Weird Mate - Should i get rid?

10

This is quite long. But this is really pissing me off and i really need advise :frown:

I have this mate, lets call him Bob and i've known him since year 9 (Im in first year of uni now) We went through high school, college and now we're at the same uni together. In year 9 he wouldnt leave me alone - asking me out etc (but hes small and ginger and not got a very good personality) so i wouldnt and just brushed him off. I though at college i could be free of him following me and being an arse with me but low and behold - he ended up hanging around with my group (cos people felt sorry for him)

I got a boyfriend in the second year of college and i was with him for 11 months. During that time Bob made my life hell - he would come online and have a go at me for something rediculous - then twist it all on to himself saying no1 likes him and he doesnt want to carry on life etc and then expected me to give a toss.

Even when my bf was at lessons Bob would take full advantge and start pulling my hair and throwing things at me - like some 14 year old flirting. It was the most annoying thing ever. When i be kissing my bf he would watch and things - it was gross.

Another example was in second year of college and i went down to nottingham to look at universities down there (i was staying at my mums bf's cos he lives down there) and Bob knew i was going so asked if he could join so obv i had to say yes. On the train down he started crying, having a MASSIVE go, saying things which wer UNBELIEVABLE - treating our friendship like a kind of 'relationship' like saying 'I do everything in this friendship Zoe and all you do is abuse it, i thought you were a friend, you only invited me because you felt sorry for me, im ginger *cries*' I was so pissed off so i ignored him - i was letting him stay at MY MOTHERS BFS house - hes a ****ing fool.

I ignored him until about 3 months ago. And he started it all again. I get drunken phone calls everytime hes out - crying hysterically about me / he knows i fancy this guy he knows, then he forgets he knows and then tells me about how he saw him kissing some girl and it was 'so funny' / He leaves things at mine so hes got an excuse to come round another time / i let him stay over because his lectures are near mine and he was stroking my hand - telling me that im his bestest friend - saying he would hang himself if i ever didnt talk to him cos life isnt worth living with out me :s-smilie:

Now hes started making up excuses to come spend time with me- saying his mates are guna text him when they are going out then comes down for about 5 hours and then goes home. The whole time hes out though he stands and stares at me. It the freakiest thing ever.

I dont know how much i can take. seriously. I dont know what to do. Do i just tell him hes a complete nutter and i cant be doing with him anymore?

And i cant understand why hes like this with me! Im so angry right now.

Reply 1

Rouge

uh, he sounds like a stalker, are you sure you aren't exaggerating?
if not, he's obviously a freak and u should ditch him, what kind of guy comes crying to you and doesnt take a hint?
but its quite unfair that you cited his being small and ginger as the first reason you disliked him? surely as a friend his looks should be irrelevant

Reply 2

Sausage

OP

10

No im being 100% truthful. Theres some other wierd things hes done too but i havent wrote them ^^

Noooo you dont understand me - i saw him as a friend at first like you get what i mean. But he became more annying and annoying and he became obsessed with the way he looks - like he dyes his hair now really dark and it makes his gingerness stand out more. I was saying that so understood what kinda guy this is. basically the only distinguishing features (including personality etc) is the fact hes ginger cos he really doesnt have a personality - just stands and stares. Im not saying it in a mean way - cos i honestly just wanted to be mates with the guy but then he becaome a;l wierd and none personality-y :s-smilie:

if you understand.

Reply 3

Yoda

12

Have words with him. He sounds ****ing annoying. Though to be honest it really doesn't sound like he is your friend anyway. The best thing to do would just be brutally honest with him. When he makes excuses to see you, just say no (or "**** off").

Reply 4

Tyler Durden

17

The only thing he's got going for him is that he's called Bob... and I get the impression it's a pseudonym you're using. Given that, I would tell him to feck off.

Reply 5

hotfuzz

^Ditto.

Reply 6

Sausage

OP

10

do you think i should tell him **** off? I dont understand why hes like this with me though - with everyone else hes fine. I get so freaked out when hes around. This weekend i was in liverpool and im sure i had told him in passing comment cos i was lending my mates xbox 360 to play. Anyhow i got a message on the first day id got there asking if theres anychance i was going round liverpool friday night cos he was going up with his sister to give her a lift and staying with her cos he owed her a favour. My mate was up for ringing him and tell him to stop being a freak -cos he ****ing knew i would. I ignored it and then at 1 in the morning i got a drunken phone call and he was out in manchester. So he lied to me and probably would have come all the way up to liverpool and pretended he was with his sister. Why god why!!!!

