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Christians on TSR: Advice please? watch

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    Hi,
    I'm a Christian who believes in no sex before marriage. My beliefs and life decision in this isnt popular amongst my peers, with many of them making nasty comments such as calling me "frigid" and putting pressure on me. Its also very unpopular with guys; my ex cheated on me and was horrible to me because i woukd not sleep with him.

    I am beginning to feel lonely and like I wont find anyone accepting of my beliefs. So i wondered, if you are a Christian on TSR, how highly do you regard your virginity? Is my belief an old fashioned Christian belief that doesnt fit society? What should I do generally? Any advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks x
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    #2

    I'm a Christian although not a virgin . You need to look for a guy who is a Christian so they'll share your values. They'll be more likely to accept your commitment and focus on God together.
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    Hey,
    I'm a Christian who believes in not having sex before marriage too .

    "My beliefs and life decision in this isnt popular amongst my peers, with many of them making nasty comments such as calling me "frigid" and putting pressure on me. Its also very unpopular with guys; my ex cheated on me and was horrible to me because i woukd not sleep with him.

    I am beginning to feel lonely and like I wont find anyone accepting of my beliefs. So i wondered, if you are a Christian on TSR, how highly do you regard your virginity? Is my belief an old fashioned Christian belief that doesnt fit society? What should I do generally? Any advice would be appreciated.
    I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Oddly enough, I have not instead it's been the other way round for me."

    I apologise on the behalf of those who treated you this way.
    They were wrong for treating you this way and please do not allow peer pressure alter your views. Many of us are still waiting even though it may not seem like it. Compared to those who are not waiting and who are no longer virgins, we are few but if you consider other Christians, even Muslims, and even some atheists who are deciding to wait- we are actually many. I am waiting and I really could not give a damn if someone calls me prudish or anything because I know why I am waiting. Things like that motivate me even more to keep focused on my views because I know what I stand for and what would be gained. People like to think about now, and how things are now but they do not consider the long term goals or where things could go in years from now. Me waiting until marriage is a promise I made to myself because I see the long term advantages. Just waiting for a few years is nothing compared to having a strong foundation in your marriage for many years, a lifetime. Of course there is more to a marriage than sex but you'll see what I mean by this as I explain along.

    So, I'm going to be 18 in a month and I've said to myself, even once I'm at university- I will not allow what's popular to change my views. Apart from religious reasons, there are numerous reasons why people wait until marriage to have sex. As a Christian, I believe it is the correct way to do things as Yahweh said so. But looking away from Christian views:

    1) Waiting until marriage allows me and my partner to purely focus on getting to know each other and working on our relationship. Allowing us to really focus on more important things such as communication. Without fundamentals such having good communication in a relationship, even where sex is involved, the relationship will not last. I feel that there is more to a relationship than just sex. There's something about it, just focusing on getting to know each other and your personalities- you as individuals without distractions. I love that. If a guy could respect that and want that too, we could build a strong foundation of a relationship, focusing on things outside of physical attraction and this is not just a friendship as some may think but a platonic but romantic relationship where you know if your relationship could truly survive if sex was somehow removed from the equation, I know others may think how could you have a platonic, romantic relationship at first but it's definitely possible. Platonic in the sense that you love each other but you are not having sex but it's still romantic because you're attracted to each other sexually so you find other ways to express that energy such as going out on dates, watching a romantic movie or simply just having a deep chat about each other. Something I find so cute that my grandparents did as they waited, they would do everything with each other to really love each other without wanting something in return, I hope I make sense but my grandpa till the day he died did the things they did before they got married and were having sex lol such as painting my grandmother's nails, cuddling together before they went to sleep and she kissing his forehead.
    That kind of relationship blew me away and it's super rare to find.

    But going back to this subject, I would like to be having sex at 60 lol but I know sometimes, with life, at a point things won't be the same which may have an affect on your sex life. Our bodies change, hormones kick in, libidos change and on a more serious note, God forbid a fatal, life changing incident happened to my husband or me where we couldn't be physically intimate as before, though it would be hard, we wouldn't forget what we first fell in love with. We wouldn't forget that we fell in love with each other before we were having sex. I mean imagine falling in love and your not even having sex yet, it's amazing and it definitely does happen to people. I have always had this saying that sex is the cherry on top while the love, marriage is the cake.
    To love someone unconditionally, regardless of what they can offer you is beyond phenomenal. If any guy could truly wait or wants to wait with me, I know that he truly loves me for me as a person and that he doesn't see me as an object or as if it's his own right to have sex with me.

