Would this make you paranoid?

15

Ok, first off I believe I am not the kind of person who gets paranoid much, often to my disadvantage as I didn't realise when my last boyfriend was cheating on me...perhaps that is why this has bothered me so much.

But tonight I bailed out of going clubbing for a mates birthday cause I didn't feel well, then a few hours ago I got this message from the guy I have been seeing for a few weeks.

"So you still in (name of seedy bar)? Can i still see you? I'd really like to" (Quoted from text)

I text him back saying why would I be in there, heard nothing for a few hours till I got another text from him saying it was for his flatmate (male)

Now am I being weird or does 'I'd really like to' not sound like the kind of thing one bloke would write to his flatmate? He hasn't come back to mine now and isn't answering his phone, should I pass it off as it either was for his mate, or he forgot I wasn't out and was embarassed of this, or he pulled and text the wrong number?

Any opinions welcome!

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

my ex went out one night without me - i knew she was with other guys... greatly upset me, she turned her phone off and claimed she had a flat battery... turns out she went home with some random guy.

Reply 2

Bubblebee

OP

15

How did you know though? Did she tell you thats what she was doing or did you just assume?

Reply 3

Ink

12

I think it sounds suspicious...
That is definitely not the type of text I'd expect flatmates to be sending each other. It sounds like he is trying to cover something up with a bad lie, and the fact that he won't pick up now adds more 'something's not right' feelings for me.

Then again, I'm a pretty paranoid person, so maybe you shouldn't trust my opinion.

Reply 4

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

Bubblebee

Ok, first off I believe I am not the kind of person who gets paranoid much, often to my disadvantage as I didn't realise when my last boyfriend was cheating on me...perhaps that is why this has bothered me so much.

But tonight I bailed out of going clubbing for a mates birthday cause I didn't feel well, then a few hours ago I got this message from the guy I have been seeing for a few weeks.

"So you still in (name of seedy bar)? Can i still see you? I'd really like to" (Quoted from text)

I text him back saying why would I be in there, heard nothing for a few hours till I got another text from him saying it was for his flatmate (male)

Now am I being weird or does 'I'd really like to' not sound like the kind of thing one bloke would write to his flatmate? He hasn't come back to mine now and isn't answering his phone, should I pass it off as it either was for his mate, or he forgot I wasn't out and was embarassed of this, or he pulled and text the wrong number?

Any opinions welcome!

I'm sorry babe but he's blatantly lying to you.

Reply 5

theredsox

15

Yeh, that not replying for a few hours sounds a bit like he was thinking up a story/not really bothered and then got round to texting you that.
But still. You never know. Could be entirely innocent. It's weird he's not really talking to you now, though.

Reply 6

MagicNMedicine

20

that sounds like horse****, males would never text their male flatmates in that way, and the fact he is becoming inaccessible now suggests he's worried that he's been caught

my guess is he's been chatting to another girl in that club, or its another girl who he knows anyway and knew was going there, and was wanting to meet up....the line "I'd really like to" is suggestive, its what you text someone when you want to meet up with them and subtly imply to them that you are interested in them

I'd ask a few hard questions here and see how he reacts, if you are good at reading people the answer will probably come out

Reply 7

King Hippo

9

He's lying, I'm afraid. If I texted one of my mates "can I see you? I'd really like to" he'd call me a bender and they'd take the piss out of me for months and months to come. Guys don't say that to other guys, it's just a fact.

The only possible way he could genuinely be texting his male friend is if they were both secretly gay. Otherwise he's seeing someone else. Either way you should really consider ending this.

Reply 8

Bubblebee

OP

15

OMG! sounds like a soap doesnt it?

Well I couldn't sleep last night, so I walked to the shop then got back and was sick a few times so I went to a mutual friends flat (more mine than his) and stayed there. He said he was with him all night and I don't really know what to think. Dont want to be paraniod because it does seem to be really out of character...as in, the duration of this relationship he has done all the chasing and been like mad over me.

