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social networking vs being honestly social
Hey. I'm a guy. And I'm writing because I must express my mixed feelings about all this "social networking" I've been seeing around ever since I'm attending university.
I don't mean those online websites (which are - in my humble opinion - yet another boring phenomenon), but the constant role-playing of all people pretending to be nice and friendly for the sake of knitting better personal connections that might award them with free entrances to nightclubs and - in the future - to the job market.
Deep inside I somehow have the feeling that this social networking is the first step to becoming a corporate whore; but it may be true only in my personal case since a great part of my current university environment is aiming at that direction...
Anyway, I'm noticing this because I myself am somehow involved (trapped?) in the "social scene".
I know that many people started looking at me like a "social networking god" from the very first days (they told me, people from both my own classes, and even higher class students, at parties, etc.).
I smile at everyone, I chat with everyone, I remember everyone, I do many things together with new people.
But in a different way from actual "social networking", I think.
Personally, I have always loved people as human beings (in a fraternal sense), I like making friends because I want to discover how other people think, where they come from... I'm interested in them.
Not in what opportunities they might offer me!
I feel as if I'm in a kind of value conflict ever since my natural spontaneity with people is somehow being "retranslated" into an opportunistic "skill" within a social hierarchy.
I feel as if everyone is literally competing to increase the number of their friends or acquaintanceships. As if it's a matter of life or death.
I want to keep knowing new people... but social networking in the sense of hunting for job/discount opportunities is boring, and actually not so fraternal in my view.
I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just confused
What do you think?
I don't mean those online websites (which are - in my humble opinion - yet another boring phenomenon), but the constant role-playing of all people pretending to be nice and friendly for the sake of knitting better personal connections that might award them with free entrances to nightclubs and - in the future - to the job market.
Deep inside I somehow have the feeling that this social networking is the first step to becoming a corporate whore; but it may be true only in my personal case since a great part of my current university environment is aiming at that direction...
Anyway, I'm noticing this because I myself am somehow involved (trapped?) in the "social scene".
I know that many people started looking at me like a "social networking god" from the very first days (they told me, people from both my own classes, and even higher class students, at parties, etc.).
I smile at everyone, I chat with everyone, I remember everyone, I do many things together with new people.
But in a different way from actual "social networking", I think.
Personally, I have always loved people as human beings (in a fraternal sense), I like making friends because I want to discover how other people think, where they come from... I'm interested in them.
Not in what opportunities they might offer me!
I feel as if I'm in a kind of value conflict ever since my natural spontaneity with people is somehow being "retranslated" into an opportunistic "skill" within a social hierarchy.
I feel as if everyone is literally competing to increase the number of their friends or acquaintanceships. As if it's a matter of life or death.
I want to keep knowing new people... but social networking in the sense of hunting for job/discount opportunities is boring, and actually not so fraternal in my view.
I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just confused
What do you think?
Reply 2
Anonymous
Hey. I'm a guy. And I'm writing because I must express my mixed feelings about all this "social networking" I've been seeing around ever since I'm attending university.
I don't mean those online websites (which are - in my humble opinion - yet another boring phenomenon), but the constant role-playing of all people pretending to be nice and friendly for the sake of knitting better personal connections that might award them with free entrances to nightclubs and - in the future - to the job market.
Deep inside I somehow have the feeling that this social networking is the first step to becoming a corporate whore; but it may be true only in my personal case since a great part of my current university environment is aiming at that direction...
Anyway, I'm noticing this because I myself am somehow involved (trapped?) in the "social scene".
I know that many people started looking at me like a "social networking god" from the very first days (they told me, people from both my own classes, and even higher class students, at parties, etc.).
I smile at everyone, I chat with everyone, I remember everyone, I do many things together with new people.
But in a different way from actual "social networking", I think.
Personally, I have always loved people as human beings (in a fraternal sense), I like making friends because I want to discover how other people think, where they come from... I'm interested in them.
Not in what opportunities they might offer me!
I feel as if I'm in a kind of value conflict ever since my natural spontaneity with people is somehow being "retranslated" into an opportunistic "skill" within a social hierarchy.
I feel as if everyone is literally competing to increase the number of their friends or acquaintanceships. As if it's a matter of life or death.
I want to keep knowing new people... but social networking in the sense of hunting for job/discount opportunities is boring, and actually not so fraternal in my view.
I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just confused
What do you think?
I don't mean those online websites (which are - in my humble opinion - yet another boring phenomenon), but the constant role-playing of all people pretending to be nice and friendly for the sake of knitting better personal connections that might award them with free entrances to nightclubs and - in the future - to the job market.
Deep inside I somehow have the feeling that this social networking is the first step to becoming a corporate whore; but it may be true only in my personal case since a great part of my current university environment is aiming at that direction...
Anyway, I'm noticing this because I myself am somehow involved (trapped?) in the "social scene".
I know that many people started looking at me like a "social networking god" from the very first days (they told me, people from both my own classes, and even higher class students, at parties, etc.).
I smile at everyone, I chat with everyone, I remember everyone, I do many things together with new people.
But in a different way from actual "social networking", I think.
Personally, I have always loved people as human beings (in a fraternal sense), I like making friends because I want to discover how other people think, where they come from... I'm interested in them.
Not in what opportunities they might offer me!
