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    Hi there I'm new to all this but really wanted somewhere to look for some support.My son has just taken his AS levels and is now starting to study for his A level examinations next year. He was expected to get c grades in all his subjects at AS level but finished with Geography C, Biology D, General Studies D and Chemistry E. He seemed to be studying hard throughout the year although I stood back a little and was only there to help if he asked. This year however we have agreed together that I will help him a lot more; sit and talk through what he's learnt that day and read through homework etc afterwards.I did try to make life as easy as possible for him throughout his exams, as far as I was concerned he had enough to stress about....My husband however takes a completley different approach. He worked away a lot last year and is now home for a month. He has been laying down the law, saying that "obviously he didn't work hard enough last year" and " he isn't studying hard enough!" etc..... he doesn't sit and listen but just shouts and dictates. I don't know what to do or if he's right and I'm approaching this all wrong.....
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    It sounds as though it might be useful to discuss with school who are likely to be much better informed and take a more emotionally intelligent approach than a parent potentially unconsciously trying to deflect his own guilt for not being around (however worthy the reasons for not being may have been). If your son thinks he *did* work (even if in practice he needed to do more and perhaps even more likely, work smarter) and he's getting this ill-informed attitude there's a risk he'll chuck it all in.

    How did the individual papers pan out? Was there a lot of variation in marks? (My son didn't perform as well as predicted (although not entirely to my surprise), nothing to change his plans fortunately but I think it is a sign he needs to keep his eye on the ball, he's not good at recognising warning signs about what he drops marks on in work during the year, a bit too laid back rather than not working per se... ....for several subjects there was a lot of variation between different papers)

    Does your son know what he wants to do after A levels?

    It's not easy is it? And it really doesn't help when both parents are not singing from the same hymn sheet...I am blessed not to have that problem (although I do occasionally have to remind my husband that his son is not him...he's definitely not me either, worked that one out from day one!) I do see it in my extended family and it is *so* detrimental.
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    Hi, l'm not sure if I meant to post on these threads (i'm a son rather than a parent), but I thought maybe a view from my perspective might help? (I've also just finished AS)

    I would say that reading through homework and that is great, and really just limiting any distractions when your son is studying. Maybe take away his phone, ect. whilst doing homework or revising.

    Also if he knows what he wants to do after A-levels then focus more time on relevant subjects. Really the more time spend studying the better the grades will be.

    The shouting and dictating sounds alot like my dad, and it can have an adverse effect on trying to work. Not that you shouldn't be firm; I think it's a hard balance to get, but encourage him and push him to work rather than put him down.

    Hope I could help!

    Edit:
    Also make use of the holidays, they're invaluable. Start preparing for exams as early as possible, even now, and maybe read ahead in the text books so classes will be easier.
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    (Original post by KingofDucks)
    Hi, l'm not sure if I meant to post on these threads (i'm a son rather than a parent), but I thought maybe a view from my perspective might help? (I've also just finished AS)

    I would say that reading through homework and that is great, and really just limiting any distractions when your son is studying. Maybe take away his phone, ect. whilst doing homework or revising.

    Also if he knows what he wants to do after A-levels then focus more time on relevant subjects. Really the more time spend studying the better the grades will be.

    The shouting and dictating sounds alot like my dad, and it can have an adverse effect on trying to work. Not that you shouldn't be firm; I think it's a hard balance to get, but encourage him and push him to work rather than put him down.

    Hope I could help!

    Edit:
    Also make use of the holidays, they're invaluable. Start preparing for exams as early as possible, even now, and maybe read ahead in the text books so classes will be easier.



    Thanks so much for your advice. It's good to hear from a students point of view. He wants to continue on to do a degree in Environmental Science and with his AS grades he was only 20 points off his top 2 choices of uni.
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    (Original post by dirtmother)
    It sounds as though it might be useful to discuss with school who are likely to be much better informed and take a more emotionally intelligent approach than a parent potentially unconsciously trying to deflect his own guilt for not being around (however worthy the reasons for not being may have been). If your son thinks he *did* work (even if in practice he needed to do more and perhaps even more likely, work smarter) and he's getting this ill-informed attitude there's a risk he'll chuck it all in.

    How did the individual papers pan out? Was there a lot of variation in marks? (My son didn't perform as well as predicted (although not entirely to my surprise), nothing to change his plans fortunately but I think it is a sign he needs to keep his eye on the ball, he's not good at recognising warning signs about what he drops marks on in work during the year, a bit too laid back rather than not working per se... ....for several subjects there was a lot of variation between different papers)

    Does your son know what he wants to do after A levels?

    It's not easy is it? And it really doesn't help when both parents are not singing from the same hymn sheet...I am blessed not to have that problem (although I do occasionally have to remind my husband that his son is not him...he's definitely not me either, worked that one out from day one!) I do see it in my extended family and it is *so* detrimental.

    Thanks for your reply. My husband didn't do well at all at school simply because he didn't try so I do think you're right about him not seeing the bigger picture. Although my son didn't do as well as he hoped in his AS levels he's only 20 points away from doing environmental science at the uni of his choice. I've spoken with his teachers, without my husband being there and they seem happy with progress and are aware of the areas that need more work into. Luckily my son and I have a great relationship and he knows I'm there to support him! I'll be telling m husband to back off from now on 😉
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    perhaps you could encourage your son to look at mark schemes to get an idea of what examiners look for. His teachers should be giving him advice on this but them may not be doing so or he may not be taking in it. You can usually find these on the examination board website.

    He may also find resources on the web that would help. Schools are often poor at catering for visual learners but he might find you tube lectures and videos that would help. If you could afford a tutor they might give him some pointers on exam technique.
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    [QUOTE=spercival;59292673]My husband didn't do well at all at school simply because he didn't try

    I was just thinking about this.... I wonder if that is even true? I suspect sometimes it is a more comfortable notion than "I tried hard and I wasn't good enough" (if you think in those sort of terms) You feel as though you have chosen the outcome.
 
 
 

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