A Love Triangle (ish)

My male best friend has been with his girlfriend on and off for the past year and a half. When they split up a few months ago he told me that he was in love with me, but I didnt really take what he said seriously and nothing became of it as at that point to me we were just good friend but we spend a hell of a lot of time together and over time I have grown to have feelings for him too. He then got back together with his girlfriend and they are now still together. He tells me he loves us both and doesnt know what to do because he wants to be with me but he also knows how difficult it would be to split up with her as we are all at uni together and live near each other so cannot avoid each other.

I just want to know if you think he would ever leave her, do you think is he making excuses or do you think there is a chance?

It's making me really unhappy, and I've got angry with him recently when hes been all cuddy and kissy with me, as I don't think it's fair to either me or his girlfriend (who has no clue of what is going on) or himself.

Thanks.

Reply 1

Justintabib

Don't let him get hold of you!!! It's not a triangle, you are just playing second fiddle.

Do you like him? If not, then the only thing to do is to tell him that straight to his face and keep a distance from him.

Reply 2

Juwel

Whatever you'd like to be with him, you're his friend. So be his friend, and help him sort his relationship with his woman out.

Reply 3

Sephrenia

Don't believe him when he says he loves both of you. i had this with a guy, he kept saying he did but...and did this for a year and more. Really tore me up, then when I finally decided that Id had enough and he was just using me, and I told him that it wasn't going to work and nothing was going to happen, he accused me of using him...
Personally I don't think he would leave her, and hed just use you to make him feel good as in 'wahey I have 2 girls after me - aren't I just great!'

Reply 4

scribble_girl

Are you the girl that posted before?? I recall this situation and think it might have been you - did you post just after he told you that he liked you??

He needs to make a decision & until that point I think it's best to avoid him in that sense. If he wants to be with you and you want to be with him then great, but until he's decided what he's doing he's got no right to string you along. It's not fair on you, and it's certainly not fair on his girlfriend. If he really doesn't want to be with her anymore, he will find a way. If he doesn't, then.. well. Do you really want to be with a guy who isn't prepared to value you & does what's 'easiest' rather than what will be best for all involved? It takes someone strong to break out of the 'comfort zone' that you get in a relationship like that, and if he can't, maybe he's not worth it..

If I were you, I'd just tell him that nothing more was going to 'happen' between you two until he'd broken up with her, or you could both take a step back now and try and limit the painfulness. Yes, it'll be bloody difficult, but look at it as you being strong for the both of you. Don't be 'the other woman', if you feel as strongly as your post implies, it'll just hurt you far too much. :] :hugs: