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Basically got my best mate his gf... now he's gone walkabout. watch

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    Long story short my best mate has lacked in confidence for many years. He has wanted a good looking gf for years and has had bad relationships. He has also wanted to work in a corporate setting for many years now but has had a hard time breaking into the industry he wants to go into.

    Recently I broke into the industry he wants to go into. I am working in London quite a lot these days but I have not been able to get him to come out when I am available, he always makes some excuse such as flu , having to see his gf for something etc etc. I.e. I think he is taking the piss a bit.

    How did I basically get him his gf? I introduced her to him, I guided him through how not to **** it up like he usually does. I spoke well of him to her. I got out of their way to make it look normal.

    I just think I have been too nice to the guy. I gave him free legal advice that saved him in his startup (I am a law grad), made sure that he had all the relevant contracts created because I anticipated legal disputes with his business partner. When he had the legal disputes I made sure he came out unscathed and that he took the whole business.

    Now when I want to go out for a drink he is suddenly going walkabout? It has happened many times now, it was the same when I had won him the legal dispute. It's ok because I have other people to socialise with but its just bloody annoying.


    Serious question, is now a good time to play it nice to him but really make a conscious decision to cut him out? Usually when I get pissed off with he makes some big extravagant apology but I don't think this guy is reliable anymore.
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    When you raise your standards in life, some rise to meet them and others lag behind. It's life dude, you don't have to cut him out but don't be too surprised if you have to let him slip away.
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    (Original post by Jebedee)
    When you raise your standards in life, some rise to meet them and others lag behind. It's life dude, you don't have to cut him out but don't be too surprised if you have to let him slip away.

    Already worked that one out, because when you try to cut people like him out, they try to crawl back because they probably don't want to lose you as a friend and/or your uses to them. If it is too overt, it does not work.

    So yes, you are right, letting the guy slip away is the best approach because quite frankly I cannot be bothered to chase people around.
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    It's nice that that you are a good guy and were a good friend to him but you have made the mistake of thinking because you do good you will receive good in return, does not always work like that. At least it's not so bad it could be worse just learn from this , keep a bit of distance and move on.
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    You're too alpha for TSR dude.
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    (Original post by Tom.x.Gotze)
    Long story short my best mate has lacked in confidence for many years. He has wanted a good looking gf for years and has had bad relationships. He has also wanted to work in a corporate setting for many years now but has had a hard time breaking into the industry he wants to go into.

    Recently I broke into the industry he wants to go into. I am working in London quite a lot these days but I have not been able to get him to come out when I am available, he always makes some excuse such as flu , having to see his gf for something etc etc. I.e. I think he is taking the piss a bit.

    How did I basically get him his gf? I introduced her to him, I guided him through how not to **** it up like he usually does. I spoke well of him to her. I got out of their way to make it look normal.

    I just think I have been too nice to the guy. I gave him free legal advice that saved him in his startup (I am a law grad), made sure that he had all the relevant contracts created because I anticipated legal disputes with his business partner. When he had the legal disputes I made sure he came out unscathed and that he took the whole business.

    Now when I want to go out for a drink he is suddenly going walkabout? It has happened many times now, it was the same when I had won him the legal dispute. It's ok because I have other people to socialise with but its just bloody annoying.


    Serious question, is now a good time to play it nice to him but really make a conscious decision to cut him out? Usually when I get pissed off with he makes some big extravagant apology but I don't think this guy is reliable anymore.
    My brother listen to this song
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    The answer to these questions rarely lies in people online, we never have the full picture and only get one side of the story. Talk to your friend, tell him how you feel and his response will tell you all you need to know as to whether or not you should cut him out.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    It's nice that that you are a good guy and were a good friend to him but you have made the mistake of thinking because you do good you will receive good in return, does not always work like that. At least it's not so bad it could be worse just learn from this , keep a bit of distance and move on.
    Most people do not trust me in my life even when I try to be a genuinely good person, I think it may be because of my credentials or the way I come across. But who knows man?
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    (Original post by jam277)
    My brother listen to this song



    Used to sit in library at finals time listening to this. Kendrick imparting words of wisdom.
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    (Original post by Tom.x.Gotze)


    Used to sit in library at finals time listening to this. Kendrick imparting words of wisdom.
    Pmed you, think you'll find this interesting...

