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Turned on?

hi if there is a girl you really like, for who she is, do you have to be 'turned on' if you see them to actually be attracted to them, cause i like this girl who i dont really get turned on but I really like her.

Reply 1

vet in the making

1

congratulations you've just started seeing people for who they are, what they feel and how they think rather than what the shell appears to be. You seem to be attracted to the girl for the best reasons (although the physical side gets pretty good too) Savour it because it's not often you really appriciate someone, and tell her! Good Luck!

Reply 2

plyr1688

it's good you like the person because of who she is. Thats what most people are supposed to do but unfortunately most don't

Reply 3

Anthonyjm71

9

yeah good on ya pleased you seem the light theres for more than one thing into peoplethan sex and relationships good for you for showin some respect forone another! :smile:

Reply 4

Lauren Hart

3

I wouldnt worry that you arent physically attracted just yet. In my experience you kinda tend to evolve a different type of attraction. Its one that kinda stems frmo love rather than "wow your sex on legs". Go for it. See where it goes.

Reply 5

Nalced

14

we're proud of you

Reply 6

Chumbaniya

17

I didn't really think of my girlfriend as 'hot' when I started going out with her, but I thought she was a great person who I got on really well with. Now, though, I think she's gorgeous. So no, I don't think you need to find someone instantly sexually attractive to have a good relationship.

Reply 7

sufiankane

2

sounds like you have lower standards than most people, its ok if you are not turned on.

Reply 8

Chumbaniya

17

sufiankane

sounds like you have lower standards than most people, its ok if you are not turned on.

I'm not sure that's true; even if we are to assume that the idea of 'standards' works when talking about relationships, it's not just about looks. For example, I think I have massively high standards when it comes to intelligence in a woman.

Reply 9

Yoda

12

What is wrong with you people? You're congratulating people for not looking at their whole person? When I go after someone, I don't just ignore their looks. You can't pretend to like someone if you don't like how they look. And who wants to be going out with someone pretending anyway?

Reply 10

Yoda

12

Chumbaniya

I'm not sure that's true; even if we are to assume that the idea of 'standards' works when talking about relationships, it's not just about looks. For example, I think I have massively high standards when it comes to intelligence in a woman.

I was chatting to probably the stupidest girl I've ever met yesterday. I would probably shag her just because she's so funny. I've never laughed (at her) so much in my life. Anyway, my point is if she was ugly I wouldn't shag her. So looks are important in a relationship.

Reply 11

Chumbaniya

17

Yoda

What is wrong with you people? You're congratulating people for not looking at their whole person? When I go after someone, I don't just ignore their looks. You can't pretend to like someone if you don't like how they look. And who wants to be going out with someone pretending anyway?

I think you're misinterpretting people's responses. I for one am not saying that looks aren't important; it would be foolish to say that. I don't think a relationship could work if you're with someone you consider ugly, all I'm saying is that you don't need to look at someone and find yourself wanting to have sex with straight away in order for a relationship to work. And I think you can still like the way a person looks without there being a definite sexual attraction there.

Reply 12

Chumbaniya

17

Yoda

I was chatting to probably the stupidest girl I've ever met yesterday. I would probably shag her just because she's so funny. I've never laughed (at her) so much in my life. Anyway, my point is if she was ugly I wouldn't shag her. So looks are important in a relationship.

Uh, yeah, way to generalise from yourself to everyone else. Anyway, you might want to be alerted to a little distinction between a relationship, and having sex with someone.

Reply 13

ForeverIsMyName

15

*Begins a slow clap*

Reply 14

IndianDiva

vet in the making

congratulations you've just started seeing people for who they are, what they feel and how they think rather than what the shell appears to be. You seem to be attracted to the girl for the best reasons (although the physical side gets pretty good too) Savour it because it's not often you really appriciate someone, and tell her! Good Luck!

:dito: ;yes;

Reply 15

Yoda

12

Chumbaniya

Anyway, you might want to be alerted to a little distinction between a relationship, and having sex with someone.

I'd rather not be.

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Yes - there are three drop dead gorgeous girls at my work and they reguarly get customers chatting them up but I prefer the one who's quieter and obviously loyal. Although the all have boyfriends I would much rather date this one girl if she didn't have one on the principle that she doesn't go off and sleep with random people and cheat on her boyfriend.

Plus she seems like a much more genuine person - always much better if you plan on having a relationship with someone.

Reply 17

Chumbaniya

17

Anonymous

Yes - there are three drop dead gorgeous girls at my work and they reguarly get customers chatting them up but I prefer the one who's quieter and obviously loyal. Although the all have boyfriends I would much rather date this one girl if she didn't have one on the principle that she doesn't go off and sleep with random people and cheat on her boyfriend.

Plus she seems like a much more genuine person - always much better if you plan on having a relationship with someone.

I think you're being very harsh on good looking people if you assume they are going to cheat just because they get more attention.

Reply 18

Rouge

Chumbaniya

I think you're misinterpretting people's responses. I for one am not saying that looks aren't important; it would be foolish to say that. I don't think a relationship could work if you're with someone you consider ugly, all I'm saying is that you don't need to look at someone and find yourself wanting to have sex with straight away in order for a relationship to work. And I think you can still like the way a person looks without there being a definite sexual attraction there.

i can't believe people are still replying to Yoda's posts, i can pretty much predict exactly what he will say every time, basically 1) to establish his gorgeousness and how irresistable he is to every girl, and how he can get away with his shallowness cos he's so fit
2)if a handsome guy is mentioned, pretend it is him, 3) try to make himself feel superior by making stupid offensive comments about others around him.

why is this guy making such a huge effort to boost his own ego on an internet forum, whats the point? why don't you go do it in the real world or are you too scared to talk to real people without the safetly of hiding behind a computer screen

Reply 19

vet in the making

1

Chumbaniya

I think you're misinterpretting people's responses. I for one am not saying that looks aren't important; it would be foolish to say that. I don't think a relationship could work if you're with someone you consider ugly, all I'm saying is that you don't need to look at someone and find yourself wanting to have sex with straight away in order for a relationship to work. And I think you can still like the way a person looks without there being a definite sexual attraction there.

If you read my post through I'm not saying looks aren't to be considered, merely that the chap seems to like the girl for herself rather than the shallow impression of her. I don't know for sure only he knows that, but it's how i read his post.

Turned on?

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