    2) Sorry one was really long, it had many sub points
    I know we have all the protection in the world and that contraceptives are everywhere to avoid pregnancy. But as a woman who has periods and knows she's fertile, even the most effective contraceptive could not 100% avoid pregnancy. I'm not trying to scare any one out there but it's true. Look at the statistics. No contraceptive out there is 100%, there is 99% meaning there is a 1% chance of pregnancy. So for every 100 women, 1 becomes pregnant. Let's compare that to 1 million so from that
    100, 000 women may have experienced unexpected pregnancies from these contraceptives. I do not know if that would be me or not as accidents happen. The only 100% method is abstinence and as I am not ready to be a mother, I'd rather avoid thinking about the possibilities altogether. I already have a panic attack when I miss my periods maybe to stress, imagine if I became sexually active? No thank you, I do not need more things to worry about.

    3) I don't have to deal with worrying about STIs. Now, if you're talking about infections that are not sexually transmitted, yes even virgins experience this but for me personally, sexually transmitted ones...no. I think it is possible for a virgin to catch a STI but not through intercourse, instead through other means. I know many people have cold sores which are actually a type of herpes and if a guy has a cold sore on his lips then performs oral sex on his girlfriend, she could actually get genital herpes even without having sex. But in my case, I'm saying I love not having to worry about that stuff. Like I have said, I see this as extra baggage and unnecessary worry.

    - This point is more of a religious one but I really do not see sex as just a physical action. I think it's spiritual too. Something so intimate, I've heard a saying claiming it's the highest expression and feeling of high two people who love each other could possibly do together and I agree to some extent. Both bodies coming together physically and spiritually is how I see it. I believe we have energies, this is our spirit so as we are sharing such an vulnerable yet intimate side of us with someone else we say we love, it's like almost transferring some of this energy with someone else. The endearment lovers sometimes use is 'my second haf', this analogy comes into my head when thinking about this topic. I know it may sound wippy crazy to some but I'm starting to understand humans and how we are, it actually makes sense.

    - But overall, there are many more reasons why I am waiting. Not because of the statistics that also claims that those who waited had lower percentages of divorce rates (not surprised) but because of the long term effects and considerations. I know how I want my marriage to be like and how I want my husband to view me.
    At the end of the day, it's your own body and I think it's absurd that others are trying to shame you because of your decisions towards sex. Fair enough, if they or others think it's somehow religion controlling women, ok whatever or that we are prudish good for them, they should just not come at others with such rude approaches. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but being respectful is equally important. I don't agree on premarital sex at all, not even just on a religious bases but my own personal views towards sex. It doesn't mean though that I can therefore judge those or shame those who didn't choose to wait. Either way, I think God's way is always best though But I'm here for you if you ever feel alone or just want to chat about how you feel. Other Christians are here for you too, don't back down- stay strong! We're all in this together and we can do it, regardless of what others are saying on this thread, i.e the comment above- it is possible to wait until marriage and have sex.
    On a side note, I think society is over sexualised any way. The amount of power we've given sex is just beyond me and I'm tired of it. I can't begin to explain how proud I am of the men who are deciding to wait too, even with the social pressures and stereotypes. Guys seem to face more hate than the ladies do when it comes to waiting until marriage. Tim Tebow who is an American, football quaterback is a 28, male virgin and he is hot. He's also dated very beautiful women but still keeps true to his beliefs and morals.
    So there are celebrities who are waiting too who I have not listed, male and female who know what you're going through and may have it harder as they are constantly in the public eye. I was speaking to a few guy friends at Christian Union at school even and these are super cute guys but chose to wait. Sadly they have girlfriends (they are waiting too x):/ I wish I met them earlier lol

    But yea, please don't feel alone. We're a community, there are other Christians on here who are equally here for you! It's a shame not all of us got the chance to reach out to you x :hugs:
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    Hey, just remember the consequences of doing it before marriage.

    You can do it keep going.
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    I would personally wait because too many people get into relationships because of sex and think that their relationship will develop like that but little do they know, sex within marriage is a spiritual, emotional and physical connection, whereas sex before, marriage is just a physical connection.
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    toonervoustоtalk

    OP are you Asian by any chance?

