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Is it wrong to NEED someone?

What if someone touches you profoundly and you decide you need them? Is this psychologically unhealthy or a healthy human bonding tendency?

Also how does one get over unrequited longing?

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Reply 1

Danny the Geezer

Needing someone is desperate. It's like a drug, really, and unhealthy.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

jaydoh

Needing someone is desperate. It's like a drug, really, and unhealthy.

But can you imagine how dull it would be if no-one made you feel that?

Reply 3

Danny the Geezer

Yeah, but how long before the "novelty" wears off?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

jaydoh

Yeah, but how long before the "novelty" wears off?

Believe me, if it's real love, it takes quite a while

Reply 5

Danny the Geezer

Yes, but how long before that dependency feeling withers and you're left with just plain love?

Reply 6

ßlαcksωαn

It's not wrong, but just be careful about "want" and "need"

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

jaydoh

Yes, but how long before that dependency feeling withers and you're left with just plain love?

Oh I don't know. I just know if it's unrequited then you want their presence. And love is sweeter than lust too.

Reply 8

King Hippo

jaydoh

Yes, but how long before that dependency feeling withers and you're left with just plain love?

For me though there's no such thing as "plain love". Love is always a special thing, and loving someone & needing someone aren't necessarily seperate things in my book.

The way I see it, if you love someone you'd do anything for them and can't do without them... therefore you need them. It's not unhealthy, it's the ultimate compliment when someone thinks you're so important that they can't do without you.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

King Hippo

The way I see it, if you love someone you'd do anything for them and can't do without them... therefore you need them. It's not unhealthy, it's the ultimate compliment when someone thinks you're so important that they can't do without you.

Nice sentiments, thanks mate.

Reply 10

LisaPizza

In my eyes you only NEED water, shelter, warmth food. You do not NEED another person.

Reply 11

sophiefluff

Feeling like you need someone if they need you can be a pleasant experience. But I felt like that with my ex of two weeks.

At first I felt like hell as if it was impossible to deal with, but then it became sort of refreshing to be on my own and to be responsible for myself. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

LisaPizza

In my eyes you only NEED water, shelter, warmth food. You do not NEED another person.

Maybe you're slightly complacent there, and you haven't come across true love

Reply 13

Dragon Warrior

*hmmm* to need another person i think is great and one day i hope i'll feel that way, but only if the feeling is returned, otherwise things can become very hurtful. i also agree that it's the greatest compilment you can give to someone you love.

Reply 14

Unregistered

To need is parasitic.

To want is far more healthy. If you need somebody then you have a few personal issues that ought to be resolved, though don't confuse wanting and needing.

True love is about wanting someone not needing them. I would let my fiance go if I thought he'd be happier with someone else. I'd want him but I could function and live without him.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Well perhaps I meant want really. But really, REALLY want

Reply 16

ßlαcksωαn

Anonymous

Maybe you're slightly complacent there, and you haven't come across true love

I agree

Reply 17

Unregistered

blackswan

I agree

I don't. If you can't survive without another human you are a parasite. You can be mourful of losing them and never happy again because you miss them and want them to be around. But their being in your life is not central to your survival. Such is need.

True love is not about need, it's about vast amounts of wanting and unparalleled affection. Those who can't survive without someone they love are far too dependant due to a charachter flaw.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Timeslikethese

You can be mourful of losing them and never happy again because you miss them and want them to be around.

Well that's pretty much what I'm describing

Reply 19

Seoid

I feel like I need my fiance, but not in the sense that I could never live without him. What I mean by need is that he's now an essential part of my life and I don't feel complete without him - I need his love, his reassurance, his hugs and kisses, I don't just want them. Needing someone is an integral part of love in my view - there is such thing as a healthy need and it doesn't have to be clingy or possessive. For example I don't need to be around my fiance 24/7, or need to know where he is all the time, I just need his presence to make me feel happy.

It's not wrong to need someone - I feel also like I need my mum, and that if and when she dies I'll feel a huge gap in my life that'll never be filled. Saying to someone that you need them is a huge compliment I think because it means they are truly important to you and play a significant role in your life.