Being Upfront? Honest? Foolish?

(Generic person wants to tell other person they 'like' them post)

There is somebody I've gotten to know over the last few months at Uni, someone who really interests me and that I would like to get to know more on a personal level, yes I'm attracted to them as well but also trying to construct a professional relationship at the same time. I'll admit it feels like I hardly know them, but I know I have a habit of being the sort of person who makes it hard for people to be their friends due to being quite socially awkward and such, so part of me just wants to tell this person that they interest me.

Would it be considered weird or odd if I just told them? If I just said that they interest me, I like them and would like to get to know them better whatever that means, even if it is just as a friend in the end?

I feel like the general answer will be to try and get to know them some more, I'd just want them to know about my interest, I'd understand if they weren't, infact to myself, the scariest thing for them to say would be that they are interested too, I wouldn't know what my next step would be, but I want to be honest about why I find it hard to talk to them and that they interest me, whatever that means, I want to take a leap, because of how interesting I find them.

x

I'm going through a similar thing OP. I'm female (not sure what gender you are?), a bit socially awkward and I'm in the position of really liking a guy. I don't want to just sit down looking pretty my whole life waiting for him to initiate as he has never dated before so I think he may have some shyness about that too and I'm also scared that he could be snapped up at any minute by another girl. I do feel like I should be open and express and interest in getting to know him better and individually (we are part of a friendship group) but I too am struggling with whether I should do it or not, and if so how? I don't think there is any easy answer about how to express but some are certainly more clever than others...

In my view there is the direct and the indirect approach. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Direct 'I like you' etc. delivers the message straight, is honest and perhaps best of all is fast so you know where you stand. The danger of course is that it can freak the other person out and take them by surprise. When it comes to direct I think 'do you like me?' is a better method because it puts them on the spot and if they say no you can just laugh it off and says you heard a rumour etc. and that you are pleased to dispell it and that you now feel more comfortable rather than it being a confession of yours. If they say yes you can then ask 'what are we going to do about it then?'

Indirect is much more broad which of course makes it more complicated and time consuming (weeks, months?) but can also be very clever, less likely to arouse suspicion and easier to redeem one's self if you are sensitive to rejection (I know I certainly am). For me this is the route I am taking at least in the beginning to try and observe and get to know him a little. What you mentioned, getting to know the person a little better is great. The thing with an indirect approach though is that it is very much situational so I would have to know more about the circumstances in which you are around each other. You mentioned something about a professional relationship also, in which case perhaps you could ask the other person to explain something they have an area of expertise in, offer to buy them a coffee/lunch (make it casual) and let them explain away. At the end offer gratitude, say you now have a lot of insight from it and thank them following with a variation 'Thanks so much for taking the time out, you seem cool we should get to know each other better, sorry that I'm always so busy with my head in the book/work! We need to take some time out to relax or else we will go mad! *laugh*'. Just make it light hearted and funny.

It's up to you to weigh out the risks and the benefits and pick which one, if any at all. In an case you need to isolate this person into spending time with just you, that is the first step.

This is going to sound crazy but I really recommend a book called 'the art of seduction' by Robert Greene. Now I'm not suggesting you follow the book word for word as a lot of what is in it is very cruel and manipulative. But from it you can learn a lot and discern more about the other person works and what motivates them, what they fear and what they crave, which may give an idea of how approach successfully or plant a seed in them which will have them wanting to approach you.