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how to know if you love someone

Hello guys
I have a really odd question - how do I know if I love this person?
I have liked them so to speak for about 3 years now and I think about them all the time, everything about them is perfect. I like both personality and looks (even though I can see why other people would not see the attraction).
Everytime I see them I get nervous. I thought it would go away with me going to uni, but it hasn't at all, they are in my head all of the time and I just long to be with them. Nothing has ever happened and I don't think it ever can, but is it possible to love someone without that?
I don't think I have ever loved someone before and so I don't know how to distinguish it from just a very intense crush! I know it does sound really daft.
I just want to know, so I can try and get over it if you knwo what I mean.

thanks :redface:

Reply 1

singh1987

I dont understand what you mean by 'them' are you talking about 2 people?

Reply 2

generalebriety

16

singh1987

I dont understand what you mean by 'them' are you talking about 2 people?

"They" is a (colloquial) gender-neutral term... equivalent to "he or she", just less clumsy. :smile:

Reply 3

singh1987

You might be in love with that person. its hard to tell but nobody knows if you are in love, except for you!

Reply 4

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

Hello guys
I have a really odd question - how do I know if I love this person?
I have liked them so to speak for about 3 years now and I think about them all the time, everything about them is perfect. I like both personality and looks (even though I can see why other people would not see the attraction).
Everytime I see them I get nervous. I thought it would go away with me going to uni, but it hasn't at all, they are in my head all of the time and I just long to be with them. Nothing has ever happened and I don't think it ever can, but is it possible to love someone without that?
I don't think I have ever loved someone before and so I don't know how to distinguish it from just a very intense crush! I know it does sound really daft.
I just want to know, so I can try and get over it if you knwo what I mean.

thanks :redface:

Of course it's possible to love someone without them loving you back. :smile:

It could be a crush, it could be love, it could be infatuation - the boundaries are blurred and the experience is different from everyone. But if you want to get over them, the first thing to do is to accept that in some way you are attracted to them, even if you don't know how. :smile:

Do you want to get over them, or not? I'm not too sure.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Well I'm in the exact same position (even time-frame-wise as well!). I think I've been in love with her for about 2 years, but it's hard to tell. All I can say is it's been getting in the way of my life and it cuts me up inside when I think that in all probability nothing will ever happen between us. The thing is we're nigh-on best friends and I care about her more than anything so I wouldn't be able to bear it. I am a loss because I don't know how I will ever get into a meaningful relationship if I'm still in love with her. :frown:

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

* I meant to say I wouldn't be able to bear losing that relationship..

Reply 7

xxsarahjwxx

The only way you can get on with your life is to talk to them. Tell them how you feel. Tell them you don't mind what they think of you, you just needed to get it out there. You never know until you try. At least a rejection will let you get on with your life. And you never know, they might feel the same....

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

xxsarahjwxx

The only way you can get on with your life is to talk to them. Tell them how you feel. Tell them you don't mind what they think of you, you just needed to get it out there. You never know until you try. At least a rejection will let you get on with your life. And you never know, they might feel the same....

But wouldn't this approach risk jeopardising my amazing friendship with her. Things would be weird if she didn't feel the same, which in all likelihood she doesn't. It seems to be a problem without solution. :s-smilie:

Reply 9

King Hippo

9

The thing is, different people have different definitions for love. The stuff you're describing now is infatuation in my opinion, meaning you think about the person all the time and your life is empty when they're not around.

Love on the other hand (for me at least) can only really happen when you're involved with someone, and it's when you care about them, are always there for them, will always listen to what they have to say, you know exctly what cheers them up (and they know what makes you happy), you know all their ins and outs (right down to location of moles :smile:

)... basically, when their life is as important to you (if not moreso) as your own.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

ahh infatuation... I guess it could be. How stupid, why am I infatuated?! I hate the mysteries of life!

but to generalebreity - in a perfect world no I would not like to get over them, but as it is I have to, for many reasons :frown:

Reply 11

Rouge

Anonymous

ahh infatuation... I guess it could be. How stupid, why am I infatuated?! I hate the mysteries of life!

but to generalebreity - in a perfect world no I would not like to get over them, but as it is I have to, for many reasons :frown:

what kind of reasons are they? i find often people put up barriers themselves that they can't get over but which are actually not impossible to overcome

Reply 12

vet in the making

1

xxsarahjwxx

The only way you can get on with your life is to talk to them. Tell them how you feel. Tell them you don't mind what they think of you, you just needed to get it out there. You never know until you try. At least a rejection will let you get on with your life. And you never know, they might feel the same....

I agree, and if you give it the softly softly gently genly approach you wont jeopardize the friendship, dont declare all consuming love at first just broach the subject of how close you are, and ask about ideal partners etc to test the water first. I wish you luck! I've been there (though not with such a long time span) and the only way I got past it was to talk to the young chap, nothing really happened between us and we moved on but we're both still great friends....

I don't know if this helps but best of luck with the situation

how to know if you love someone

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