Scared i'll end up alone forever

I'm a bit worried about my love life. I'm 18, female and in my first year of uni. Before starting uni, I had a boyfriend who I'd been with for 2 years. We broke up for a number of reasons - it didnt help that I would have to move miles away for uni either.

While at uni, I met a guy who I thought was nice from my course and after a few weeks we got together (this must have been around November last year). The relationship didnt last long (around 3 weeks) because he turned out to be quite nasty and also was constantly pressuring me for sex which got on my nerves.

I'm not a prude at all but I've noticed that a lot of people regard sex as a casual thing at uni. Thats fine by me but personally I would have to have been with someone for at least a month before I slept with them. I'm not a virgin (I lost it when I was 16 with the guy I was with for 2 years) but I just have to feel really comfortable with someone and sure of it before I have sex with them.

I'm worried about my future love life. All the men I've met at uni only really seem interested in one thing and I think they'll lose interest when they dont get it. I'm scared that I'll end up alone forever.

I have a problem trusting people and although I'd like a boyfriend, I'm suspicious of men's motives. There's so many 'players' around the uni that you can never be sure. People always say stuff like 'oh you've got loads of time before you settle down etc' but most people meet their future partners at uni dont they? A lot of my friends seem to be quite settled.

Any advice?

Reply 1

The Little Mermaid

Word of advise: Uni doesn't last forever, so obviously, you won't be alone that long!

Seriously though, not all men will be only interested in sex. Granted that their hormones are in overdrive at the moment, you just need to find the right bloke who is willing and able to take it slow. Two guys does not equate to a good survey of the entire population, so don't lose hope over the ones you mentioned! Just relax, go out, and enjoy yourself. Having your guard up all the time is only going to blind you to the opportunities that present themselves. I mean, honestly, how can you tell when "Mr. Right" comes along if you're too weary to take him seriously?

Reply 2

bone-machine

9

people USED to meet thier future partners at uni...thats not generally the case now...

Reply 3

Nix!

11

Now compare your situation to some poor soul who's in their mid-20s and still hoping against hope to meet just one person.

Your paranoia is not warranted.

Reply 4

Schmokie Dragon

17

Anonymous

I'm a bit worried about my love life. I'm 18, female and in my first year of uni. Before starting uni, I had a boyfriend who I'd been with for 2 years. We broke up for a number of reasons - it didnt help that I would have to move miles away for uni either.

While at uni, I met a guy who I thought was nice from my course and after a few weeks we got together (this must have been around November last year). The relationship didnt last long (around 3 weeks) because he turned out to be quite nasty and also was constantly pressuring me for sex which got on my nerves.

I'm not a prude at all but I've noticed that a lot of people regard sex as a casual thing at uni. Thats fine by me but personally I would have to have been with someone for at least a month before I slept with them. I'm not a virgin (I lost it when I was 16 with the guy I was with for 2 years) but I just have to feel really comfortable with someone and sure of it before I have sex with them.

I'm worried about my future love life. All the men I've met at uni only really seem interested in one thing and I think they'll lose interest when they dont get it. I'm scared that I'll end up alone forever.

I have a problem trusting people and although I'd like a boyfriend, I'm suspicious of men's motives. There's so many 'players' around the uni that you can never be sure. People always say stuff like 'oh you've got loads of time before you settle down etc' but most people meet their future partners at uni dont they? A lot of my friends seem to be quite settled.

Any advice?

Oh jeez.

If you are a lonely 18 year old you are not going to be alone forever. Most people don't meet the person they die with at uni. There as so many other places to meet people; online, in your career, at courses, at hobby groups . . . people at uni are young. They want to have fun. And just because a few of your mates have had r/ships that lasted a while, or are still going on, doesn't mean they are made for life. A lot can happen.

And there are some good blokes out there that will see things your way. Stop worrying, have fun and one day you'll bump into someone special.

Reply 5

Tufts

17

bone-machine

people USED to meet thier future partners at uni...thats not generally the case now...

Except from at Durham where the pairing rate is 70% :wink:

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Not all of us lads are like that. I have lost ladies I have been close to as I don't wanna rush things. I'm 22, and imagine living for a further 50-60 years, so why do I need sex within two weeks? I'd much rather enjoy a meal with wine, and maybe a film. That doesn't mean I wanna wake up next to someone in the morning. Just try and remember the good times, they will soon return, I'm sure.

Reply 7

coloursonthetv

1

Anonymous

Not all of us lads are like that. I have lost ladies I have been close to as I don't wanna rush things. I'm 22, and imagine living for a further 50-60 years, so why do I need sex within two weeks? I'd much rather enjoy a meal with wine, and maybe a film. That doesn't mean I wanna wake up next to someone in the morning. Just try and remember the good times, they will soon return, I'm sure.

I hope you don't have a registered username because posting that Anon was just silly :rolleyes:

Reply 8

The Little Mermaid

coloursonthetv

I hope you don't have a registered username because posting that Anon was just silly :rolleyes:

Seconded. What, you don't want your mates to know you're the sensitive type? :wink:

Reply 9

danni_bella

17

No hun, you won't I assure you - you sound pretty cool to me! :smile:

I was like you at 18, and tbh most people who say that they're really outgoing like that usually exaggerate :wink:

HTH, but most of all you're normal x x

Reply 10

*pink_sapphires*

1

DBs around! HELLO!!!

OP...you had a 2 year relationship and a guy at uni...things will be fine for you! There are some girls my age (17) who are thinking they'll be alone forever cos they've never had a boyfriend but its not true! Don't worry! As my sister said this morning 'there are plenty more fish in the sea' so you'll find someone!

Reply 11

Angrybanana

11

If you want to date at uni I think you'd stand a better chance of meeting a guy who wants a relationship further into your course. During the first year everyone's preoccupied with 'making the most of it' and living for the moment so it's true that some guys are out to add as many notches to their bedposts as they can. Come 2nd or 3rd year hopefully they'll have grown up a lot more and would be more interested in something long term.

Reply 12

Flank Runner

don't worry, you won't be alone forever, and not all men are devious sex pests, learn to open up and trust again, just take it slow, be yourself and have fun, thats the best advice i can give for anything in life

best wishes for you

chris

Reply 13

sufiankane

2

sound like a bunch of terrible guys, obviously there will be some conflict, thats just relationships but they shouldnt pressure you into something you do not want to do, not all guys are like that, its just with everything, there are the good and the bad, you just met the bad, you just need to find the toher side of the coin, at work you may meet some amazing guy.

Scared i'll end up alone forever

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