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Feeling down
I'm in the second term of uni and i've been feeling really down.
basically i hate myself, i have never had a girlfriend and I feel so rejected ... i would just so like to have someone to care for and be with.
i think it is this desire for companianship that has led to me becoming very dependant on a friend of mine, i can't seem to cope without her ... but she has been getting close to this complete loser who she met through me and i feel so threatened by it.
i know that this is rediculous and that i am a complete nobhead, so if that's what you think then tell me ... but i just feel so alone and stupid.
basically i hate myself, i have never had a girlfriend and I feel so rejected ... i would just so like to have someone to care for and be with.
i think it is this desire for companianship that has led to me becoming very dependant on a friend of mine, i can't seem to cope without her ... but she has been getting close to this complete loser who she met through me and i feel so threatened by it.
i know that this is rediculous and that i am a complete nobhead, so if that's what you think then tell me ... but i just feel so alone and stupid.
Scroll to see replies
anyone
Sometimes, we all seek some good friendship and the lack of it causes us to look for partners instead. Just make some friends. To give you an idea, a person knows 300 people, out of that 300, another will know another 300 and so on, just making friends with one person invites u to so many opportunities of meeting their friends, the chances of finding a partner this way increases dramatically.
QED.
QED.
Tell your female friend how you feel about the guy she likes, tell her how you feel about her and if shes as close to you as you say she is - tell her how lonely youre feeling.
I think if i had a close friend who liked me but i wasnt into, the least id do is try to hook them up with someone else - atleast that way you dont jeopardise the original friendship.
Buddy i have been lonely many times before, but every time i feel im worthless someone great just comes into my life at the right time and it seems to all be good
Chin up
I think if i had a close friend who liked me but i wasnt into, the least id do is try to hook them up with someone else - atleast that way you dont jeopardise the original friendship.
Buddy i have been lonely many times before, but every time i feel im worthless someone great just comes into my life at the right time and it seems to all be good
Chin up
i agree with Burry - just tell your friend what you think,
and well - even though uni will suck at times - you need to just go on - have fun - go for parties - go to uni nites - enjoy your course - do outreageous things - *stealing traffic cones seems to come to mind now [although DONT do it - 2 students over here got arrested and had to leave uni coz they had a police record! how mean* - uni is the place to do this crazy stuff!
live life to the max - and along the way - you never know - you may find that someone
and well - even though uni will suck at times - you need to just go on - have fun - go for parties - go to uni nites - enjoy your course - do outreageous things - *stealing traffic cones seems to come to mind now [although DONT do it - 2 students over here got arrested and had to leave uni coz they had a police record! how mean* - uni is the place to do this crazy stuff!
live life to the max - and along the way - you never know - you may find that someone
i've already told her all i've told you here.
i just feel so down, i don't respect myself or even like myself.
i just feel so down, i don't respect myself or even like myself.
still feeling just as down ... i have no idea how to deal with this.
last night it all just got too much, i ended up sitting on my own in the woods on campus crying my eyes out and drinking a bottle of malibu.
i just don't know how to make myself happy.
last night it all just got too much, i ended up sitting on my own in the woods on campus crying my eyes out and drinking a bottle of malibu.
i just don't know how to make myself happy.
Malibu? MALIBU?...beside the point I know.
I haven't been feeling that great at university, it all seems to have gone tits up for me too, and now I'm switching uni's I feel better, but my course seems even more pointless. So I am concentrating more on doing the things I love, getting healthy and playing a good round of squash now and again. Perhaps you can focus more on any hobbies of yours?
As for needing a girlfriend, take it from me pal, relationships for the sake of relationships are just a bother. Don't rush into finding a girl, as it seems like you are doing by obsessing over your friend. Let her be, and just be friends. instead try to meet people who you connect with more, you never know that *perfect* girl might be just around the corner!
I haven't been feeling that great at university, it all seems to have gone tits up for me too, and now I'm switching uni's I feel better, but my course seems even more pointless. So I am concentrating more on doing the things I love, getting healthy and playing a good round of squash now and again. Perhaps you can focus more on any hobbies of yours?
As for needing a girlfriend, take it from me pal, relationships for the sake of relationships are just a bother. Don't rush into finding a girl, as it seems like you are doing by obsessing over your friend. Let her be, and just be friends. instead try to meet people who you connect with more, you never know that *perfect* girl might be just around the corner!