    I am a High Church Anglican. What age are you? Things can be hard at school.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,
    I'm a Christian who believes in no sex before marriage. My beliefs and life decision in this isnt popular amongst my peers, with many of them making nasty comments such as calling me "frigid" and putting pressure on me. Its also very unpopular with guys; my ex cheated on me and was horrible to me because i woukd not sleep with him.

    I am beginning to feel lonely and like I wont find anyone accepting of my beliefs. So i wondered, if you are a Christian on TSR, how highly do you regard your virginity? Is my belief an old fashioned Christian belief that doesnt fit society? What should I do generally? Any advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks x
    well I'm catholic and I think virginity is a social construct. So yeah
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    You need to surround yourself with the right people.

    I have been teased before by a girl in my class for not having a bf,but in all honesty, her life was not all that great in terms of friendships with whom she was seeing.
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    God will reward you for your obedience-No sex before marriage, this is one challenging obstacle that most Christians fail to overcome.
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    (Original post by picklescamp)
    well I'm catholic and I think virginity is a social construct. So yeah
    I'm interested to hear what you mean about this and your views.
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    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    Virginity in my opinion is a heteronormative construct to shame people about their sexuality and control them. It is very weird the emphasis placed on sex in religion. Why is it so important what a person does with another person. Why is it seen as such an important milestone??? You're not suddenly any different when you have sex to when you don't.

    I am by no means saying you should have sex. It's your choice do what you want. But this concept of virginity is bs. Also, why do you feel the need to tell your peers that you're against sex before marriage? is it any of their business.

    What annoys me about people claiming they're against sex before marriage is that they probably will have sex before marriage and then you'll look back and here all the **** they've said to shame other people and they go on and do it. Takes the piss.

    Quite frankly, if you don't want to have sex before marriage then you need to find a partner who shares your views or not date at all- because there will always be temptation. (but i'm not saying you should do either)

    Former catholic here, currently looking for a religion that suits me, but still believe to an extent
    Hm, I disagree entirely.
    I won't go into much detail as I did previously with my response to the OP
    But it's true that those who are against sex before marriage can find themselves having sex before marriage. I disagree with the 'probably will have sex before marriage' part mainly. Like, we do indeed have control over our bodies; I know you were not saying that we do not but it sounds almost as if we are sex machines ready to fire loose but instead we are repressing this fire or something. No, if you truly know why you are waiting and see the positives, you will wait and fight off the temptation even when things become difficult. I and others are doing so. Religion....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,
    I'm a Christian who believes in no sex before marriage. My beliefs and life decision in this isnt popular amongst my peers, with many of them making nasty comments such as calling me "frigid" and putting pressure on me. Its also very unpopular with guys; my ex cheated on me and was horrible to me because i woukd not sleep with him.

    I am beginning to feel lonely and like I wont find anyone accepting of my beliefs. So i wondered, if you are a Christian on TSR, how highly do you regard your virginity? Is my belief an old fashioned Christian belief that doesnt fit society? What should I do generally? Any advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks x
    As others have said, if you want to continue dating, then you'll need to find somebody (probably Christian) who agrees with your views on premarital sex.

    At the same time, realise that it's not anybody's job to accept your beliefs. You don't have to discuss your views on premarital sex with other people if you think it will encourage them to mock you. I do get quite annoyed when religious people expect that their views should be respected just because it's part of their religion. I'm happy to tolerate, but I won't respect every (or even most) aspect(s) of your religion, sorry.

    Is my belief an old fashioned Christian belief that doesnt fit society? What should I do generally? Any advice would be appreciated.
    The short answer is yes. However, right or wrong isn't determined by whether it's old-fashioned or not. As for what you should do: find a Christian boyfriend or don't date. There really aren't many other solutions to this because most people will want sex in a committed relationship, married or otherwise, and you can't really expect the other person to 'wait' for you unless they want the same.
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    Don't change your morals to please other people, this is the worst thing to do.
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    (Original post by Cherry82)
    Hey,
    I'm a Christian who believes in not having sex before marriage too .

    "My beliefs and life decision in this isnt popular amongst my peers, with many of them making nasty comments such as calling me "frigid" and putting pressure on me. Its also very unpopular with guys; my ex cheated on me and was horrible to me because i woukd not sleep with him.

    I am beginning to feel lonely and like I wont find anyone accepting of my beliefs. So i wondered, if you are a Christian on TSR, how highly do you regard your virginity? Is my belief an old fashioned Christian belief that doesnt fit society? What should I do generally? Any advice would be appreciated.
    I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Oddly enough, I have not instead it's been the other way round for me."

