Long story ahead...
I (18) met a girl at a competition with someone (20) from my course; me and her got along straight away and we enjoyed working with one another. I prioritized the competition that day and didn't get to learn much about her (I feel terrible about this) and we left that day without sharing any details.
As soon as we was on the way back (200 mile journey) I was kicking myself and I was trying to think of ways I could contact her but a few days later we managed to get in touch and for the next 2 months we started speaking daily... 4 hours a day was minimal and we often spoke for stunts lasting 8-12 hours...
I found out we had a lot in common and the amount we shared was ridiculous but I also found out she was also 15. Despite the fact she was only 15 and lived 200 miles away I started gaining strong feelings for her, the 20 year old who I normally avoided knew me and her was speaking so he started speaking to me about this. He was also speaking to her every now and then and he told me that he thought she may be attracted to me and kept pushing me towards her... He knew that I had become so close with her in such a short time and knew the feelings I had towards her and he started suggesting things... He kept pushing and telling me various ways that I could get closer with her which I ignored him as I didn't want him to influence my actions and soon enough he started asking for daily updates. I told him the day I had a talk with her about past relationships and he was very interested about this but me and her had agreed to meet up while I was down south visiting anyway (I was planning on finding a way to visit but this was perfectly timed) I was going to tell her how I felt about her in person as I thought doing it over a skype call or a message was cheap and I wanted to be in person looking into her eyes when I told her.
So a few days before I met up with her she told me she had just started a relationship with another guy. I wanted to see her happy so occasionally if the time came I suggested things to make her and her boyfriend closer such as performing to him (She was comfortable enough to sing and play guitar to me but she couldn't play to him so this one of the things I encouraged ) I still met up with her and we had a good day despite the weather but at the end of the day I never told her how I felt as if she was happy with this guy I thought I could wait. The 20 year old knew about the boyfriend and still kept pushing me towards her and carried on suggesting... He even told me that she had told him that she liked me even though she was with another guy. Me and her already made arrangements for me to go down and sleep on the fold out bed (her mum had met me and was very keen, she offered me on the first day that I could of stayed over) and he started telling me to take condoms; I dismissed this as 1) she was 15 2) she was in a relationship with someone else. On another note around the time I met up with her at the interview I was giving him advice on a situation he had with his girlfriend of 2 years and he wasn't sure what to do (This will be cleared up in a minute). So the day we was planning what we was going to do when I visited (she likes everything to go smoothly) I told her i wasn't fussed what we did it would be nice to see her however that night I became overcome with emotion and ended up telling her exactly how I felt, she said she could see me and her in a date situation but the things with the new guy where going so well (When i told her I think that she was the first person I had fallen in love with she nearly broke down and left the call shortly after)... Anyway the next night I found out the boyfriend was the 20 year old guy and I was so angry... I didn't think and I went into a skype call and started shouting at him whilst she was in the call (another regret) he laughed and suggested that those 2 and me and her best friend went out on a double date so my response was "Are you insane? You have betrayed me, manipulated me and I feel like a puppet!" Fair to say I didn't end up going down to visit.
A few days later then I told her every reason why I normally stayed away from him and never trusted him... I told her he had a history with drugs and he had told me previously that he had made a substance which he then gave away to another guy on the course. I told her he is very manipulative and I asked everyone on the course who knew the two of us what they thought of the guy and everyone supported my claims. What I thought was the nail in the coffin was when I said to her he started a relationship with you whilst still with his girlfriend of 2 years who he had cheated on prior, he started a relationship with this 15 year old then went on a holiday with his current girlfriend. She broke up with him at this point (I didn't know) but got back with him about an hour later so I wouldn't really class it as a break up... I don't know what he said but he managed to do it. Everyone's opinion that I showed her all stated he was manipulative, lazy ( me and my friend basically pulled him through the course and his grades where still appalling despite the 2 of us acing it ) and he could talk his way out of any situation and can easily lie to people's faces.
She has ignored all of this and kept fighting against me... One minute we where fine next we would be having an argument always over him, about how she sees him as a nice guy and how I can't trust him for the actions I have seen over the last 2 years. She told me the only thing he has done is been nice to her whereas I had only hurt her since we met... I don't know what to think about that statement and I have been feeling terrible about it... I'm clueless... But since I found out about the two of them I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I am currently seeing a therapist for CBT health therapy course (she doesn't know about this, I didn't want her to think it was her fault...) Me and her have stopped speaking... This was her choice... Her best friend speaks to me a lot and she is trying to persuade her to speak to me properly as her best friend understands all my concerns and believes me. Her best friend doesn't get shut down when my name is mentioned and the other day she told me that she said she only dislikes me at the minute... I don't know what to think... I'm worrying everyday for her because of this guys actions since I have known him... Her parents don't know what has gone off and I have no way to warn them and I believe they will be led to think me and her have just stopped speaking... Although they where comfortable enough to have me stay round but they will not allow him to stay over... This gives me some comfort but he is good getting into people's minds... I have been told to move on but I can't and i'm in a constant rut...
Sorry I probably repeated myself a few times...
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Manipulation, betrayal and lost the person who meant the most. I can't stop worrying! watch
- Thread Starter
- 12-09-2015 19:17
- 12-09-2015 19:19