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I need an outsiders perspective on who is right. watch

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    So in a completely unbias test of who is right I will try and give you all the information and someone can tell me whether I am in the wrong.
    I am leaving for university on saturday. My parents were going out for the day and told me that they wouldn't be around in the morning to drop me off at uni and said they would come in the evening to see everything and make sure I was okay. So I planned to go up with my girlfriend, we would drive up in the afternoon in her car, empty my things sort everything back and then she would drive back. That plan was set, then my parents changed their mind and decided they wanted to help me get there and unpack and things which I said was fine so now I could of driven up with them in the morning while my gf worked and then she could of driven up later, or they could of waited till the afternoon when she finished work and we all drive up together. She didn't want to do the second option because she didn't want my parents to wait around, which is fair enough. So me and my girlfriend have just argued about this and she stormed out my house crying. She said I'm being a **** for changing my plans, but I told her I'm not changing my plans all I've done is given my parents the opportunity to be there when I move into uni and don't know what else I could of done. I think shes being ridiculously unfair and she thinks the same of me. This is literally all of the information from the entire argument, so who is in the wrong?
    thanks
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    I think you're being really horrible to her
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    She's being a bit out of order in my opinion. Your parents have the right to come with you, and it's not like you're stopping her from coming. You can easily all drive up together, or she can join you later on. She doesn't have to come at all if she doesn't want to. She's overreacted massively
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    There must be more to this argument
    • #2
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    to be honest, you want to move in as quickly as possible, then go socialise to make new friends.. so you don't want your parents or your girlfriend hanging around!
    the key to a successful relationship is apologising not because you're wrong, but because you value the person more than 'being right'
    just say sorry to your gf, go to uni with whoever, and send them home asap so you can actually meet the people you'll be living with
    but if you don't make up with your gf before you leave, you probably won't last long distance
    can't she just visit another time anyway?
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    I don't understand why she has taken it so badly? its not as if you're telling her she hasn't to go with you. You're giving everyone the opportunity to be there at the same time. Personally i think she is being a bit unfair with you and from what you've said i don't think you're in the wrong. It sounds like she was happy with it just being you two and now that you've said about your parents taking you shes annoyed by that? I think she's over reacting personally, tell her to chill and you can all go together ...
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    she said that she hates it when I change my plans, and that I should of confirmed things over 100% with my parents, but frankly I'm quite a relaxed person and having to confirm everything all the time seem a little mental, personally
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    It's not really up to her, after all, it is you thats moving, not her...
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    Basically, you're not very decisive and it's inconvenient for your girlfriend. Make a decision and stick to it and until you've made a decision, don't tell people your plans because it actually affects their life too. Simple. Oh and some other life advice: it's HAVE not 'of'. Could 'have', would 'have', should 'have', will 'have' etc.
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    (Original post by Georgeszpiro)
    she said that she hates it when I change my plans, and that I should of confirmed things over 100% with my parents, but frankly I'm quite a relaxed person and having to confirm everything all the time seem a little mental, personally
    Yeah, moving away to uni is a bigger deal for your parents than it is for her... I think you did the right thing. Getting upset over nothing important at all.
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    (Original post by Georgeszpiro)
    she said that she hates it when I change my plans, and that I should of confirmed things over 100% with my parents, but frankly I'm quite a relaxed person and having to confirm everything all the time seem a little mental, personally
    It's fairly obvious that your girlfriend sees it as a slight as she wanted alone time with you and she's upset that you changed last minute because ultimately, now she'll need to be with your parents as well.

    I see your point OP. You wanted everyone to be together.

    I'm not someone who likes plans changed either tbh. It's just because you gear up for something specific and changing it can make the other person feel like you're being selfish. In this case I think your girlfriend was a bit unfair but I also feel that you should have made a decision and stuck by it.

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    She seems to be overreacting and maybe being melodramatic at the same time to me. Maybe something else is bothering her? Stress perhaps? It seems odd that she'd fly off the handle like that over something minor. She's also being kinda selfish too. I mean if it was my family I know for a fact that my parents would want to come to see me settling in.
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    She's upset because you told her you wanted her to take you and she was flattered and really happy to help. She thought she was special and you were relying on her and he mattered.

    Then you told her she couldn't take you.

    You have rejected her help and she is upset because she feels rejected.

    You should have told your parents you had made other plans and let your girlfriend take you. Do that now. Tell them you had arranged for your girlfriend to take you and now she's upset. And making her go as a passenger would now make things even worse - it would move her from being able to help you to being made to seem clingy .
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    You're attempting to apply logic to women. It doesn't work.
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    she's being unfair, I can see why she would be a bit disappointed or frustrated at plans changing (and maybe she doesn't want to drive back alone with your parents or drive both ways completely alone) but at the end of the day you haven't messed her around, it's reasonable for your parents to come and you have offered her a way to be there or not be there
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    I understand her- its not nice when you make plans with someone and then they cancel on your for someone else. They end up feeling like a back up plan
 
 
 
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