Turn on thread page Beta

Came on too strongly with the ex watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I saw my ex the other day after she randomly invited me out for a drive at about 10pm, saying "I need to apologise for everything" and that she was in a "mega weird headspace".

    I agreed reluctantly and we went, only for her to proceed in apologising for ending our relationship poorly - possibly cheating and being cold as hell in the end. Admittedly, I may have come across as weak here, as having already accepted her invitation out, I then told her that I understood what she had done, that it was just university - I didn't want to seem hung up on it, but realise that I should have questioned how she could do it.

    Anyway, we spent a few hours together and it was peculiar. She clearly didn't want to go home to her parents and kept coming up with excuses to compliment me, touch me and not to head home. In the end, we had sex.

    Over the course of the evening, however, I feel I had again revealed that I still cared for her deeply, whilst she was at most very nostalgic and nothing more. I said things along the lines of "I stopped seeing a girl because I realised it would never be the same as it was with us", "I'm not seeing anyone at the moment", "What we had changed my life" and "you're great, you should believe it".

    Admittedly, she did say that it felt like old times, we did have sex, she called me a "stone cold charmer" and then stated that she was terribly confused about it all for a few days afterwards. She also, however, said "I don't want to get back into a relationship, in the least harsh way" - as if she felt she had to deter me from sugegsting it or something? Of course, then she did say "not that I'm assuming you would want to". I try to follow the advice of Corey Wayne - treat it like a first date - but this girl is like heroine and being around her again, the advice just left me.

    I should add that when we were together, she was hyper intense. She's an actress and would come out with dramatic statements i.e. I want your children. So maybe she will have enjoyed the drama. A few days later, she had the new guy down to see her at her home though. Also, she ocassionally contacts me with random messages, why?
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Your her playtoy.
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    She contacts you because it's comforting and because you come running. The problem isn't that you came on too strong - she doesn't want you anymore so any way you acted makes no difference. Stop meeting up with her and focus on getting over her, stop allowing yourself to be played.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    you are deffo her toys R us
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by AvaAdore)
    She contacts you because it's comforting and because you come running. The problem isn't that you came on too strong - she doesn't want you anymore so any way you acted makes no difference. Stop meeting up with her and focus on getting over her, stop allowing yourself to be played.
    Looking back on it, I feel like the intention to apologise was genuine and the way things felt as though no time had passed + the sex a surprise to her. I feel certain from her contact over the next few days that it was not planned in any way.

    However, I agree that she probably contacts me on ocassion to simply remind me of her presence, keeping me on the linem checking to see if I will respond.

    I suppose what troubles me is the motivation for her apologising and feeling in need of attention. She said she was nostalgic, but if her new guy wasn't showing that to her, maybe that's why she contacted me?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Reason I don't think it's just sex is over the next few days she was sending suggestive messages, but said that whilst she liked the idea of the sex, she didn't think it was a good idea.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 12, 2015
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.