I feel as if I'm in a kind of value conflict ever since my natural spontaneity with people is somehow being "retranslated" into an opportunistic "skill" within a social hierarchy.
I feel as if everyone is literally competing to increase the number of their friends or acquaintanceships. As if it's a matter of life or death.
I want to keep knowing new people... but social networking in the sense of hunting for job/discount opportunities is boring, and actually not so fraternal in my view.
I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just confused
What do you think?
I think this networking business is for complete Arseholes. It really is the worst kind of American bull**** that's invading our society from every angle
Reply 3
yeah i wouldnt worry about it
your sincere and they arent. doesnt mean you have to stop enjoying people
your sincere and they arent. doesnt mean you have to stop enjoying people
If you don't want to suck up to people, don't. I might smile at people. I chat to randoms, crappy people, real people. I remember **** all about them. Might ask their name a few times in a conversation if I'm really interested in them.
Basically, I do this because I want to. I'd rather not sit there bored, I'll chat to some random on the bus instead. Don't feel like you have to be nice to people. If you don't want to be nice, don't be nice. If you feel like saying something, say it.
I also feel like the social networking crap is, well, crap. And as people have probably noticed, I subscribe to being (brutally) honest. And am doing better for it.
Basically, I do this because I want to. I'd rather not sit there bored, I'll chat to some random on the bus instead. Don't feel like you have to be nice to people. If you don't want to be nice, don't be nice. If you feel like saying something, say it.
I also feel like the social networking crap is, well, crap. And as people have probably noticed, I subscribe to being (brutally) honest. And am doing better for it.
I think that as a 'friends competition' social networking is cow poo (
) and for people who have no other reason to have friends, but for certain job markets it is essential. I want to be a lawyer as well so am having to 'social network' a bit already. But with jobs it isn't so bad because it isn't so fake. Everyone knows what the situation is: If I'm nice to you, I'm hoping you'll get me a training contract! There is noone disappointed, because everyone gets something out of it.
) and for people who have no other reason to have friends, but for certain job markets it is essential. I want to be a lawyer as well so am having to 'social network' a bit already. But with jobs it isn't so bad because it isn't so fake. Everyone knows what the situation is: If I'm nice to you, I'm hoping you'll get me a training contract! There is noone disappointed, because everyone gets something out of it.Reply 6
Yoda, I'm a bit like you. I talk to strangers on the bus, start chatting with beggars... just out of curiosity... or just to bring some sunshine and laughter into life. Or learn something new.
Generally, I am nice to people out of entirely personal (philosophical?) motivations
I smile even when I'm alone. I believe that "good" can be done in the world. Let's say I'm a social optimist/philanthropist kind of person... or at least, that's where my roots are.
What I find uncomfortable of this "social networking" is that people don't seem genuinely nice. They expect a reward, as pinkpinkuk pointed out
As if it's part of the career itself.
I find it a bit misleading (roleplaying) when people start treating me like a God with all sorts of compliments and then sneakishly hint "...and let me know if you find out about any new internship offers..." -_-
It's funny (sad) especially when the flattery comes from people who previously used to be not so kind towards you (people I knew before entering university).
In such cases I find it hard to evaluate whether it's my personal growth ("Wow, I'm helping to make the world a better place!") and I am genuinely becoming a "better person"... or whether I'm simply a pawn for job hunting purposes.
Generally, I am nice to people out of entirely personal (philosophical?) motivations
I smile even when I'm alone. I believe that "good" can be done in the world. Let's say I'm a social optimist/philanthropist kind of person... or at least, that's where my roots are.What I find uncomfortable of this "social networking" is that people don't seem genuinely nice. They expect a reward, as pinkpinkuk pointed out
As if it's part of the career itself.
I find it a bit misleading (roleplaying) when people start treating me like a God with all sorts of compliments and then sneakishly hint "...and let me know if you find out about any new internship offers..." -_-
It's funny (sad) especially when the flattery comes from people who previously used to be not so kind towards you (people I knew before entering university).
In such cases I find it hard to evaluate whether it's my personal growth ("Wow, I'm helping to make the world a better place!") and I am genuinely becoming a "better person"... or whether I'm simply a pawn for job hunting purposes.
Reply 7
I'm exactly like you, and I have exactly the same feelings about "networking" That makes 2 of us 
I am nice to most people but only because I actually like them (much like you, I admire people in general) and want to get to know them. I am always sincere and honest and I hope it doesn't come across like being fake for the sake of building connexions.
That makes 2 of us I am nice to most people but only because I actually like them (much like you, I admire people in general) and want to get to know them. I am always sincere and honest and I hope it doesn't come across like being fake for the sake of building connexions.
naivesincerity
I think this networking business is for complete Arseholes. It really is the worst kind of American bull**** that's invading our society from every angle
Interesting thread, but I'm struggling to understand how social networking is American. Maybe you've made the link between social networking and ambition? Since living in the UK I have noticed a general distaste for "unclassy" and stereotypically American ambitiousness. Better than the stereotypically British apathy though, although it could be that I only think that because I'm American.
And maybe it is because I'm American, but I don't think there's really all that much wrong with social networking (as long as it's obvious to all parties involved that that's what's going on). Hmm ...
Reply 9
dede
Better than the stereotypically British apathy though, although it could be that I only think that because I'm American.
.
.
What stereotypical apathy? That's crap
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