My boyfriend and I are going to different universities next week, roughly three hours away from each other for three years (I'm on a four year course but he'll potentially be moving to live with me whilst I finish my final year). We've said we'd see each other as often as possible but I'm unsure whether I could, realistically, travel to see him that often (Financially. He's getting everything paid for by his family plus his maintenance loan whilst I'll be relying just on my loan/grant until I can find a job).
I don't want to break up with him before even trying but I don't want to hold onto something that will potentially end within the first month of uni.
But my main question is, realistically, can a Long distance relationship work? Success stories? Is it worth it?
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Realistically.. Can a long distance relationship work? watch
- Thread Starter
- 16-09-2015 18:41
- 16-09-2015 18:45
Success stories? You must be joking.
The way I see it, relationships at our age are meant to be fun, so you shouldn't take them seriously. If you want to make the mistake of commitment later on, then it's up to you.
IMO it's never worth it.
- 16-09-2015 18:46
I'm certain it can if there is an end goal in sight and you both want it enough. If I got into a relationship with a man I loved, I'd happily do long distance and even see him as little as every few months if it meant I could still be his.
But I suppose that's because I'm not into casual relationships, only long-term serious ones. If one just wants to have fun and not settle down, then I don't think going long distance will work or make you happy. You'd have to be committed and a lot of people don't want that when they are young.Last edited by Maid Marian; 16-09-2015 at 18:51.
- 16-09-2015 18:50
One of my best friends spent 4 years living apart from his girlfriend whilst he was at uni, then another 6 months in the US on a grad scheme. They married last year, so yes it can work.
- 16-09-2015 18:53
Yep definitely can! I met my boyfriend online and we have been together 2 years, and right now are moving in together. I moved away from my home to his, 250 miles away. I'm not properly settled yet and feel slightly homesick as I didn't think it would happen this soon, but I am super excited to be with him every day and to kind of turn over a new leaf. I am getting a new job also so it makes it a bit easier.
Previously, we would see each other at least once a month. It was difficult for me as I was in college and didn't have a job so no money for train tickets and he worked, so found it hard to get a few days off every month to come down to see me. Somehow we made it work though! In the past 6+ months I have pretty much lived with him anyway, as I had finished college and was just looking for employment. IMO it is definitely worth it if it is the person you really want to be with. However, if it wasn't a serious relationship I don't think I would necessarily do it. I get the whole 'you're too young to settle down and be serious etc etc etc' but I'd rather do it now than being in a string of non-serious, short term relationships
Thats my experience anyway. Just do what you think is best. It can be difficult, but is worth it.
- 16-09-2015 18:53
I'm English but live in France and last year my boyfriend left for university in the UK and I stayed in France and it's worked out well! (touch wood!). At the start yes it will be hard but you get used to it and its amazing when you see each other again! I suppose it all depends on how dedicated to the relationship you both are and how long you've already been together for. Me and my boyfriend were together for one and a half years when he left and now its coming up to 3 years together! You just have to do what's right for you, try it and see if it works! Good luck:-)
- 16-09-2015 18:56
Of course it can work, but you need to have a really frank conversation about whether you both feel it will be worth it, how much it will cost to visit etc.
My boyfriend and I survived a 2 year stint of only seeing each other every fortnight, then every weekend (and some random evenings once he got a car) for another year. It was difficult, the travel (2.5 hours, then 45 minutes) was pretty tiring and there were many times when I wondered whether or not it was worth it. But we had been together for 2 years prior to going long-distance, and we were a bit older than you (I'm assuming). Skype makes it slightly more bearable, but I don't think we could have stayed together had we not been able to see each other so often. It was worth it in the end, we're still together and we're finally moving in together next week