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How to get out of a relationship ??

Im wanting to end the relationship with me and my girlfriend, last week i told her i wanted to end it for reasons such as her not appreciating me as often and her showing the vibes 2 me as thought she doesnt really love me etc.. another main reason for me wanting to end the relatioship is beacause ive got studies to focus on and straight A's to get. The relationship is definitly inhibiting my success and is not good for me at this stage in life.

Right ok the problem is when i told her she didnt approve of it but she went along with it and agreed to end it. However she spent a week crying and missing me and wanted to meet me, so we met up yday. She showed me all her tears when we met and we hugged and stuff, i really felt she was missing me and cos i do actually have love for her i went along n did all the intimacy. However at the end we both established we wanna get back together in a relationship. I look back 2day and i know ive made a mistake...
So my question is.. how do i end the relationship ?

Reply 1

Angrybanana

11

You shouldn't have agreed to meet her. You both need to go cold turkey to give yourselves a chance to get over each other. Say you don't want to get back with her, you broke up for a reason and if you went back to being in a relationship you'd have the same probs all over again.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

I'm in the same situation and it's so hard. Just got to try and stay strong and be true to yourself.

Reply 3

-Aimee-

13

Couldn't you just agree to take a break, say for a few months, until your exams are over? Or do you just genuinely not want to be with her, or in any relationship for as long as you are in education?

Reply 4

miss_world

3

In my opinion a break is often worse than a break up. If you want to break up then you need to talk to her and make it clear that you want to end the relationship and this time stick to it. It may not seem like it at first, least of all to her, but by breaking up in a clean, straight forward way you'll actually save yourselves a lot of hurt. If you keep breaking up then getting back together because she misses you/ you feel sorry for her you'll both just end up feeling messed about and confused. This sounds really harsh, but trust me it's for the best in the end.

Reply 5

Bubblebee

15

Yup, by breaking up with her you are always going to be the bad guy and you just need to accept that...don't go over board with the cruelty but make sure she knows it is over.

Reply 6

Yoda

12

Tell her face to face. Give her some ****ty reason like "its just not working". Of course if she really does want to know why, you can tell her.

Reply 7

miss_world

3

Yoda

Tell her face to face. Give her some ****ty reason like "its just not working". Of course if she really does want to know why, you can tell her.

Don't do that. Just tell her the truth. Nice and simple. Like I said it's a lot kinder that way.

Reply 8

Yoda

12

I thought that, but then I realised "you're pissing me off, you're too clingy, and I prefer studying to talking to you" was a little worse than just some bull**** "I'm going now" line.

Reply 9

ruthiepoothie

11

i agree with whats been said, you have to make a decision one way or the other and stick to it, its not fair on her to say one thing and then change your mind, even if you think its what she needs, she needs you to be straight with her.
if you don't want to destroy her confidence then you don't need to be harsh about it, just tell her you don't feel the same way anymore.
she deserves not to be messed about though, you both do.

Ruthie xx

Reply 10

veni, vidi, vici

11

Anonymous

Im wanting to end the relationship with me and my girlfriend, last week i told her i wanted to end it for reasons such as her not appreciating me as often and her showing the vibes 2 me as thought she doesnt really love me etc.. another main reason for me wanting to end the relatioship is beacause ive got studies to focus on and straight A's to get. The relationship is definitly inhibiting my success and is not good for me at this stage in life.

Right ok the problem is when i told her she didnt approve of it but she went along with it and agreed to end it. However she spent a week crying and missing me and wanted to meet me, so we met up yday. She showed me all her tears when we met and we hugged and stuff, i really felt she was missing me and cos i do actually have love for her i went along n did all the intimacy. However at the end we both established we wanna get back together in a relationship. I look back 2day and i know ive made a mistake...
So my question is.. how do i end the relationship ?

omg, honestly EXACT same situation for me last year when i was in yr12.i'm aiming for straight A's and i used the genuine excuse that she doesnt appreciate me and the things i do for her.so she started crying and i met up with her, i felt bad and we got bk together even though part of me didn't want to.i felt as though i wanted to get my life bk and in the end it was the start of so much hurt.i know the feeling when the girl is crying but its also her way of getting what she needs, without understanding your situation.now im not saying the girl in question is anywhere near as maniupulative as my ex, because she too said she understood about skwl and stuf.what id advise is to be totally honest and not to look back.don't try and think of a long term plan or make her feel bad about not appreciating you or like she doesnt love you,because she'll keep coming bk-wanting you to forgive her and give her another chance.i would be honest, say that you want to focus on your studies and she's got to respect that.admit that there's no fault on her part and that you'd like to stay close but don't make any promises.after this situation last year i messed it all up and it was 7 months of confusion and unnecessary stuf after the initial time we split up. :smile:

Reply 11

mr_person

1

Have sex with someone else. Don't tell her about it, and lie when questioned about it. This way you get the excitement factor of tricking someone in addition to the required break-up when she eventually finds out!

If you care about her feelings at all, there might be one or two issues though...

How to get out of a relationship ??

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