    Also Kendrick is too good mane. There is a song for every mood you feeling tbh.
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    You got them together … you can break them up.
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    (Original post by Tom.x.Gotze)
    Most people do not trust me in my life even when I try to be a genuinely good person, I think it may be because of my credentials or the way I come across. But who knows man?
    Well that's true success can breed hate , I struggle to think why most people in your life would not trust you because of that though. Perhaps you really are friends with the wrong people and have to make changes yourself in who you choose to make friends with.
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    (Original post by Tom.x.Gotze)
    Long story short my best mate has lacked in confidence for many years. He has wanted a good looking gf for years and has had bad relationships. He has also wanted to work in a corporate setting for many years now but has had a hard time breaking into the industry he wants to go into.

    Recently I broke into the industry he wants to go into. I am working in London quite a lot these days but I have not been able to get him to come out when I am available, he always makes some excuse such as flu , having to see his gf for something etc etc. I.e. I think he is taking the piss a bit.

    How did I basically get him his gf? I introduced her to him, I guided him through how not to **** it up like he usually does. I spoke well of him to her. I got out of their way to make it look normal.

    I just think I have been too nice to the guy. I gave him free legal advice that saved him in his startup (I am a law grad), made sure that he had all the relevant contracts created because I anticipated legal disputes with his business partner. When he had the legal disputes I made sure he came out unscathed and that he took the whole business.

    Now when I want to go out for a drink he is suddenly going walkabout? It has happened many times now, it was the same when I had won him the legal dispute. It's ok because I have other people to socialise with but its just bloody annoying.


    Serious question, is now a good time to play it nice to him but really make a conscious decision to cut him out? Usually when I get pissed off with he makes some big extravagant apology but I don't think this guy is reliable anymore.
    typical bro. I'm guessing he takes you for granted a lot and doesn't think you'll mind. i.e. hes mugging you off purposely so he can see his gf, at a guess.

    I would ignore him for a while. see what happens from there. Sounds like an a*shole though - you have my sympathy. If he wants stuff from you like legal advice again I'd be obstructive and don't give him what he wants.
    Don't just eat sh*t from people who you give golden tickets to.
    I'd say he aint worth your time and you should get some better friends
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    (Original post by Tom.x.Gotze)
    Long story short my best mate has lacked in confidence for many years. He has wanted a good looking gf for years and has had bad relationships. He has also wanted to work in a corporate setting for many years now but has had a hard time breaking into the industry he wants to go into.

    Recently I broke into the industry he wants to go into. I am working in London quite a lot these days but I have not been able to get him to come out when I am available, he always makes some excuse such as flu , having to see his gf for something etc etc. I.e. I think he is taking the piss a bit.

    How did I basically get him his gf? I introduced her to him, I guided him through how not to **** it up like he usually does. I spoke well of him to her. I got out of their way to make it look normal.

    I just think I have been too nice to the guy. I gave him free legal advice that saved him in his startup (I am a law grad), made sure that he had all the relevant contracts created because I anticipated legal disputes with his business partner. When he had the legal disputes I made sure he came out unscathed and that he took the whole business.

    Now when I want to go out for a drink he is suddenly going walkabout? It has happened many times now, it was the same when I had won him the legal dispute. It's ok because I have other people to socialise with but its just bloody annoying.


