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''I don't know at the moment'' watch

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    Hi all,

    In need of some advice.

    Met a guy 5 months ago (we originally met a year ago, but only started talking properly this year). Been on a few dates which have been lovely, and we both like each other. Cut a long story short, I asked him during a 'heated' moment ''Where is this going?'' to which he responded with ''I don't really know''! Now I'm not pushing for a relationship because I don't nag / hassle men, not that kinda girl. But I merely asked to work out what was happening, as I am very confused! Of course, this kinda killed the mood to first time sex between us, which I didn't mind as I wasn't ready for it, but I feel embarrassed and really crap about myself. I did ask however is this going to be a one-off casual encounter to which he said no. I do know however that I don't want to have sex outside of a relationship; I have had numerous casual r'ships with men who don't want me but see me as a play toy. I want to be loved and adored, and enjoy sex with someone who cares and likes me for me.

    ARGH - I just feel so so silly, and worried that I have potentially destroyed something that was blossoming . .at a very very slow rate!

    Was I in the wrong to ask such question? Guys - would this put you off a girl? Just after some opinions on the matter.

    PS: He's also a 'deep thinker' . .doesn't communicate which is another thing I am struggling to 'crack' through to him!
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    I doubt that it's ruined things. I wouldn't say that you're in the wrong, and it sucks that he didn't give you an answer as that would have been nice to know. But I'm sure you can both move of from it, if he even needs to do that. I was going to suggest continuing to spend time with him / go on dates etc but I feel like there's no winning here if you don't want to risk coming across as clingy, or bringing up the topic again or asking him to be your boyfriend.
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I doubt that it's ruined things. I wouldn't say that you're in the wrong, and it sucks that he didn't give you an answer as that would have been nice to know. But I'm sure you can both move of from it, if he even needs to do that. I was going to suggest continuing to spend time with him / go on dates etc but I feel like there's no winning here if you don't want to risk coming across as clingy, or bringing up the topic again or asking him to be your boyfriend.
    I don't think he didn't let it bother him for the remainder of the night (continuing to do naughty things), although I said I wanted sex, he said ''no doesn't feel right'', which is fair enough as I killed the moment with my Q. Even in the morning, he still gave me hugs and kisses, and as he was about to leave he said ''See you soon?'' to which I agreed with yes! Definitely not going to mention it again, will just see what happens. Think I'm just going to remain quiet, and not chase. After all, it was my idea for him to come round.

    Will wait for him to make the next move / suggestion!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think he didn't let it bother him for the remainder of the night (continuing to do naughty things), although I said I wanted sex, he said ''no doesn't feel right'', which is fair enough as I killed the moment with my Q. Even in the morning, he still gave me hugs and kisses, and as he was about to leave he said ''See you soon?'' to which I agreed with yes! Definitely not going to mention it again, will just see what happens. Think I'm just going to remain quiet, and not chase. After all, it was my idea for him to come round.

    Will wait for him to make the next move / suggestion!
    He is a mystery, but it sounds like you two are still getting on pretty well. Just see how it goes, if he really takes forever then have a think about it again.
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    He is a mystery, but it sounds like you two are still getting on pretty well. Just see how it goes, if he really takes forever then have a think about it again.
    Mystery indeed! But will watch and see . . .
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    Anymore thoughts?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi all,

    In need of some advice.

    Met a guy 5 months ago (we originally met a year ago, but only started talking properly this year). Been on a few dates which have been lovely, and we both like each other. Cut a long story short, I asked him during a 'heated' moment ''Where is this going?'' to which he responded with ''I don't really know''! Now I'm not pushing for a relationship because I don't nag / hassle men, not that kinda girl. But I merely asked to work out what was happening, as I am very confused! Of course, this kinda killed the mood to first time sex between us, which I didn't mind as I wasn't ready for it, but I feel embarrassed and really crap about myself. I did ask however is this going to be a one-off casual encounter to which he said no. I do know however that I don't want to have sex outside of a relationship; I have had numerous casual r'ships with men who don't want me but see me as a play toy. I want to be loved and adored, and enjoy sex with someone who cares and likes me for me.

    ARGH - I just feel so so silly, and worried that I have potentially destroyed something that was blossoming . .at a very very slow rate!

    Was I in the wrong to ask such question? Guys - would this put you off a girl? Just after some opinions on the matter.

    PS: He's also a 'deep thinker' . .doesn't communicate which is another thing I am struggling to 'crack' through to him!
    I dont think you have ruined it! just wait it out, if its meant to be it will happen x
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    (Original post by AnnaW7)
    I dont think you have ruined it! just wait it out, if its meant to be it will happen x
    Hoping he sees past the question and doesn't judge me on it!
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    B u m p . .
 
 
 
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