    I apologise on the behalf of those who treated you this way.
    They were wrong for treating you this way and please do not allow peer pressure alter your views. Many of us are still waiting even though it may not seem like it. Compared to those who are not waiting and who are no longer virgins, we are few but if you consider other Christians, even Muslims, and even some atheists who are deciding to wait- we are actually many. I am waiting and I really could not give a damn if someone calls me prudish or anything because I know why I am waiting. Things like that motivate me even more to keep focused on my views because I know what I stand for and what would be gained. People like to think about now, and how things are now but they do not consider the long term goals or where things could go in years from now. Me waiting until marriage is a promise I made to myself because I see the long term advantages. Just waiting for a few years is nothing compared to having a strong foundation in your marriage for many years, a lifetime. Of course there is more to a marriage than sex but you'll see what I mean by this as I explain along.

    So, I'm going to be 18 in a month and I've said to myself, even once I'm at university- I will not allow what's popular to change my views. Apart from religious reasons, there are numerous reasons why people wait until marriage to have sex. As a Christian, I believe it is the correct way to do things as Yahweh said so. But looking away from Christian views:

    1) Waiting until marriage allows me and my partner to purely focus on getting to know each other and working on our relationship. Allowing us to really focus on more important things such as communication. Without fundamentals such having good communication in a relationship, even where sex is involved, the relationship will not last. I feel that there is more to a relationship than just sex. There's something about it, just focusing on getting to know each other and your personalities- you as individuals without distractions. I love that. If a guy could respect that and want that too, we could build a strong foundation of a relationship, focusing on things outside of physical attraction and this is not just a friendship as some may think but a platonic but romantic relationship where you know if your relationship could truly survive if sex was somehow removed from the equation, I know others may think how could you have a platonic, romantic relationship at first but it's definitely possible. Platonic in the sense that you love each other but you are not having sex but it's still romantic because you're attracted to each other sexually so you find other ways to express that energy such as going out on dates, watching a romantic movie or simply just having a deep chat about each other. Something I find so cute that my grandparents did as they waited, they would do everything with each other to really love each other without wanting something in return, I hope I make sense but my grandpa till the day he died did the things they did before they got married and were having sex lol such as painting my grandmother's nails, cuddling together before they went to sleep and she kissing his forehead.
    That kind of relationship blew me away and it's super rare to find.

    But going back to this subject, I would like to be having sex at 60 lol but I know sometimes, with life, at a point things won't be the same which may have an affect on your sex life. Our bodies change, hormones kick in, libidos change and on a more serious note, God forbid a fatal, life changing incident happened to my husband or me where we couldn't be physically intimate as before, though it would be hard, we wouldn't forget what we first fell in love with. We wouldn't forget that we fell in love with each other before we were having sex. I mean imagine falling in love and your not even having sex yet, it's amazing and it definitely does happen to people. I have always had this saying that sex is the cherry on top while the love, marriage is the cake.
    To love someone unconditionally, regardless of what they can offer you is beyond phenomenal. If any guy could truly wait or wants to wait with me, I know that he truly loves me for me as a person and that he doesn't see me as an object or as if it's his own right to have sex with me.

    2) Sorry one was really long, it had many sub points
    I know we have all the protection in the world and that contraceptives are everywhere to avoid pregnancy. But as a woman who has periods and knows she's fertile, even the most effective contraceptive could not 100% avoid pregnancy. I'm not trying to scare any one out there but it's true. Look at the statistics. No contraceptive out there is 100%, there is 99% meaning there is a 1% chance of pregnancy. So for every 100 women, 1 becomes pregnant. Let's compare that to 1 million so from that
    100, 000 women may have experienced unexpected pregnancies from these contraceptives. I do not know if that would be me or not as accidents happen. The only 100% method is abstinence and as I am not ready to be a mother, I'd rather avoid thinking about the possibilities altogether. I already have a panic attack when I miss my periods maybe to stress, imagine if I became sexually active? No thank you, I do not need more things to worry about.

    3) I don't have to deal with worrying about STIs. Now, if you're talking about infections that are not sexually transmitted, yes even virgins experience this but for me personally, sexually transmitted ones...no. I think it is possible for a virgin to catch a STI but not through intercourse, instead through other means. I know many people have cold sores which are actually a type of herpes and if a guy has a cold sore on his lips then performs oral sex on his girlfriend, she could actually get genital herpes even without having sex. But in my case, I'm saying I love not having to worry about that stuff. Like I have said, I see this as extra baggage and unnecessary worry.

