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I think my boyfriend cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship watch

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    He wishes to commit an act of disloyalty but may not have yet.

    Decide whether those messages constitute disloyalty and if so judge him inferior and dump him.
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    I have been with my gf for more than 4 years and we would never dream of giving each other passwords or snooping through each other's messages, the only time I see her messages is when she gets a text through on her phone and my point is that it is almost impossible not to read it, which is why you don't exchange passwords: temptation will get the better of you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hi :\ ill explain the story
    I met my boyfriend online the end of february,
    We obviously started off friends but within two weeks of constant talking instantly fell in love with eachother, and told eachother we love eachother mid march.

    Because he lives about 2-2.5hrs away from me (I live in london, him in brighton) we have a Long Distance Relationship. We met in person end of april.

    We've had a lot of struggles from around may-ish to now (september).
    But have resolved a lot of issues and are getting sosososoo much better.

    We have eachothers passwords to things, and we both admit to nothing to hide.
    However i was looking at his facebook messages just because he told me he doesnt speak in a cute way to anyone but me but i suspected he had been with someone else, but i was probably just being dramatic over a lie like that, it still hurt though.

    So i looked at his messages with this girl, hes known for years before me.
    Before he and i met the messages them two shared were very flirty and cutesy and the way he and i speak, which hurts because he told me hes never been cute with anyone like he has with me, but he said word for word the same things to her as he did to me :\
    however that was before he and i met so i kept chill.

    But i saw messages of when he and i had met to her,
    honestly i felt my heart literally shatter.
    He spoke to her just like he spoke to me, as if he was in a relationship with her... this was whilst he was in a relationship with me but before he met me in person.
    He told her he wanted to touch her and kiss her MID APRIL
    A month after admitting his endless love for me... Around two weeks before we met in person.
    There were a lot more messages,
    him telling her shes the most beautiful girl (which he said to me)
    she has the most beautiful smile and should always be smiling (which he said to me)

    I just feel like a second choice because this girl lives overseas and i lived nearer so he settled for me :\
    I feel heartbroken, that ive wasted my time on someone whos lied to me about those things, ive never had anyone treat me as nice as he has, but it seems im not the only girl he treated that way whilst in a relationship with me :\

    Im torn apart...

    I havent told him yet but i cant even look at him or talk to him and not think about 'im just another girl' 'im no one special', and all these thoughts :\

    I dont know if i have the right to feel cheated on, ive already asked some helpful people and they said yes, idk if i want to stay with him anymore despite all our hard work into making this relationship work with the distance and all :\

    I dont know what to do or what to feel and i dont even know how i feel about him anymore ._.

    Im gonna talk to him about it in a few days when im staying at his but idk if i wanna end it or work things out etc.

    Also his chat with this girl he deleted bc i started asking him if hes only spoken to me that way, to which he lied :\

    Hes always been so sweet and kind and the most caring person ive ever had in my life, and losing me would destroy him bc hes really fragile with our relationship and hes tried so hard to also make it work with the distance and stuff.

    If you need to ask anything feel free

    Right now i just need this help more than anything, ive never felt this crushed and shattered and broken before... please please please help ;-;
    Thank you soo much ;-; <3
    You have no right to look through his messages mate.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hi :\ ill explain the story
    I met my boyfriend online the end of february,
    We obviously started off friends but within two weeks of constant talking instantly fell in love with eachother, and told eachother we love eachother mid march.

    Because he lives about 2-2.5hrs away from me (I live in london, him in brighton) we have a Long Distance Relationship. We met in person end of april.

    We've had a lot of struggles from around may-ish to now (september).
    But have resolved a lot of issues and are getting sosososoo much better.

    We have eachothers passwords to things, and we both admit to nothing to hide.
    However i was looking at his facebook messages just because he told me he doesnt speak in a cute way to anyone but me but i suspected he had been with someone else, but i was probably just being dramatic over a lie like that, it still hurt though.

    So i looked at his messages with this girl, hes known for years before me.
    Before he and i met the messages them two shared were very flirty and cutesy and the way he and i speak, which hurts because he told me hes never been cute with anyone like he has with me, but he said word for word the same things to her as he did to me :\
    however that was before he and i met so i kept chill.

    But i saw messages of when he and i had met to her,
    honestly i felt my heart literally shatter.
    He spoke to her just like he spoke to me, as if he was in a relationship with her... this was whilst he was in a relationship with me but before he met me in person.
    He told her he wanted to touch her and kiss her MID APRIL
    A month after admitting his endless love for me... Around two weeks before we met in person.
    There were a lot more messages,
    him telling her shes the most beautiful girl (which he said to me)
    she has the most beautiful smile and should always be smiling (which he said to me)

    I just feel like a second choice because this girl lives overseas and i lived nearer so he settled for me :\
    I feel heartbroken, that ive wasted my time on someone whos lied to me about those things, ive never had anyone treat me as nice as he has, but it seems im not the only girl he treated that way whilst in a relationship with me :\

    Im torn apart...

    I havent told him yet but i cant even look at him or talk to him and not think about 'im just another girl' 'im no one special', and all these thoughts :\

    I dont know if i have the right to feel cheated on, ive already asked some helpful people and they said yes, idk if i want to stay with him anymore despite all our hard work into making this relationship work with the distance and all :\

    I dont know what to do or what to feel and i dont even know how i feel about him anymore ._.

    Im gonna talk to him about it in a few days when im staying at his but idk if i wanna end it or work things out etc.

    Also his chat with this girl he deleted bc i started asking him if hes only spoken to me that way, to which he lied :\

    Hes always been so sweet and kind and the most caring person ive ever had in my life, and losing me would destroy him bc hes really fragile with our relationship and hes tried so hard to also make it work with the distance and stuff.

    If you need to ask anything feel free

    Right now i just need this help more than anything, ive never felt this crushed and shattered and broken before... please please please help ;-;
    Thank you soo much ;-; <3
    Firstly, it really isn't healthy to have each others passwords, and look through each others stuff etc. I know it's tempting, but you really shouldn't do it. I'd suggest you refrain from doing so in the future.

    It sounds like he was keeping his options open, which is understandable, albeit not the nicest thing to do. I suggest you either confront him about it, or just live with it. If you confront him, then see how he responds and then base your decision on that.
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    What's with the random bolding? I thought you were bolding significant points so I could tl;dr the wall of text but bolding "before he and I met" disproves that theory. hmmm...

    Onto my actual point, having eachother's passwords is dumb af fam
 
 
 
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