for another year so I don't know how to handle this situation.
    I know it'll probably be quite uncomfortable but you should probably talk to them about it. It might be precisely for that reason- maybe they think you're not sociable enough? So because they don't know him enough it's uncomfortable when he's around?
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    Talk to her about it, we don't know what her objection are. Ask her if it's a problem and then offer her a compromise if she's being reasonable. You'll be living with her for a year so the last thing you want is to have an awkward relationship with her.

    Remember it's her apartment too, and if there's a genuine issue you have to be respectful. Maybe your sex is particularly loud? That has been an issue with my friend's girlfriend. Thin walls and everything.
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    Maybe you're doing something that you haven't noticed yourself. Talk to her about it, ask if there's anthing you can do to make her feel more comfortable.
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    Does he clean up after himself in the bathroom? If not, then it's a "no" from me too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I live in a flat with 4 other people and my boyfriend probably stays over on the weekend. We've been together for 2 years and are very happy together however recently I've heard that 1 of my flat mates is uncomfortable with him staying over that much. I don't understand why as were always in my room and only go downstairs to make food, we don't even eat there we eat in my room so I feel like we're out of the way as much as possible. Is my flat mate being unreasonable? I have to live with her for another year so I don't know how to handle this situation.
    As others have said, talk to her about it. It sounds as if you're being reasonable enough, but she may have concerns you don't consider. Do you all share a bathroom for example? Encountering someone on your way back from a shower or whatever, especially if it's a (relatively) unknown guy can make some people uncomfortable. Equally, is your boyfriend ever there alone, even if he's hanging out in your room? That can also make people uncomfortable.

    I can kind of understand where your flatmate is coming from, as I had a housemate who effectively moved her boyfriend into our shared house (I'm not saying that your bf has gone quite that far!) and honestly it did make me uncomfortable. He was a nice enough guy, but I never felt like I could wander around in my dressing gown or PJs in the morning, and he also wasn't the nicest to have to share a bathroom with (very hairy!). He also slept on the sofa cushions at night in the living room, and since we had a fridge in that room (we had a tiny kitchen) sometimes you had to step over him in the mornings to get your milk for your cereal! He also stored his clothes in the communal dresser. It can be hard to articulate, but having some guy you don't really know hanging around your domestic space can be quite annoying and uncomfortable, as it's somewhere you should be able to unwind and not have to be on best behaviour because there is, effectively, a stranger in the house. My experience sounds like it was a lot more extreme than what you & your bf are doing, but sometimes you don't realise the effect of having an extra person around the house & the impact on others.
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    It probably is mildly annoying having a non resident around in a restricted space. But for me it falls in the live and let live camp. Unless of course your frenetic and loud rumpypumpy is disturbing the peace and driving her insane with jealousy..
 
 
 
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