    - This point is more of a religious one but I really do not see sex as just a physical action. I think it's spiritual too. Something so intimate, I've heard a saying claiming it's the highest expression and feeling of high two people who love each other could possibly do together and I agree to some extent. Both bodies coming together physically and spiritually is how I see it. I believe we have energies, this is our spirit so as we are sharing such an vulnerable yet intimate side of us with someone else we say we love, it's like almost transferring some of this energy with someone else. The endearment lovers sometimes use is 'my second haf', this analogy comes into my head when thinking about this topic. I know it may sound wippy crazy to some but I'm starting to understand humans and how we are, it actually makes sense.

    - But overall, there are many more reasons why I am waiting. Not because of the statistics that also claims that those who waited had lower percentages of divorce rates (not surprised) but because of the long term effects and considerations. I know how I want my marriage to be like and how I want my husband to view me.
    At the end of the day, it's your own body and I think it's absurd that others are trying to shame you because of your decisions towards sex. Fair enough, if they or others think it's somehow religion controlling women, ok whatever or that we are prudish good for them, they should just not come at others with such rude approaches. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but being respectful is equally important. I don't agree on premarital sex at all, not even just on a religious bases but my own personal views towards sex. It doesn't mean though that I can therefore judge those or shame those who didn't choose to wait. Either way, I think God's way is always best though But I'm here for you if you ever feel alone or just want to chat about how you feel. Other Christians are here for you too, don't back down- stay strong! We're all in this together and we can do it, regardless of what others are saying on this thread, i.e the comment above- it is possible to wait until marriage and have sex.
    On a side note, I think society is over sexualised any way. The amount of power we've given sex is just beyond me and I'm tired of it. I can't begin to explain how proud I am of the men who are deciding to wait too, even with the social pressures and stereotypes. Guys seem to face more hate than the ladies do when it comes to waiting until marriage. Tim Tebow who is an American, football quaterback is a 28, male virgin and he is hot. He's also dated very beautiful women but still keeps true to his beliefs and morals.
    So there are celebrities who are waiting too who I have not listed, male and female who know what you're going through and may have it harder as they are constantly in the public eye. I was speaking to a few guy friends at Christian Union at school even and these are super cute guys but chose to wait. Sadly they have girlfriends (they are waiting too x):/ I wish I met them earlier lol

    But yea, please don't feel alone. We're a community, there are other Christians on here who are equally here for you! It's a shame not all of us got the chance to reach out to you x :hugs:
    Dat formatting. O.o
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    (Original post by Cherry82)
    Hm, I disagree entirely.
    I won't go into much detail as I did previously with my response to the OP
    But it's true that those who are against sex before marriage can find themselves having sex before marriage. I disagree with the 'probably will have sex before marriage' part mainly. Like, we do indeed have control over our bodies; I know you were not saying that we do not but it sounds almost as if we are sex machines ready to fire loose but instead we are repressing this fire or something. No, if you truly know why you are waiting and see the positives, you will wait and fight off the temptation even when things become difficult. I and others are doing so. Religion....
    Well, we are... Passing on our genes is something of an evolutionary impulse. You resist it because of your beliefs.
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    Pray to God for him to help you strengthen your faith.
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    (Original post by Cherry82)
    I'm interested to hear what you mean about this and your views.
    well, it's heteronormative What can you call sex? Many people do not consider something sex unless it involves a man’s penis and a woman’s vagina. By this definition some gay people remain “virgins” their entire lives, as what they do is not actually considered sex. People think a woman's hymen needs to be intact for them to be a virgin, when in fact it naturally stretches and breaks beforehand in many cases, meaning they don't bleed when they 'lose' their virginity and as such you have no way of telling if they are, biologically, a 'virgin'. Also that word 'lose'. I don't think having sex results in me losing anything, or giving anything to someone else. It's not a transaction and you're not getting the rough end of the deal by having consensual sex. You're gaining a connection and hopefully a lot of enjoyment!
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    (Original post by Cherry82)
    Hey,
    I'm a Christian who believes in not having sex before marriage too .

    "My beliefs and life decision in this isnt popular amongst my peers, with many of them making nasty comments such as calling me "frigid" and putting pressure on me. Its also very unpopular with guys; my ex cheated on me and was horrible to me because i woukd not sleep with him.

