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Dad is being really selfish with money watch

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    In summary mum lost job- can't afford anything now, but is looking for working and doing pretty much anything.

    Dad has a lot of money, (can afford private schools etc-) he does undertake a lot of costs at home- like everything, every bill, food shop, etc him

    He wont give my mum any money at all- she's in a little debt that she can't pay back atm- I mean like £200, he wont pay it for her. But he will buy her expensive gifts.

    She can't atm pay it off, but will be able to when she gets back on her feet.

    THEY ARE MARRIED.

    Like I understand he pays for everything- but that's because he earns ££££. (I've seen his contract) I understand that its frustrating that your wife who use to earn ££ is now earning near nothing- but is it unreasonable for him to help her- just once.

    Like she's not coping at all. I've suggested CAB- and they should be able to help her out. But I feel sad that I can't help her. I'm looking for a job (like normal one- fast food etc)so I can have money and help her out aswell.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In summary mum lost job- can't afford anything now, but is looking for working and doing pretty much anything.

    Dad has a lot of money, (can afford private schools etc-) he does undertake a lot of costs at home- like everything, every bill, food shop, etc him

    He wont give my mum any money at all- she's in a little debt that she can't pay back atm- I mean like £200, he wont pay it for her. But he will buy her expensive gifts.

    She can't atm pay it off, but will be able to when she gets back on her feet.

    THEY ARE MARRIED.

    Like I understand he pays for everything- but that's because he earns ££££. (I've seen his contract) I understand that its frustrating that your wife who use to earn ££ is now earning near nothing- but is it unreasonable for him to help her- just once.

    Like she's not coping at all. I've suggested CAB- and they should be able to help her out. But I feel sad that I can't help her. I'm looking for a job (like normal one- fast food etc)so I can have money and help her out aswell.
    She should sell some of the gifts and use this to pay the debt.
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    omg that's so weird.

    She could always sell one of those expensive gifts to pay it back?
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    I could understand if it were £thousands but only £200 (probably acquiring interest?), he should pay it off and reduce stress off his wife...
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    Im not exactly a traditionalist, but **** me is there no sense of duty and love within families anymore?!

    What an oddly horrible way to treat your wife and the mother of your children.
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    (Original post by Doctor_Einstein)
    She should sell some of the gifts and use this to pay the debt.
    yeah I just said that now, I told her to sell her ipad
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    (Original post by Tanjida95x)
    omg that's so weird.

    She could always sell one of those expensive gifts to pay it back?
    yeah I talked to my friends about it- and they said it seemed really weird tbh.
    yeah I've suggested it - literally we're just looking for ways to raise the money now - shes got an interview this afternoon hopefully will go well

    (Original post by hihihihihi)
    I could understand if it were £thousands but only £200 (probably acquiring interest?), he should pay it off and reduce stress off his wife...
    yeah its really weird because literally the other day I asked for that amount because I was going away (academic) and he gave it to me like as soon as I asked. I should have saved it and given it to her but ii needed the money at that point. I did give her a little, because that's all I had. I feel like he hates her but doesn't want to divorce her
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    (Original post by Sir Candour)
    Im not exactly a traditionalist, but **** me is there no sense of duty and love within families anymore?!

    What an oddly horrible way to treat your wife and the mother of your children.
    yeah its really ****.
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    He is selfish, but he pays for everything?

    What is the debt for and who is the money owed to?
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    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    He is selfish, but he pays for everything?

    What is the debt for and who is the money owed to?
    yeah, I know he pays for everything- like its amazing that he looks after us all to an extent, but he can afford to help her. he has the money.

    I don't know the details of her debt.
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    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    He is selfish, but he pays for everything?

    What is the debt for and who is the money owed to?
    why buy her fancy gifts when she needs the money
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    why buy her fancy gifts when she needs the money
    Without the full story I couldn't possibly know. But it is obvious that there is more to this than meets the eye.
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    De***, I don't see how this marriage is making sense.

    Sorry to hear your mum's in trouble, I really don't get it from your dad's point of view. Money is money, use it or lose it. Bloody pay off the debt and give your Wife a break o.oer
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    The only bit I find weird is that he buys her gifts instead of giving her the money to pay the debt. Other thanthat, I sympathise with your dad entirely. My immediate relatives are terrible with money whereas I've always been very sensible with it, so now I have substantial savings to fall back on and every time they get themselves into a financial pickle, AGAIN, where they can't stop living beyond their means and running up debts, they come running to me to bail them out. Think it's rather silly that your mum was working, your dad was paying all the bills and yet she managed to save absolutely nothing in case she needed it one day.
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    I suppose it depends on what they debt is for, if she borrowed money for useless stuff I can see why he would be reluctant. Also, does she spend a lot? He might be worried that if he gives her money she might go out and spend it on something else. Must be more to it that what you've said??
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    The only bit I find weird is that he buys her gifts instead of giving her the money to pay the debt. Other thanthat, I sympathise with your dad entirely. My immediate relatives are terrible with money whereas I've always been very sensible with it, so now I have substantial savings to fall back on and every time they get themselves into a financial pickle, AGAIN, where they can't stop living beyond their means and running up debts, they come running to me to bail them out. Think it's rather silly that your mum was working, your dad was paying all the bills and yet she managed to save absolutely nothing in case she needed it one day.
    but the issue is, my dad wasn't always this wealthy and when my mum earned more back in the day she would always support him when he struggled- like a lot. but now that she's struggling and in need of help he will not help her. It's really not a 1 sided thing with him bailing her out- it is legitimately this month she needs his help because she can't repay what she owes because she lost her job, and she's looking for jobs and working- but will need some help
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    (Original post by RMNDK)
    De***, I don't see how this marriage is making sense.

    Sorry to hear your mum's in trouble, I really don't get it from your dad's point of view. Money is money, use it or lose it. Bloody pay off the debt and give your Wife a break o.oer
    thanks, like I was thinking that too. im actually scared that she might kill herself over this or something. she's a different person
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In summary mum lost job- can't afford anything now, but is looking for working and doing pretty much anything.

    Dad has a lot of money, (can afford private schools etc-) he does undertake a lot of costs at home- like everything, every bill, food shop, etc him

    He wont give my mum any money at all- she's in a little debt that she can't pay back atm- I mean like £200, he wont pay it for her. But he will buy her expensive gifts.

    She can't atm pay it off, but will be able to when she gets back on her feet.

    THEY ARE MARRIED.

    Like I understand he pays for everything- but that's because he earns ££££. (I've seen his contract) I understand that its frustrating that your wife who use to earn ££ is now earning near nothing- but is it unreasonable for him to help her- just once.

    Like she's not coping at all. I've suggested CAB- and they should be able to help her out. But I feel sad that I can't help her. I'm looking for a job (like normal one- fast food etc)so I can have money and help her out aswell.
    What does your dad do for a living?
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    (Original post by stargirl63)
    What does your dad do for a living?
    the city
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the city
    Is that his job title? I didn't ask where...

    What does he do for a living?
 
 
 
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