Drifting from uni friends - anyone else?
i'm starting year 2 now and to be honest I don't feel like I'm a part of my friendship group that I have been in since the start of uni.
We are a group of about 8 or 9. To be completely honest there's 1 or 2 people in the group who for whatever reason have always disliked me, and vice versa similarly. I can't put my finger on it but it's really awkward and pretend we are chums because we are in the same group, but really there's no bond or connection between us and I can feel they don't take any interest in me. They are just immature and have some issue with me.
I also feel like these people have connected more with a couple others in the group who tend to stick with them more often than not. 1 of the group is dropping out of uni. That leaves me with 2/3 others who I get on with but the group doesn't feel like it used to be. People now live in separate housing etc
But the way my uni is, it is terrible socially. Difficult to meet new people here.
Anyways whenever I think about it it just annoys me. I can't be bothered faking it with some and having to be around it all.
Did others find this at uni?
We are a group of about 8 or 9. To be completely honest there's 1 or 2 people in the group who for whatever reason have always disliked me, and vice versa similarly. I can't put my finger on it but it's really awkward and pretend we are chums because we are in the same group, but really there's no bond or connection between us and I can feel they don't take any interest in me. They are just immature and have some issue with me.
I also feel like these people have connected more with a couple others in the group who tend to stick with them more often than not. 1 of the group is dropping out of uni. That leaves me with 2/3 others who I get on with but the group doesn't feel like it used to be. People now live in separate housing etc
But the way my uni is, it is terrible socially. Difficult to meet new people here.
Anyways whenever I think about it it just annoys me. I can't be bothered faking it with some and having to be around it all.
Did others find this at uni?
Original post by VergeofInsanity
i'm starting year 2 now and to be honest I don't feel like I'm a part of my friendship group that I have been in since the start of uni.
We are a group of about 8 or 9. To be completely honest there's 1 or 2 people in the group who for whatever reason have always disliked me, and vice versa similarly. I can't put my finger on it but it's really awkward and pretend we are chums because we are in the same group, but really there's no bond or connection between us and I can feel they don't take any interest in me. They are just immature and have some issue with me.
I also feel like these people have connected more with a couple others in the group who tend to stick with them more often than not. 1 of the group is dropping out of uni. That leaves me with 2/3 others who I get on with but the group doesn't feel like it used to be. People now live in separate housing etc
But the way my uni is, it is terrible socially. Difficult to meet new people here.
Anyways whenever I think about it it just annoys me. I can't be bothered faking it with some and having to be around it all.
Did others find this at uni?
We are a group of about 8 or 9. To be completely honest there's 1 or 2 people in the group who for whatever reason have always disliked me, and vice versa similarly. I can't put my finger on it but it's really awkward and pretend we are chums because we are in the same group, but really there's no bond or connection between us and I can feel they don't take any interest in me. They are just immature and have some issue with me.
I also feel like these people have connected more with a couple others in the group who tend to stick with them more often than not. 1 of the group is dropping out of uni. That leaves me with 2/3 others who I get on with but the group doesn't feel like it used to be. People now live in separate housing etc
But the way my uni is, it is terrible socially. Difficult to meet new people here.
Anyways whenever I think about it it just annoys me. I can't be bothered faking it with some and having to be around it all.
Did others find this at uni?
m8 get ur degree an fk em
Original post by VergeofInsanity
i'm starting year 2 now and to be honest I don't feel like I'm a part of my friendship group that I have been in since the start of uni.
We are a group of about 8 or 9. To be completely honest there's 1 or 2 people in the group who for whatever reason have always disliked me, and vice versa similarly. I can't put my finger on it but it's really awkward and pretend we are chums because we are in the same group, but really there's no bond or connection between us and I can feel they don't take any interest in me. They are just immature and have some issue with me.