    I am beginning to feel lonely and like I wont find anyone accepting of my beliefs. So i wondered, if you are a Christian on TSR, how highly do you regard your virginity? Is my belief an old fashioned Christian belief that doesnt fit society? What should I do generally? Any advice would be appreciated.
    I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Oddly enough, I have not instead it's been the other way round for me."

    I apologise on the behalf of those who treated you this way.
    They were wrong for treating you this way and please do not allow peer pressure alter your views. Many of us are still waiting even though it may not seem like it. Compared to those who are not waiting and who are no longer virgins, we are few but if you consider other Christians, even Muslims, and even some atheists who are deciding to wait- we are actually many. I am waiting and I really could not give a damn if someone calls me prudish or anything because I know why I am waiting. Things like that motivate me even more to keep focused on my views because I know what I stand for and what would be gained. People like to think about now, and how things are now but they do not consider the long term goals or where things could go in years from now. Me waiting until marriage is a promise I made to myself because I see the long term advantages. Just waiting for a few years is nothing compared to having a strong foundation in your marriage for many years, a lifetime. Of course there is more to a marriage than sex but you'll see what I mean by this as I explain along.

    So, I'm going to be 18 in a month and I've said to myself, even once I'm at university- I will not allow what's popular to change my views. Apart from religious reasons, there are numerous reasons why people wait until marriage to have sex. As a Christian, I believe it is the correct way to do things as Yahweh said so. But looking away from Christian views:

    1) Waiting until marriage allows me and my partner to purely focus on getting to know each other and working on our relationship. Allowing us to really focus on more important things such as communication. Without fundamentals such having good communication in a relationship, even where sex is involved, the relationship will not last. I feel that there is more to a relationship than just sex. There's something about it, just focusing on getting to know each other and your personalities- you as individuals without distractions. I love that. If a guy could respect that and want that too, we could build a strong foundation of a relationship, focusing on things outside of physical attraction and this is not just a friendship as some may think but a platonic but romantic relationship where you know if your relationship could truly survive if sex was somehow removed from the equation, I know others may think how could you have a platonic, romantic relationship at first but it's definitely possible. Platonic in the sense that you love each other but you are not having sex but it's still romantic because you're attracted to each other sexually so you find other ways to express that energy such as going out on dates, watching a romantic movie or simply just having a deep chat about each other. Something I find so cute that my grandparents did as they waited, they would do everything with each other to really love each other without wanting something in return, I hope I make sense but my grandpa till the day he died did the things they did before they got married and were having sex lol such as painting my grandmother's nails, cuddling together before they went to sleep and she kissing his forehead.
    That kind of relationship blew me away and it's super rare to find.

    But going back to this subject, I would like to be having sex at 60 lol but I know sometimes, with life, at a point things won't be the same which may have an affect on your sex life. Our bodies change, hormones kick in, libidos change and on a more serious note, God forbid a fatal, life changing incident happened to my husband or me where we couldn't be physically intimate as before, though it would be hard, we wouldn't forget what we first fell in love with. We wouldn't forget that we fell in love with each other before we were having sex. I mean imagine falling in love and your not even having sex yet, it's amazing and it definitely does happen to people. I have always had this saying that sex is the cherry on top while the love, marriage is the cake.
    To love someone unconditionally, regardless of what they can offer you is beyond phenomenal. If any guy could truly wait or wants to wait with me, I know that he truly loves me for me as a person and that he doesn't see me as an object or as if it's his own right to have sex with me.

    2) Sorry one was really long, it had many sub points
    I know we have all the protection in the world and that contraceptives are everywhere to avoid pregnancy. But as a woman who has periods and knows she's fertile, even the most effective contraceptive could not 100% avoid pregnancy. I'm not trying to scare any one out there but it's true. Look at the statistics. No contraceptive out there is 100%, there is 99% meaning there is a 1% chance of pregnancy. So for every 100 women, 1 becomes pregnant. Let's compare that to 1 million so from that
    100, 000 women may have experienced unexpected pregnancies from these contraceptives. I do not know if that would be me or not as accidents happen. The only 100% method is abstinence and as I am not ready to be a mother, I'd rather avoid thinking about the possibilities altogether. I already have a panic attack when I miss my periods maybe to stress, imagine if I became sexually active? No thank you, I do not need more things to worry about.

