Girlfriend no longer finds me sexual attractive.
Just a little background information first:
I had been with my girlfriend for a year and a half; we broke up because she had feelings for her ex boyfriend, she left me for him and then realised 3 months later "how much she really loved me" so broke it off with him to get back with me.
Last year during the summer, she began taking the pill, her sexual libido dropped dramatically after that. She would no longer be able to get wet and every time we had sex she would be in pain after. When we broke up she didn't have this problem with her ex (she lost her virginity to him, he was her first love .. which she thinks is a big thing).
We got back together in May but she left for her year abroad over the summer; during the summer she asked me to take a break because she no longer feels the spark. She then came back for a week after about 3 months of us being apart but has told me that she is no longer sexually attracted to me and doesn't know if she ever was or if it was because the whole experience was something new.
She said to me that over the summer she was looking at other guys and just thinking to herself "I would have sex with him". She then began asking herself why is it that she was thinking about things like that whilst in a relationship with me? She also went to the doctor because of the pill and the doctor told her that her body can no longer produce oestrogen by itself so she's just always quite dry down there.
She says to me that she has no idea why she isn't sexually attracted to me because she finds me attractive and that i'm her dream boyfriend and she wants to be sexually attracted to me but her body isn't allowing her to. She has other issues such as her thinking that her parents will not allow our relationship to go any further which she thinks is causing an affect on her as well mentally.
She still gets jealous of me talking to other girls or going on nights out; she's getting off the pill this month but her hormones will probably not go back to normal for 3-4 months.
I guess what i'm trying to say is .. what do I do? I want a relationship with her but I don't know if I should wait to see if her hormones go back to normal because she herself doesn't know if she's actually sexually attracted to me or if she ever was ...
I had been with my girlfriend for a year and a half; we broke up because she had feelings for her ex boyfriend, she left me for him and then realised 3 months later "how much she really loved me" so broke it off with him to get back with me.
Last year during the summer, she began taking the pill, her sexual libido dropped dramatically after that. She would no longer be able to get wet and every time we had sex she would be in pain after. When we broke up she didn't have this problem with her ex (she lost her virginity to him, he was her first love .. which she thinks is a big thing).
We got back together in May but she left for her year abroad over the summer; during the summer she asked me to take a break because she no longer feels the spark. She then came back for a week after about 3 months of us being apart but has told me that she is no longer sexually attracted to me and doesn't know if she ever was or if it was because the whole experience was something new.
She said to me that over the summer she was looking at other guys and just thinking to herself "I would have sex with him". She then began asking herself why is it that she was thinking about things like that whilst in a relationship with me? She also went to the doctor because of the pill and the doctor told her that her body can no longer produce oestrogen by itself so she's just always quite dry down there.
She says to me that she has no idea why she isn't sexually attracted to me because she finds me attractive and that i'm her dream boyfriend and she wants to be sexually attracted to me but her body isn't allowing her to. She has other issues such as her thinking that her parents will not allow our relationship to go any further which she thinks is causing an affect on her as well mentally.
She still gets jealous of me talking to other girls or going on nights out; she's getting off the pill this month but her hormones will probably not go back to normal for 3-4 months.
I guess what i'm trying to say is .. what do I do? I want a relationship with her but I don't know if I should wait to see if her hormones go back to normal because she herself doesn't know if she's actually sexually attracted to me or if she ever was ...
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Hey this sounds like a really tricky situation for you :/ your girl is obviously very confused about what she wants. You have to ask yourself if it's worth getting back with her when there is a risk of things sliding back to her going back to her ex or the problems in bed. Although her hormones will be everywhere attraction is also a mental thing, so if her mind is also blocking her from being attracted to you, then it's unlikely that it'll come back when her hormones settle.
Also her saying that she doesn't find you attractive and questioning whether she ever did isn't a very enocouriaging sign. She sounds like she appreciates your company and thinks that you're a nice person, but we all know when girls are talking about guys they are friends with and guys they want to date and have sex with :/
I mean If depends if you Would really want to be with someone knowing that didn't appreciate your physical appearance , and that would always be looking elsewhere? I think it might get you down after a while. I understand that you might have strong feelings for her, but it doesn't seem very clear if she reciprocates in the way that you want her to?
Her being jealous also doesn't necessarily mean that she has feelings for you, she may just not want you to see other people, which is unfair on you. Maybe just see how it goes with her and don't rush back together with her and surely you'll just have the same problems in bed as you always did? Also make yourself a bit more " unavailable " to her, she may act clingy at first when she knows that she hasn't got all your attention but in a way it'll show her that you won't just come running to her, and maybe you need to see if there are other girls out there.. Preferably ones that find you to be attractive !