I also feel like these people have connected more with a couple others in the group who tend to stick with them more often than not. 1 of the group is dropping out of uni. That leaves me with 2/3 others who I get on with but the group doesn't feel like it used to be. People now live in separate housing etc
But the way my uni is, it is terrible socially. Difficult to meet new people here.
Anyways whenever I think about it it just annoys me. I can't be bothered faking it with some and having to be around it all.
Did others find this at uni?
We are a group of about 8 or 9. To be completely honest there's 1 or 2 people in the group who for whatever reason have always disliked me, and vice versa similarly. I can't put my finger on it but it's really awkward and pretend we are chums because we are in the same group, but really there's no bond or connection between us and I can feel they don't take any interest in me. They are just immature and have some issue with me.
I also feel like these people have connected more with a couple others in the group who tend to stick with them more often than not. 1 of the group is dropping out of uni. That leaves me with 2/3 others who I get on with but the group doesn't feel like it used to be. People now live in separate housing etc
But the way my uni is, it is terrible socially. Difficult to meet new people here.
Anyways whenever I think about it it just annoys me. I can't be bothered faking it with some and having to be around it all.
Did others find this at uni?
Which uni is this?
Original post by Dark Elixir
Which uni is this?
lol why did i get this weird feeling someone would ask. whenever i say uni in a thread someone asks. i don't think it matters pal. but if it makes you happy LSE
Original post by VergeofInsanity
lol why did i get this weird feeling someone would ask. whenever i say uni in a thread someone asks. i don't think it matters pal. but if it makes you happy LSE
No, I was just checking that it wasn't the university I will be starting at (I don't want to be going to an unsocial uni
)Also, I found myself in a similar position to you whilst I was in sixth form, there was about 8 of us in this close-knit and established group and then one person came along and sort of befriended my best friend. For some unknown reason I never really liked this kid and he never really liked me. Since sixth form has finished, I have been completely excluded from group activities (not invited) because he is the one who coordinates all of that stuff. He has even formed a new group chat and not invited me in
. I still see my friends from that group individually, when he's not around. It's weird how you can just automatically not like someone without any kind of reasoning.(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Dark Elixir
No, I was just checking that it wasn't the university I will be starting at (I don't want to be going to an unsocial uni )
Also, I found myself in a similar position to you whilst I was in sixth form, there was about 8 of us in this close-knit and established group and then one person came along and sort of befriended my best friend. For some unknown reason I never really liked this kid and he never really liked me. Since sixth form has finished, I have been completely excluded from group activities (not invited) because he is the one who coordinates all of that stuff. He has even formed a new group chat and not invited me in. I still see my friends from that group individually, when he's not around. It's weird how you can just automatically not like someone without any kind of reasoning.
)Also, I found myself in a similar position to you whilst I was in sixth form, there was about 8 of us in this close-knit and established group and then one person came along and sort of befriended my best friend. For some unknown reason I never really liked this kid and he never really liked me. Since sixth form has finished, I have been completely excluded from group activities (not invited) because he is the one who coordinates all of that stuff. He has even formed a new group chat and not invited me in
. I still see my friends from that group individually, when he's not around. It's weird how you can just automatically not like someone without any kind of reasoning.yee similar to mine. fricking annoying but oh well. guess it's time to move on.
Hey there. I feel your pain. I changed universities twice so when I settled in this current one, I preferred to live in my own apartment since the beginning of uni and that's why I was scared I wouldn't have friends, so I befriended a few people from my course, all of them international students from the same country.
The thing is, they are very childish considering the fact that despite me being only 20, all of my friends in my country are in their late 20s and the ones in uni act childish.
What differentiates my situation is that these people are very good and loving so I am not sure if I can completely let go of them, but sometimes I just feel trapped and very lonely. And this is the case even though I've tried joining many societies (I'm not really shy) but didn't like the people in any of them+ they'd already been close with each other for some time.
