Is it really mean if I tell my neighbour she can't bring her disabled child to mine

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Cressandra
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I met my neighbour a few months ago. She has been put in a house down the road by the local council as she was homeless. She is expected to stay for quite a while. She is a complete chav and we have nothing in common but when I met her at a toddler group she started coming over to my house a lot. I think it's because she found out she lives on the same street.

I don't really mind. I mean, we don't have the most in common by she's not a nasty person. But she has a learning disability and just does not understand what is socially okay and what's not.

She brings her daughter round once a week and her daughter has severe autism. She eats her food off the floor, she tramples food in my carpet, she doesn't wash her daughter or herself so they smell and make everything smell that they sit on. So I have to wash everything they sit on ( I put throws down to protect the furniture). She bites all my sons toys. She is so distructive and I hate it. It's not her fault of course. She should be being controlled by her parent in a visitors house but her mum doesn't have the social skills.

I've stopped having her over at all as the clean up job when she's over is huge and I'm just too tired to deal with it as I have a 2 year old son and a Masters course to complete which means I often don't get home until 6pm and I take over from my partner with parentig duties.

My neighbour came to the house today with her daughter and I let her in and tried to stop her daughter biting everything and putting food on the floor and I could tell me neighbour was sad. But I wasn't going to let her wreck havoc. In the end I cut their visit short.

I am very fussy with my house. I like it very clean and tidy but I don't mind some mess. the way this girl is is extreme though. It takes me an hour to clean up after her. My neighbour is known to social services for neglect and having a filthy house so it's not just me who thinks so.

Am I okay to refuse to let her daughter in? Under these circumstances? Or is it horrible to do so?
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shawn_o1
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don't let the neighbour in either, if you want to see her make sure it's in a public place. so that her daughter can at least learn how to conduct herself.
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Cressandra
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
don't let the neighbour in either, if you want to see her make sure it's in a public place. so that her daughter can at least learn how to conduct herself.
I do sometimes see them in public and I don't mind then. She still does some annoying things but at least my house isn't being messed up!
The mum likes to come mine though. And recently I've declined until today.

Her daughter has a profound learnig disability so would never be able to be polite but her mum should control her
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shawn_o1
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(Original post by Cressandra)
I do sometimes see them in public and I don't mind then. She still does some annoying things but at least my house isn't being messed up!
The mum likes to come mine though. And recently I've declined until today.

Her daughter has a profound learnig disability so would never be able to be polite but her mum should control her
anyone with autism can learn to be a functional human being. This coming from an autistic person. What my parents did when I was a "naughty boy" was ensure that I had as much attention and support as possible when in school. (That way I wouldn't be ruining class for all the other kids)
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Warrior Gene
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Please do not say anything of this sort to her. You should politely talk with your neighbour, advise her about the situation.
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Cressandra
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She's beyond annoying.
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EllainKahlo
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You have every right to refuse someone in your own home, I would. Since she might not understand what she's doing wrong, it might be a good idea to suggest it to her so she can make improvements concerning her behaviour.
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Warrior Gene
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(Original post by Cressandra)
She's beyond annoying.
You can advise your neighbor, you can suggest her ways how she should teach her daughter etc. You can politely advise her to improve her own bad habits too.
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Duncan2012
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It's your home and you're entitled to decide who comes in and who doesn't. You have a lot more patience than I think I would in the same situation.
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SophieSmall
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
anyone with autism can learn to be a functional human being. This coming from an autistic person. What my parents did when I was a "naughty boy" was ensure that I had as much attention and support as possible when in school. (That way I wouldn't be ruining class for all the other kids)
Autism is a massive spectrum. Just because you are high functioning it does not mean every Autistic person can learn to be a functional member of society.

I know a severe autistic. He cannot speak, type or communicate effectivly. He has so many sensory problems as well, every day for him is a battle. He cannot attend any form of school due to his severe learning difficulties. Making the statement that anyone with autism can be functional is incredibly ignorant whether you have autism or not.

At OP you have every right to not let them in your home. Hopefully the mum will get the help she needs, the child as well.
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SlenderManRises
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****ing scumbag. You claim your a Social Worker so surely you know how to deal with situations like this unless your a troll?
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