Reply 7

hotfuzz

Maybe the best thing to do is sit down and have a serious chat with him, and if that doesn't work then tell him to **** off.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

poor guy... I think that he needs medical treatment - seriously. It's an obsession that he has - and I afraid that it can go further. He's not psychologically balanced. Maybe you should contact his parents?

Reply 9

Sausage

OP

10

Do you all thnk hes basically my stalker? But friend stalker..if that makes sense. My uni mates hate him and i never invite him out he always seems to be in the places where i am. I dont wanna be so harsh to him cos hel cry. Im a pussy i know.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

he's not a stalker - he's just sick - he needs medical treatment, it will go further, he can even really hang himself when u tell him to #### off.

Reply 11

Just some guy

10

Wow, that does sound incredibly freaky and stalkerish.

It's a terrible tale though. My best guess is that he's in love with you (or has VERY strong feelings for you) and just can't let it go, the fact that he's been infatuated with you for years has probably ****ed him up quite a bit, and he sounds very strange from the get-go as well.

The best thing for everybody involved would be to break off all contact. Really, get a restraining order if you have to.

Reply 12

devils_nose

10

How odd, why do you refer to him as a friend when you clearly don't like him?

He is obsessed with you and from your posts I'd say he has been for years.. why have you been feeding his obsession for so long? If he's so annoying, why do you keep him around?

You would both be better off out of eachother's lives from the looks of things, he needs some help to manage his own feelings. Cut contact if you have to but I don't think telling him to **** off is going to much much other than upset everyone. Block his number from your phone to stop late night calls.

Reply 13

Sausage

OP

10

I just pulled him up on msn about the duvet and the way he was when he pretended he was going out with his mates and spent the night with me and mine and he told me to **** off and that he hasnt done anything wrong. I really dont know what to do cos i cant have him in my life anymore.

Reply 14

Sausage

OP

10

devils_nose

How odd, why do you refer to him as a friend when you clearly don't like him?

He is obsessed with you and from your posts I'd say he has been for years.. why have you been feeding his obsession for so long? If he's so annoying, why do you keep him around?

You would both be better off out of eachother's lives from the looks of things, he needs some help to manage his own feelings. Cut contact if you have to but I don't think telling him to **** off is going to much much other than upset everyone. Block his number from your phone to stop late night calls.

I would like to think of him as a friend and i have tried to hard to be his friend but he wont let it be. I tried ignoring him for about 7 months and after that time he carried on as usual. I honestly have tried everything but i think this time is guna be it i cant take this dude anymore!

Reply 15

Nix!

11

It sounds like he's infatuated with you and probably has been for years or alternatively he's just too dependant on you as his emotional fall back. He's unstable or at least just very odd.

Either chat with him very sternly and make sure he listens or cut him out completely.

Reply 16

Time Tourist

9

why do you want to be his friend? He's not being fair or a friend to you. He sounds a bit pathetic. So just tell him the truth and that you don't want to see him anymore if you don't spell it out he won't get it. He's obviously got serious issues and needs to realise that he's got to sort them out, but he's not your responsibility.

Reply 17

L i b

19

Email him a link to this thread...

Reply 18

bunthulhu

14

I'd have just told him to **** off about a century ago.

Reply 19

rosetinted

2

He's not a mate..a friend or anything else if you really can't stand him. You need to tell him to get lost, otherwise he's going to continue obsessively following you around. It's really tough getting rid of someone but you have to bite the bullet and tell him he's not a friend of yours.

I know how hard it is..I spent the past month getting rid of someone who was bugging the crap out of me. Ignoring isn't enough and eventually I got the guts to tell him face to face that I didn't want him hanging around any more. You'll feel so much better when he is gone though so it's 100% worth it. You won't have to worry about how to talk to him and him turning up suddenly out of nowhere.

Weird Mate - Should i get rid?

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