So this year (second year) I am planning to do a lot of things outside the university like going to language courses & starting meditation at the buddhist centre (I am atheist but still...lol), do a lot of travelling alone and go on uni trips although I don't know anyone there, visit the local arts centre for plays & workshops and join the skydiving club!
I hope this is helpful, I want to say that you are not alone! But it is in our hands to reverse our lives if we are not happy with it
The thing is, they are very childish considering the fact that despite me being only 20, all of my friends in my country are in their late 20s and the ones in uni act childish.
What differentiates my situation is that these people are very good and loving so I am not sure if I can completely let go of them, but sometimes I just feel trapped and very lonely. And this is the case even though I've tried joining many societies (I'm not really shy) but didn't like the people in any of them+ they'd already been close with each other for some time.
So this year (second year) I am planning to do a lot of things outside the university like going to language courses & starting meditation at the buddhist centre (I am atheist but still...lol), do a lot of travelling alone and go on uni trips although I don't know anyone there, visit the local arts centre for plays & workshops and join the skydiving club!
I hope this is helpful, I want to say that you are not alone! But it is in our hands to reverse our lives if we are not happy with it
It sounds like you've outgrown them? Though I wouldn't cut all ties with them, just because you're living with them, but maybe don't make them the centre of your friendships. Join societies, get involved, go to the bar a lot, volunteer or join some committee just to get out there are meet some new people and hopefully veer away from these others plus if you're meeting new people it sounds like those ones that you don't like will just get clingy together and once you have your new friends they might not bother you so much
plus if you're meeting new people it sounds like those ones that you don't like will just get clingy together and once you have your new friends they might not bother you so muchMate you're studying in London!! There's millions of people outside of uni you could meet, try a weekend job for event staffing companies or work at a local pub, there's always young people working there!
Yes it sucks if group dynamics change and it hurts, but try to focus on meeting people elsewhere. Be confident, I'm sure you're a great person to be around. Btw, the most confident and loud people are usually those that are not that confident at all but learned to be outgoing nevertheless.
So I would say that you just deepen your friendships with those 2-3 people you like, forget those that you have that mutual dislike with and do activities in or out of uni to meet new cool people that don't just pretend that they like you. Some people just don't get on with each other, that's just the way it is.
Good luck, you can definitely do this! (self-pity is also my biggest enemy)
Yes it sucks if group dynamics change and it hurts, but try to focus on meeting people elsewhere. Be confident, I'm sure you're a great person to be around. Btw, the most confident and loud people are usually those that are not that confident at all but learned to be outgoing nevertheless.
So I would say that you just deepen your friendships with those 2-3 people you like, forget those that you have that mutual dislike with and do activities in or out of uni to meet new cool people that don't just pretend that they like you. Some people just don't get on with each other, that's just the way it is.
Good luck, you can definitely do this! (self-pity is also my biggest enemy)
Most people who you meet at uni are just drinking friends, or friends out of convenience. Half of my 'group' at uni I knew virtually nothing about, never spoke to them and only saw them when we were going out.
When I was seriously injured in hospital and not one person bothered to visit me, I just decided **** them and made new friends from work. I didn't cut all ties with them, but I didn't make a huge effort with them either.
That's not to say you won't make close friends, my best friend was in that group and we're still as close as friends can be despite living on opposite ends of the country. Just don't be surprised that you inevitably drift away from people.
To be honest most people you meet in life are temporary as friendships are usually based on shared experiences, unless you're close. Just focus on those closest to you, everyone else is replaceable.
When I was seriously injured in hospital and not one person bothered to visit me, I just decided **** them and made new friends from work. I didn't cut all ties with them, but I didn't make a huge effort with them either.
That's not to say you won't make close friends, my best friend was in that group and we're still as close as friends can be despite living on opposite ends of the country. Just don't be surprised that you inevitably drift away from people.
To be honest most people you meet in life are temporary as friendships are usually based on shared experiences, unless you're close. Just focus on those closest to you, everyone else is replaceable.
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