Also her saying that she doesn't find you attractive and questioning whether she ever did isn't a very enocouriaging sign. She sounds like she appreciates your company and thinks that you're a nice person, but we all know when girls are talking about guys they are friends with and guys they want to date and have sex with :/
I mean If depends if you Would really want to be with someone knowing that didn't appreciate your physical appearance , and that would always be looking elsewhere? I think it might get you down after a while. I understand that you might have strong feelings for her, but it doesn't seem very clear if she reciprocates in the way that you want her to?
Her being jealous also doesn't necessarily mean that she has feelings for you, she may just not want you to see other people, which is unfair on you. Maybe just see how it goes with her and don't rush back together with her and surely you'll just have the same problems in bed as you always did? Also make yourself a bit more " unavailable " to her, she may act clingy at first when she knows that she hasn't got all your attention but in a way it'll show her that you won't just come running to her, and maybe you need to see if there are other girls out there.. Preferably ones that find you to be attractive !
Original post by Anonymous
Hey this sounds like a really tricky situation for you :/ your girl is obviously very confused about what she wants. You have to ask yourself if it's worth getting back with her when there is a risk of things sliding back to her going back to her ex or the problems in bed. Although her hormones will be everywhere attraction is also a mental thing, so if her mind is also blocking her from being attracted to you, then it's unlikely that it'll come back when her hormones settle.
Also her saying that she doesn't find you attractive and questioning whether she ever did isn't a very enocouriaging sign. She sounds like she appreciates your company and thinks that you're a nice person, but we all know when girls are talking about guys they are friends with and guys they want to date and have sex with :/
I mean If depends if you Would really want to be with someone knowing that didn't appreciate your physical appearance , and that would always be looking elsewhere? I think it might get you down after a while. I understand that you might have strong feelings for her, but it doesn't seem very clear if she reciprocates in the way that you want her to?
Her being jealous also doesn't necessarily mean that she has feelings for you, she may just not want you to see other people, which is unfair on you. Maybe just see how it goes with her and don't rush back together with her and surely you'll just have the same problems in bed as you always did? Also make yourself a bit more " unavailable " to her, she may act clingy at first when she knows that she hasn't got all your attention but in a way it'll show her that you won't just come running to her, and maybe you need to see if there are other girls out there.. Preferably ones that find you to be attractive !
Also her saying that she doesn't find you attractive and questioning whether she ever did isn't a very enocouriaging sign. She sounds like she appreciates your company and thinks that you're a nice person, but we all know when girls are talking about guys they are friends with and guys they want to date and have sex with :/
I mean If depends if you Would really want to be with someone knowing that didn't appreciate your physical appearance , and that would always be looking elsewhere? I think it might get you down after a while. I understand that you might have strong feelings for her, but it doesn't seem very clear if she reciprocates in the way that you want her to?
Her being jealous also doesn't necessarily mean that she has feelings for you, she may just not want you to see other people, which is unfair on you. Maybe just see how it goes with her and don't rush back together with her and surely you'll just have the same problems in bed as you always did? Also make yourself a bit more " unavailable " to her, she may act clingy at first when she knows that she hasn't got all your attention but in a way it'll show her that you won't just come running to her, and maybe you need to see if there are other girls out there.. Preferably ones that find you to be attractive !
She said to me that it was only this summer when she began to start looking elsewhere. She says that she wishes she can be sexually attracted to me and she doesn't know the reason as to why she isn't. I've gone non contact with her now but I don't really want to not have a relationship with her. There are other girls who want to be with me but I haven't given them the time of day .. I don't want to rebound. Would rather look for somebody when i'm over this girl but deep down I still wish there is something that allows it to work out.
Original post by Anonymous
She said to me that it was only this summer when she began to start looking elsewhere. She says that she wishes she can be sexually attracted to me and she doesn't know the reason as to why she isn't. I've gone non contact with her now but I don't really want to not have a relationship with her. There are other girls who want to be with me but I haven't given them the time of day .. I don't want to rebound. Would rather look for somebody when i'm over this girl but deep down I still wish there is something that allows it to work out.
Well regardless of when it was, the fact is that she is looking elsewhere and it doesn't sound like she'll stop . Plus it's her problem that she's not attracted to you and You can't force her to be attracted to you, attraction its either there or it isn't. I mean would you want to be in bed with a girl who you liked but just didn't find attractive in any way, it'd be hard on you both :/
I understand that you feel as if not having anything makes everything seem pointless but maybe it's for the best? and you never know if you'll end up being friends in the future. Ah yeh a rebound doesn't sound like the best thing, maybe as you said wait until you're over her.
OP, what I'm going to say I mean no offense by but there's no reason to be anything but blunt.
Have you ever considered that the reason she's not sexually attracted is because your not man enough in personality. You took her back after she left you.. You still want to take her back now after she's admitted she's probably screwed other guys abroad.
Women are hypocrites. They say they want the nice guy but if you validate and pander to them submissively they'll not be as attracted to you if they like a more dominant man.