Okay you have to like yourself before anyone else will. Don't give out an air of desperation. You can't go looking for a girlfriend. It will just happen, honestly. Drinking alone in the woods will make you really miserable - guaranteed. What areas of your life are you happy with? Is the course going well? Accomodation ok?
jsut make some good mates and c what happens if u go looking 4 someone to be with then u wont find them i always fine i find someone wen i really dont want to or well wen im not looking
jsut relax and take each day as it comes
wen ur really ready to b with someone u will
just enjoy ur time at uni
xxxx
jsut relax and take each day as it comes
wen ur really ready to b with someone u will
just enjoy ur time at uni
xxxx
i finally admitted to my friend that i love her.
i told her how i feel and knowing what the answer would be (a clear rejection).
she dealt with it very well and said she was glad i had said caus now we know what the problem is we're closer to dealing with it.
i lost it again however the other night when i swore at the person i suspected of having intentions towards her, threw a bottle of beer at the wall which went all over the bed and just broke down in tears again.
after this i had a long conversation with the bloke in question and i am convinced that nothing will happen between them.
my friend even said that she would cut contact with everyone she met through me to see if it made me feel happier... which i can't let her do.
i just feel like such a dick ... i've put her in such a difficult position and just fear i've ****ed up our friendship.
i told her how i feel and knowing what the answer would be (a clear rejection).
she dealt with it very well and said she was glad i had said caus now we know what the problem is we're closer to dealing with it.
i lost it again however the other night when i swore at the person i suspected of having intentions towards her, threw a bottle of beer at the wall which went all over the bed and just broke down in tears again.
after this i had a long conversation with the bloke in question and i am convinced that nothing will happen between them.
my friend even said that she would cut contact with everyone she met through me to see if it made me feel happier... which i can't let her do.
i just feel like such a dick ... i've put her in such a difficult position and just fear i've ****ed up our friendship.
anyone?
Decota
Sometimes, we all seek some good friendship and the lack of it causes us to look for partners instead. Just make some friends. QED.
very interesting point. didnt think of it before but now that i did i think its very true
as for the OP i cant really give more advice than what has already been said. you really need to love yourself before anyone else
Decota
Sometimes, we all seek some good friendship and the lack of it causes us to look for partners instead. Just make some friends. To give you an idea, a person knows 300 people, out of that 300, another will know another 300 and so on, just making friends with one person invites u to so many opportunities of meeting their friends, the chances of finding a partner this way increases dramatically.
QED.
QED.
lol @ QED. Struggling to see what this post proves...
update (even though i know nobody is interested, but this at least a log of my feelings for myself if nothing else)
i feel i did three positive things today.
1) contacted the university counselling service.
2) phoned my mum and told her the situation in full.
3) decided to stop my drinking until i feel happy.
still feeling very down but i reckon i'm on the way there.
i feel i did three positive things today.
1) contacted the university counselling service.
2) phoned my mum and told her the situation in full.
3) decided to stop my drinking until i feel happy.
still feeling very down but i reckon i'm on the way there.
gl, i myself have decided that red wine and comfort food is the answer to all my problems. mmm and tasty too.
this way when i actually have to face the stuff that im currently avoiding i will be nicely sloshed and it will be much more fun.
this way when i actually have to face the stuff that im currently avoiding i will be nicely sloshed and it will be much more fun.
wowl!
Ok firstly well done for the three steps i think they are all good ones. I'll tell you a little bit about myself. First year at uni and hated it too. Not sure what to do, joinned societies just so could make friends really but didnt work. By the way maybe join something like facebook. Anyways Ive been depresesd and still think i am. Ive never had a boy friend. Ive never told anyone my feelings for them fully and i donts ee myself as pretty or to have any worth.
Okey I saw a councillor, I dont drink anyways but its unattractive in other people if they are depressed...its sooo offputting dont touch the stuff until things change. Im not close with family but if you can tell your mum thats great. I tell a friend instead. Now the girl. she does sound good. And to be honnest no one will ever want to be with you yntil you reach some level of understanding for yourself. Im in a wierd moment. It appears that someone is showing intrest in me. But for the first time in my life im seeing little joys to being single (altough thats all ive ever known). But i think that steps necessary in order to be with someone if you dont like yourself. Im not pretty and theres nothing that would make me feel so. My respect is low and i always make an idiot of myself. But ive come to terms with who I am and have tried to build a life for me, myself. Thats what you need to do and you'l know when your there...it a strange feeling-guess what those who arent depressed feel daily..you'l get a tinge of that.
But the girl, talk to her and ask her if shed like to do friends things together, if its to hard for you dot bother. You havent ****ed up anything until she starts hidinga nd completely ignoring you. She cares for you and i dont think you'd survive in a relationship, Im having trouble with this guy..my heads all over the place. So stop wanting that and dont worry about the age factor soo much. Just tell yousrelf this is your life and thats it. Now get on with it, and remember you need friends first. The rest wil come later.
Ok firstly well done for the three steps i think they are all good ones. I'll tell you a little bit about myself. First year at uni and hated it too. Not sure what to do, joinned societies just so could make friends really but didnt work. By the way maybe join something like facebook. Anyways Ive been depresesd and still think i am. Ive never had a boy friend. Ive never told anyone my feelings for them fully and i donts ee myself as pretty or to have any worth.
Okey I saw a councillor, I dont drink anyways but its unattractive in other people if they are depressed...its sooo offputting dont touch the stuff until things change. Im not close with family but if you can tell your mum thats great. I tell a friend instead. Now the girl. she does sound good. And to be honnest no one will ever want to be with you yntil you reach some level of understanding for yourself. Im in a wierd moment. It appears that someone is showing intrest in me. But for the first time in my life im seeing little joys to being single (altough thats all ive ever known). But i think that steps necessary in order to be with someone if you dont like yourself. Im not pretty and theres nothing that would make me feel so. My respect is low and i always make an idiot of myself. But ive come to terms with who I am and have tried to build a life for me, myself. Thats what you need to do and you'l know when your there...it a strange feeling-guess what those who arent depressed feel daily..you'l get a tinge of that.