    3) I don't have to deal with worrying about STIs. Now, if you're talking about infections that are not sexually transmitted, yes even virgins experience this but for me personally, sexually transmitted ones...no. I think it is possible for a virgin to catch a STI but not through intercourse, instead through other means. I know many people have cold sores which are actually a type of herpes and if a guy has a cold sore on his lips then performs oral sex on his girlfriend, she could actually get genital herpes even without having sex. But in my case, I'm saying I love not having to worry about that stuff. Like I have said, I see this as extra baggage and unnecessary worry.

    - This point is more of a religious one but I really do not see sex as just a physical action. I think it's spiritual too. Something so intimate, I've heard a saying claiming it's the highest expression and feeling of high two people who love each other could possibly do together and I agree to some extent. Both bodies coming together physically and spiritually is how I see it. I believe we have energies, this is our spirit so as we are sharing such an vulnerable yet intimate side of us with someone else we say we love, it's like almost transferring some of this energy with someone else. The endearment lovers sometimes use is 'my second haf', this analogy comes into my head when thinking about this topic. I know it may sound wippy crazy to some but I'm starting to understand humans and how we are, it actually makes sense.

    - But overall, there are many more reasons why I am waiting. Not because of the statistics that also claims that those who waited had lower percentages of divorce rates (not surprised) but because of the long term effects and considerations. I know how I want my marriage to be like and how I want my husband to view me.
    At the end of the day, it's your own body and I think it's absurd that others are trying to shame you because of your decisions towards sex. Fair enough, if they or others think it's somehow religion controlling women, ok whatever or that we are prudish good for them, they should just not come at others with such rude approaches. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but being respectful is equally important. I don't agree on premarital sex at all, not even just on a religious bases but my own personal views towards sex. It doesn't mean though that I can therefore judge those or shame those who didn't choose to wait. Either way, I think God's way is always best though But I'm here for you if you ever feel alone or just want to chat about how you feel. Other Christians are here for you too, don't back down- stay strong! We're all in this together and we can do it, regardless of what others are saying on this thread, i.e the comment above- it is possible to wait until marriage and have sex.
    On a side note, I think society is over sexualised any way. The amount of power we've given sex is just beyond me and I'm tired of it. I can't begin to explain how proud I am of the men who are deciding to wait too, even with the social pressures and stereotypes. Guys seem to face more hate than the ladies do when it comes to waiting until marriage. Tim Tebow who is an American, football quaterback is a 28, male virgin and he is hot. He's also dated very beautiful women but still keeps true to his beliefs and morals.
    So there are celebrities who are waiting too who I have not listed, male and female who know what you're going through and may have it harder as they are constantly in the public eye. I was speaking to a few guy friends at Christian Union at school even and these are super cute guys but chose to wait. Sadly they have girlfriends (they are waiting too x):/ I wish I met them earlier lol

    But yea, please don't feel alone. We're a community, there are other Christians on here who are equally here for you! It's a shame not all of us got the chance to reach out to you x :hugs:
    To be honest, a lot of this is very contrived and deliberately misleading... :/ (I didn't read it before even though I replied about the formatting.) Christianity doesn't preach premarital abstinence because of STIs and to pretend like that's part of the reason why you have this view is to look like somebody with a weak case hoping to make it strong. It's the strange thing I've seen about a lot of Christians: they simultaneously reject the idea of changing their mind to conform to popular opinion while being subtly defensive and trying to use excuses like STIs to save themselves having to rely on 'because it says so in the Bible.'

    So let's be honest, since this was the real reason, in all of that text, why you believe this, not all the extras you've included to make it a stronger case for abstinence than it is:

    As a Christian, I believe it is the correct way to do things as Yahweh said so.
    Which is a pretty nonsense reason to believe anything in my opinion but, even if you do as is your right to do, at least come clean about it instead of burying it in a lot of text and using reasons like STIs (come on, don't insinuate that anybody who isn't abstinent is riddled or will be riddled with STIs) to justify your view.
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Dat formatting. O.o
    Lol, why thank you.
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    (Original post by william walker)
    toonervoustоtalk

    OP are you Asian by any chance?

    I am a High Church Anglican. What age are you? Things can be hard at school.
    :rofl: William :lol:

    OP i also believe in no sex before marriage
    Sorry to hear about your ex
    I think it would be better to find a guy who shares simillar morals/ beliefs as you.
    I suggest you start praying for your future partner/spouse as cheesy at that sounds but God said take everything to him in prayer
    I have started praying for my future partner/spouse as well
 
 
 
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