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He may walk

Been with my boyfriend for 2 years, haven't slept with him not that I don't trust him just got psychological issues which I need to chat someone about. Am finding it hard to find a decent graduate job and am stuck at my part time job.

I have mentioned about doing a PGCE and he doesn't think he can stick around till a year and half's time :eek:

I was shocked, I know the sex thing is ridiculous and may have something to do with it but the PGCE would help my career etc and he sees it as shying away from work for another year. I found out his mate thinks the same about his girlfriend who has gone back to college at 27. Their excuses are that they will jack in their girlfriends for not having full time jobs as they cannot provide stability for commitment.

I am so angry as it comes across as these guys will jack in their girlfriends for someone with more money.

Reply 1

Vohamanah

16

Hmm this is an interesting one for me because I'm kind of seeing the other side at the moment :s-smilie:

(I must not emphasise no the sex bit, just the job bit)

My boyfriend graduated a year ago and has not made ANY effort to get a job. Neither has he signed on for benefits or anything. He is surviving on handouts from his (generous) parents. Now he's considering taking a postgrad course and I feel totally exasperated. It seems to me like he's just trying to avoid getting a job.

But we come from very different backgrounds. He knows his parents will support him for as long as he wants, whereas my parents will expect me to get a job and support myself as soon as I can. I will by no means break up with him over it, but I can understand the frustration.

Thing is its not very nice to be the breadwinner (I don't know if your boyfriend works or not...?) I certainly don't like it when I come home from working absolutely knackered and find my boyfriend has slept all morning, done some reading, then watched neighbours. :s-smilie:

Maybe he just wants you to appreciate what he does and maybe he is even jealous of you being able to do a postgrad course rather than enter the real world?

Reply 2

Riddy

pinkpinkuk

Hmm this is an interesting one for me because I'm kind of seeing the other side at the moment :s-smilie:

(I must not emphasise no the sex bit, just the job bit)

My boyfriend graduated a year ago and has not made ANY effort to get a job. Neither has he signed on for benefits or anything. He is surviving on handouts from his (generous) parents. Now he's considering taking a postgrad course and I feel totally exasperated. It seems to me like he's just trying to avoid getting a job.

But we come from very different backgrounds. He knows his parents will support him for as long as he wants, whereas my parents will expect me to get a job and support myself as soon as I can. I will by no means break up with him over it, but I can understand the frustration.

Thing is its not very nice to be the breadwinner (I don't know if your boyfriend works or not...?) I certainly don't like it when I come home from working absolutely knackered and find my boyfriend has slept all morning, done some reading, then watched neighbours. :s-smilie:

Maybe he just wants you to appreciate what he does and maybe he is even jealous of you being able to do a postgrad course rather than enter the real world?

How old is your boyfriend? He's graduated from University right what subject has he got? It can be hard to find a job which is equal to your qualification in some subjects but still he could be doing voluntary work or something.

Reply 3

Vohamanah

16

He's going to be 23 next week. Has has a degree in English and American Literature and no desire to get a job, even in the distant future :smile:

Reply 4

Nix!

11

pinkpinkuk

He's going to be 23 next week. Has has a degree in English and American Literature and no desire to get a job, even in the distant future :smile:

Why doesn't he consider a job in some form of Anglo-American journalism? It's worth a shot I suppose...

Reply 5

stoney

12

pinkpinkuk

Hmm this is an interesting one for me because I'm kind of seeing the other side at the moment :s-smilie:

(I must not emphasise no the sex bit, just the job bit)

My boyfriend graduated a year ago and has not made ANY effort to get a job. Neither has he signed on for benefits or anything. He is surviving on handouts from his (generous) parents. Now he's considering taking a postgrad course and I feel totally exasperated. It seems to me like he's just trying to avoid getting a job.

But we come from very different backgrounds. He knows his parents will support him for as long as he wants, whereas my parents will expect me to get a job and support myself as soon as I can. I will by no means break up with him over it, but I can understand the frustration.

Thing is its not very nice to be the breadwinner (I don't know if your boyfriend works or not...?) I certainly don't like it when I come home from working absolutely knackered and find my boyfriend has slept all morning, done some reading, then watched neighbours. :s-smilie:

Maybe he just wants you to appreciate what he does and maybe he is even jealous of you being able to do a postgrad course rather than enter the real world?

does he not clean the house, cook for when you get back etc?

Reply 6

Vohamanah

16

Not a chance.

He will do something if I ask him to, but won't think to do it himself.

Any-hoo this thread aint about my boyfriend, I'm not hijacking the OP's thread, I'm just saying I may understand kind of where her boyfriend is coming from, even if my situation isn't entirely the same...

Reply 7

Lolly-88

13

I thought this thread was going to be about someone who was paralysed :s-smilie:

To be honest I think it may be the sex thing because you have a part time job which clearly shows you're not too lazy to get a job. I think he may be using that as an excuse. How does your boyfriend feel about the lack of sex?

Reply 8

Louenn

Fully understand the sex thing, and you definitely need to talk to someone about it - go to your GP and ask to be referred to someone for therapy on it. If you make a start on tackling your issues, it'll mean you're happier in yourself too. You will also be able to do this while studying.

Depending on what subject you'll be learning to teach, you can get paid to do the PGCE course, and if it's a science subject or maths, you're quite likely to just walk into a teaching job at the end of it. They're desperate for high school teachers.

Reply 9

sssh

10

Him and his friends sound rubbish, split up with him!

The title was a bit confusing.

He may walk

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