But the girl, talk to her and ask her if shed like to do friends things together, if its to hard for you dot bother. You havent ****ed up anything until she starts hidinga nd completely ignoring you. She cares for you and i dont think you'd survive in a relationship, Im having trouble with this guy..my heads all over the place. So stop wanting that and dont worry about the age factor soo much. Just tell yousrelf this is your life and thats it. Now get on with it, and remember you need friends first. The rest wil come later.
Yes, If your unhappy/down stay off the drink. Whatever. Its not a good thing to start on. I had a rough first semester and drank rather heavily, and it did me no good at all.
I'll third that. I drank so much in the first few weeks I abused my eating patterns. I got sinusitus, which in turn lead to rhinitus (my vision is slightly delayed, or just not normal, because of the infection pressing on my eyes). I've had it since september and it's not a good thing.
It might sound like a cliché now, but until you seriously get on with who you are not much will change. You've made a good start by doing three positive things, don't stop there. If you're having problems with the mindset, try blocking out negative thoughts. Someone mentioned that on here a while ago, and although it requires persistence and some degree of concious effort, it will have an impact.
It might sound like a cliché now, but until you seriously get on with who you are not much will change. You've made a good start by doing three positive things, don't stop there. If you're having problems with the mindset, try blocking out negative thoughts. Someone mentioned that on here a while ago, and although it requires persistence and some degree of concious effort, it will have an impact.
Anonymous
wowl!
Ok firstly well done for the three steps i think they are all good ones. I'll tell you a little bit about myself. First year at uni and hated it too. Not sure what to do, joinned societies just so could make friends really but didnt work. By the way maybe join something like facebook. Anyways Ive been depresesd and still think i am. Ive never had a boy friend. Ive never told anyone my feelings for them fully and i donts ee myself as pretty or to have any worth.
Okey I saw a councillor, I dont drink anyways but its unattractive in other people if they are depressed...its sooo offputting dont touch the stuff until things change. Im not close with family but if you can tell your mum thats great. I tell a friend instead. Now the girl. she does sound good. And to be honnest no one will ever want to be with you yntil you reach some level of understanding for yourself. Im in a wierd moment. It appears that someone is showing intrest in me. But for the first time in my life im seeing little joys to being single (altough thats all ive ever known). But i think that steps necessary in order to be with someone if you dont like yourself. Im not pretty and theres nothing that would make me feel so. My respect is low and i always make an idiot of myself. But ive come to terms with who I am and have tried to build a life for me, myself. Thats what you need to do and you'l know when your there...it a strange feeling-guess what those who arent depressed feel daily..you'l get a tinge of that.
But the girl, talk to her and ask her if shed like to do friends things together, if its to hard for you dot bother. You havent ****ed up anything until she starts hidinga nd completely ignoring you. She cares for you and i dont think you'd survive in a relationship, Im having trouble with this guy..my heads all over the place. So stop wanting that and dont worry about the age factor soo much. Just tell yousrelf this is your life and thats it. Now get on with it, and remember you need friends first. The rest wil come later.
Ok firstly well done for the three steps i think they are all good ones. I'll tell you a little bit about myself. First year at uni and hated it too. Not sure what to do, joinned societies just so could make friends really but didnt work. By the way maybe join something like facebook. Anyways Ive been depresesd and still think i am. Ive never had a boy friend. Ive never told anyone my feelings for them fully and i donts ee myself as pretty or to have any worth.
Okey I saw a councillor, I dont drink anyways but its unattractive in other people if they are depressed...its sooo offputting dont touch the stuff until things change. Im not close with family but if you can tell your mum thats great. I tell a friend instead. Now the girl. she does sound good. And to be honnest no one will ever want to be with you yntil you reach some level of understanding for yourself. Im in a wierd moment. It appears that someone is showing intrest in me. But for the first time in my life im seeing little joys to being single (altough thats all ive ever known). But i think that steps necessary in order to be with someone if you dont like yourself. Im not pretty and theres nothing that would make me feel so. My respect is low and i always make an idiot of myself. But ive come to terms with who I am and have tried to build a life for me, myself. Thats what you need to do and you'l know when your there...it a strange feeling-guess what those who arent depressed feel daily..you'l get a tinge of that.
But the girl, talk to her and ask her if shed like to do friends things together, if its to hard for you dot bother. You havent ****ed up anything until she starts hidinga nd completely ignoring you. She cares for you and i dont think you'd survive in a relationship, Im having trouble with this guy..my heads all over the place. So stop wanting that and dont worry about the age factor soo much. Just tell yousrelf this is your life and thats it. Now get on with it, and remember you need friends first. The rest wil come later.
Thank you so much for that advice. At the moment this situation sort of applies to me too and I'm feeling so sorry for myself. It's very unattractive.
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