Frame is everything with a girl. Few of them really want a sensitive fairy who'll be their bitch.
Have you ever considered that the reason she's not sexually attracted is because your not man enough in personality. You took her back after she left you.. You still want to take her back now after she's admitted she's probably screwed other guys abroad.
Women are hypocrites. They say they want the nice guy but if you validate and pander to them submissively they'll not be as attracted to you if they like a more dominant man.
Frame is everything with a girl. Few of them really want a sensitive fairy who'll be their bitch.
What she has done would be classified as absolute haram. In the eyes of islam she would be sentenced to death. Although you may not follow our beliefs only you can decide what to do.
Mashallah brother.
Mashallah brother.
This relationship isn't going anywhere, she left you once for her ex. She's been thinking about having sex with other guys when abroad. She's not physically attracted to you anymore. She sounds like she's flighty :/
You can either try to reignite that spark you had or think about moving on. Personally, I'd say move on since she doesn't sound like she can be trusted m8.
You can either try to reignite that spark you had or think about moving on. Personally, I'd say move on since she doesn't sound like she can be trusted m8.
She sounds like she is on some sort of power trip and enjoying all the drama and attention.
Life is far too short to spend it with someone who doesn't show you any respect. End the relationship and move on. If you take control of the situation I wouldn't be surprised if she has a change of heart, don't listen to her, she isn't worth it.
I've been married a long time and this type of situation would be challenging for us. You are young and have no ties to this woman. Don't allow yourself to be second best, you sound like a nice guy and will eventually meet someone who will love you for who you are. She is playing games, don't be a part of it.
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Life is far too short to spend it with someone who doesn't show you any respect. End the relationship and move on. If you take control of the situation I wouldn't be surprised if she has a change of heart, don't listen to her, she isn't worth it.
I've been married a long time and this type of situation would be challenging for us. You are young and have no ties to this woman. Don't allow yourself to be second best, you sound like a nice guy and will eventually meet someone who will love you for who you are. She is playing games, don't be a part of it.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Shes got you wrapped up like a christmas parcel hasnt she?
She leaves you for her ex, then comes running back. She stops wanting to have sex and your still there. She admits she wants to have sex with other men and your still there. She jerks you round going "i wish i could but i cant" and you keep running back for more like a little whipped dog.
Get the hell out of there, shes playing you. She knows shes got a guy who is wrapped round her little finger but doesnt want to actually be with you. Shes keeping you around until she find someone else and then she will drop you
She leaves you for her ex, then comes running back. She stops wanting to have sex and your still there. She admits she wants to have sex with other men and your still there. She jerks you round going "i wish i could but i cant" and you keep running back for more like a little whipped dog.
Get the hell out of there, shes playing you. She knows shes got a guy who is wrapped round her little finger but doesnt want to actually be with you. Shes keeping you around until she find someone else and then she will drop you
Original post by Anonymous
she's just always quite dry down there.
she's just always quite dry down there.
Apparently, her heart is as well.
I understand what you all mean I guess; i'm much too young to be getting into this sort of drama. She seemed worth it but I don't think she is now .. getting an objective view about it.
Don't be a doormat you are better than that
Original post by Anonymous
I understand what you all mean I guess; i'm much too young to be getting into this sort of drama. She seemed worth it but I don't think she is now .. getting an objective view about it.
Since everyone else is being so blunt I might as well, sorry haha Hmm; but I don't think that she was the moment she got back with her ex :/ she just sounds like she's messing about with guys and her talk about the " I want to find you attractive but I can't " just sounds really mean; like the friendzone conversation though somehow she's saying it's your fault, even when it's not :/ she's just trying to pass off the blame for her weird actions. I'd really think about how much you're worth, and if it's worth being with a girl that'll leave you and think about other guys; it's your life
Original post by ZetaMu
Maybe stop being so nice? Have a backbone; be alpha. Get your way more often. Sounds counter-intuitive but chicks dig that.
She sees my "alpha-ness" towards everybody else just not towards her; I have a tender-aggressive type personality. I got my way a lot with her.
I just guess she isn't in love with me .. I don't think she ever was. It was the reason we broke up the first time and she came running back 2-3 months later. It may happen again but this time i'm not taking her back .. thing is .. I say that but I don't know what I would do when it happens .. if it does.
I sort've miss her .. or maybe i miss the relationship ...
Original post by Anonymous
l
I sort've miss her .. or maybe i miss the relationship ...
I sort've miss her .. or maybe i miss the relationship ...
I think there's your answer there ...
Original post by illusionz
Strict diet, join a gym, compound barbell movements, get hench.
oh and dump the girl.
oh and dump the girl.
I'm already hench buddy ...
There is literally no reason for her not to be sexually attracted to me except for maybe the fact that she's either not over her ex.
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