He called me this morning to say sorry for being drunk and not comming over so I will talk to him after he finishes work and see what he's got to say for himself.

Thanks for the replys.

Reply 9

ellabella

omg, weird. i hope nothing bad is going on but i have a feeling you might have to dump him :frown:

he really should learn how to lie. never provide an alibi of a friend that is more yours, especially when he hasnt checked it out
and he should have said he got a text from his mate saying he was in the seedy bar, misread the sender and thinking the text was from you he replied to you
honestly!

only kidding, sorry - but he is a shocking liar, luckily for you

Reply 10

King Hippo

9

Bubblebee

OMG! sounds like a soap doesnt it?

Well I couldn't sleep last night, so I walked to the shop then got back and was sick a few times so I went to a mutual friends flat (more mine than his) and stayed there. He said he was with him all night and I don't really know what to think.

Sorry, I might be reading this wrong.

Are you saying you stayed at your mate's house last night, even though your boyfriend said he was with him all last night?

Reply 11

Tufts

17

Does not sound good ;no;

I hope you're okay :hugs:

Better to find out what he's like after a few weeks rather than a few years.

Reply 12

L i b

19

Really, if you're going to mess around behind someone's back, you have to be pretty bloody stupid to accidentally text your girlfriend details of it.

Reply 13

Tufts

17

Lib North

Really, if you're going to mess around behind someone's back, you have to be pretty bloody stupid to accidentally text your girlfriend details of it.

;yes;

Unless the girlfriend and the 'other girlfriend' are next to eachother in the phone directory.

BuStEd!

Reply 14

King Hippo

9

Tufts

;yes;

Unless the girlfriend and the 'other girlfriend' are next to eachother in the phone directory.

BuStEd!

Exactly. Maybe her name's Bubbleboo. :smile:

Reply 15

gracie88

14

Lib North

Really, if you're going to mess around behind someone's back, you have to be pretty bloody stupid to accidentally text your girlfriend details of it.

Unless he happened to be so used to texting his gf he did it on autopilot...

Anyway OP just wait and talk to him, though to me it does seem suspicious...

Reply 16

L0RA

9

I dont think you're being paranoid but you need to talk to him about it.

Would this mutual friend lie to you? If they're more your friend than his it seems unlikely.

You tend to know the guys that would send messages like that to my mates, i used to think it weird when my boyfriend put love and kisses to his male friends until i realised that was the kind of person he was! If it was weird for him to be like that with a mate then you're right to think it was slightly dodgy :s-smilie:

Reply 17

wendizzle22

1

Hmm well I might say to my female friends "I'd really like to see u, not seen u in ages, are u still at Jillys?" but i suppose if it really was a flatmate he would see them every day anyway!

Reply 18

Robcampo

6

HAHA, seriously when a guy is comfortable enough with his own sexuality and his friends sexuality, and he knows the other person is also comfortable enough and wont get any wrong ideas, lads sometimes mess about and do things liek that, or put loads of kisses in messages to other lads etc the list goes on, but its just a laugh, and usually shows that your good enough friends with someone to be able to get away with it and have a laugh.

however it does sound suspicious....

Reply 19

Bubblebee

OP

15

Well, I have spent the whole day in bed, checked my mobile and have loads of texts from him... :rolleyes:

See I know him and his flatmate grew up together so they are pretty close, and his name would be right after mine in the phone book, not bubbleboo though :wink:

And the mate of mine I stayed with last night said he'd been in the same bars with him untill he left, which would have been at closing time.

I guess I just got to talk to him. I don't know what I should say though...I could be all like defensive and 'what did you do?' or sly and say 'I know what you did' or just be normal and hope he tells me.....

What do you guys think, I totally agree its a bit fishy...but I don't really understand why he would have worked this hard to get me and then blow it all in a club!?

Would this make you paranoid?

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