I'll try and keep this as short as I can. (TL;DR at bottom)
Basically, did AS Maths, Physics, Biology and Chemistry last year and failed them quite spectacularly, with predicted grades of Bs, I ended up with:
B in Biology
D in Physics (at one point my teacher predicted me an A, and was confident I could get at the lowest a C).
E in Chemistry (Despite getting an A in the ISA and feeling confident for unit 1)
U in Maths (had been struggling throughout the year, but felt prepared for C1)
I am now studying a BTEC Level 3 Extended diploma in IT + Computing, as if I carried on with A-levels I would have had to carry on with Bio (which I planned to drop) and pick up a new AS under the new system, or move to a different college and retake year 12.
I feel like I have been suffering from some form of depression since my GCSEs, and not putting effort in and therefore struggling with my AS's and ultimately failing made it worse. Since I've started the BTEC, every day I've felt extreme guilt and regret over not carrying on with A-levels, especially after hearing one of my classmates carried on with Chemistry despite getting an E (A2 requires a D at AS).
I know it was my fault I failed, but I don't know (and this sounds really stupid, i know) if I actually miss the subjects or just the teachers + people in the class. When I was dong them, I didn't feel like I enjoyed them, but feel like that may be due to not putting effort in and therefore struggling.
I don't know what I want to do at uni or as a career, and at the moment I don't really feel like I enjoy or have the motivation for anything, but the guilt has got so bad it has become a physical feeling of unease/pain, and I feel like the only way to get better is to do my A2s and retake AS exams, despite the prospect or 13/14 exams in summer.
My ideal plan would be to do Physics, Chemistry and Maths, as I would hate another year of Bio, but I also enjoy the BTEC, but 2 years of feeling like this will ruin it.
Theres no guarantee at this point that the college will even let me do A levels after 2 weeks, (I was very far off a D in chemistry anyway) and I feel like I'm going to piss everyone off if I ask, as my parents and the college said I should / could do the A level option they were offering.
Theres no guarantee I'll even pass, as I struggled with 9 exams this year, but I hate myself for not trying harder and sooner, and feel like it will only get worse, and I'll spent the rest of my life regretting, despite having no career or university plan as of now :/
I need help/advice please.
(Sorry for the essay, just needed to get it off my chest)
TL;DR- Failed AS science + Maths with BDEU, now doing level 3 IT/computing BTEC, but regret not carrying on with A-levels and taking the chance to rectify the mistakes I made. Guilt and regret so strong it's making me feel physically sick/ill, and stopping me from enjoying the BTEC, and not sure I wouldn't regret carrying on with A levels, but can't go on for 2 years like this.
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Feeling regretful, guilty and need help. watch
- Thread Starter
- 15-09-2015 19:00
- 15-09-2015 20:27
Drop the btec IT (Unless u really like it nd want to do it)) get back in them classes, hang out with your class, work harder you'll feel much better it's ONLY 1 WEEK IN surely you cango back still you have enough time
& cmon You Got a B In Biology that's a good grade You can carry on with biology & Physics A2 & carry on with Chemistry perhaps or ask if u can do a different subject and try to do As & A2 in a year,
If you work really hard but more importantly learn how to revise effectively, you're organised & learn exam technique You can go up to B's & A's it's possible (will have to retake some for physcics chemistry or whatver tho)
I think for you u worry too much especially about the 'i'll piss of the teachers if I ask'' thing... you serious? It's their job to help u don't just ask demand it You were one grade away from being able to carry on & U did pretty well for 1st year AS, So don't settle for btec ITC
& With the 'don't know what I want to do thing' just start this year see how these few weeks go & think what you ENJOY the most, (doesn't have to be one of ur a levels necessarily could be psychology anthropology whatvere..)
& bTW When you're working for something it cures depression quite well & it helps a lot to be sociable between llessons ecc
( btw I'm doing A2 this year nd was disappointed with my results but gonna work harder! good luck)