    Serious question, is now a good time to play it nice to him but really make a conscious decision to cut him out? Usually when I get pissed off with he makes some big extravagant apology but I don't think this guy is reliable anymore.
    You sound like an awesome friend.
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    You introduced them he doesn't ****ing owe you for the whole relationship. Why don't you focus on your own life now? Clearly he doesn't want to be around you much, that's why he makes excuses - take the hint. Peiole grow and move on.
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    (Original post by AvaAdore)
    You introduced them he doesn't ****ing owe you for the whole relationship. Why don't you focus on your own life now? Clearly he doesn't want to be around you much, that's why he makes excuses - take the hint. Peiole grow and move on.
    Nah, I also walked him through how not to **** it up because he didn't even feel confident enough to ask her out.

    I also gave him free legal advice when his business partner would have eaten up his whole business.

    Fine, I will take the hint. But really, I think in the future when he inevitably needs someone to babysit him again, he will be found wanting. But such are people these days, they expect something for nothing. No loyalty, no respect, everything is transitory. I helped him not because I had to, but because I am not a prick, but I get thrown back in my face all of this attitude?

    I could treat him like the others in corporate life now, i.e. a fake friend, because essentially that is what it boils down to.
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    (Original post by Tom.x.Gotze)
    Nah, I also walked him through how not to **** it up because he didn't even feel confident enough to ask her out.

    I also gave him free legal advice when his business partner would have eaten up his whole business.

    Fine, I will take the hint. But really, I think in the future when he inevitably needs someone to babysit him again, he will be found wanting. But such are people these days, they expect something for nothing. No loyalty, no respect, everything is transitory. I helped him not because I had to, but because I am not a prick, but I get thrown back in my face all of this attitude?

    I could treat him like the others in corporate life now, i.e. a fake friend, because essentially that is what it boils down to.
    I really don't know why you're getting your panties in a twist about this? I didn't say anything to attack you personally?

    What I'm saying is - he doesn't owe you anything. People do things for each other when they're friends, it's kinda lame to be like 'but I did this for you so you should still like me'. Yeah it sucks but he is giving you lots of hints that he doesn't wanna hang out. This happens in life, people grow and move on. Just suck it up and accept your friendship is probably over. Why would you wanna be friends with someone just cos they feel they owe you?

    But hey, guess you won't listen seeing as you tried to discredit me by bringing up the fact I used to be an addict. Whiny AND vicious - can definitely see why someone would want rid of you.
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    @AvaAdore where did he bring up the fact you used to be an addict? I can't see it, and I don't see him being whiny and vicious either, he did a lot for this guy under the illusion that they were mates and now the guy can't spare a second for him, anyone'd be p*ssed I reckon.

    @OP you sound like an awesome friend, he has clearly let you down. Agree with the other poster, don't bother cutting him out, just let him slip away and don't let him come crawling back when he needs you - he isn't there for you now. Btw, what is it that you do/where are you working?
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    (Original post by TykeDragon)
    @AvaAdore where did he bring up the fact you're an addict? I can't see it, and I don't see him being whiny and vicious either, he did a lot for this guy under the illusion that they were mates and now the guy can't spare a second for him, anyone'd be p*ssed I reckon.

    @OP you sound like an awesome friend, he has clearly let you down. Agree with the other poster, don't bother cutting him out, just let him slip away and don't let him come crawling back when he needs you - he isn't there for you now. Btw, what is it that you do/where are you working?
    I pm'ed for privacy purposes.
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    (Original post by TykeDragon)
    @AvaAdore where did he bring up the fact you used to be an addict? I can't see it, and I don't see him being whiny and vicious either, he did a lot for this guy under the illusion that they were mates and now the guy can't spare a second for him, anyone'd be p*ssed I reckon.

    @OP you sound like an awesome friend, he has clearly let you down. Agree with the other poster, don't bother cutting him out, just let him slip away and don't let him come crawling back when he needs you - he isn't there for you now. Btw, what is it that you do/where are you working?
    He went on a thread I started and basically said 'I'm getting advice from an ex heroin addict wtf you can't make this **** up' so yeah think I'm well within my rights and maybe you should stay out of things you don't know about? Friendly suggestion. He came on my thread personably insulting me when I hadn't said one word insulting against him, just told him this **** happens and he had a little hissy fit.
 
 
 
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