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I'm so annoyed for being naive enough to believe that certain people might change...
When I was at secondary school I was quite badly bullied, even in the sixth form when you may have expected people to grow out of it.
By the end I couldn't wait to leave school and get on with my life elsewhere.
It's now been three years, I'm happy at university, I have a lovely boyfriend (something I never had the privilege of before coming to uni) and I've gained a place on a postgraduate course. However, I've never quite been able to forget what my schooldays were like and now something's happened to pull the rug right out from under my feet.
In one way it's really only minor but in another way it's left me really unsettled. What with the rise and rise of Facebook, just about anyone can find you (especially seeing as my name is quite unusual). When a few of the girls who were horrible to me tried to add me I was kind of insulted that they thought I would be stupid enough to add people who were so horrible to me. Nevertheless I continued to post in Facebook groups that they were also part of and up until now this hasn't been a problem...but now it appears that one girl in particular still hasn't changed her vindictive ways. In one way it would almost be better if she was insulting me by private message, but she's insulting me online in full view of others. I had continued to be a part of the groups because I thought that three years on, people might have been mature enough to change. I'm disappointed that I was wrong.
I've left both the groups concerned now and warned the moderators to keep an eye on this girl's posts (I wouldn't trust her to stop posting bad things about me now that I've left). As I said, I know this is only the internet, but knowing that she's willing to still treat me like poo online doesn't exactly fill me with confidence for when I'm out and about at home. Ever since I left school, I've never liked going out into town when I'm at home in case people who were horrible to me see me. I just want to completely leave that part of my life behind and never ever be reminded of it again. Now it just seems even more plausible that people would be horrible to me if I saw them when I was out.
I don't really know what response I expect from this. Maybe I'm overreacting. All I know is, it's put me right on edge. If anyone has any advice or even any similar experiences to share, it would help. Thanks for listening and sorry for the long post.
By the end I couldn't wait to leave school and get on with my life elsewhere.
It's now been three years, I'm happy at university, I have a lovely boyfriend (something I never had the privilege of before coming to uni) and I've gained a place on a postgraduate course. However, I've never quite been able to forget what my schooldays were like and now something's happened to pull the rug right out from under my feet.
In one way it's really only minor but in another way it's left me really unsettled. What with the rise and rise of Facebook, just about anyone can find you (especially seeing as my name is quite unusual). When a few of the girls who were horrible to me tried to add me I was kind of insulted that they thought I would be stupid enough to add people who were so horrible to me. Nevertheless I continued to post in Facebook groups that they were also part of and up until now this hasn't been a problem...but now it appears that one girl in particular still hasn't changed her vindictive ways. In one way it would almost be better if she was insulting me by private message, but she's insulting me online in full view of others. I had continued to be a part of the groups because I thought that three years on, people might have been mature enough to change. I'm disappointed that I was wrong.
I've left both the groups concerned now and warned the moderators to keep an eye on this girl's posts (I wouldn't trust her to stop posting bad things about me now that I've left). As I said, I know this is only the internet, but knowing that she's willing to still treat me like poo online doesn't exactly fill me with confidence for when I'm out and about at home. Ever since I left school, I've never liked going out into town when I'm at home in case people who were horrible to me see me. I just want to completely leave that part of my life behind and never ever be reminded of it again. Now it just seems even more plausible that people would be horrible to me if I saw them when I was out.
I don't really know what response I expect from this. Maybe I'm overreacting. All I know is, it's put me right on edge. If anyone has any advice or even any similar experiences to share, it would help. Thanks for listening and sorry for the long post.
Reply 1
Hmm sounds to be like e-bullying! Something I never had to deal with because... I'm over 14 lol (no just joking! I know you're prolly around my age
) but I was bullied too so I know how you feel 
Like today I was having lunch with a friend and one of the waitresses serving us was a girl who used to be part of a group who picked on people like me, and it made me feel crap when she was out the back laughing. However when we were leaving my friend reminded me that she's the one with the problem, besides she just works at a cafe and did nothing else with her life
Mean people suck, don't they! Try not to let it get to you and be the best person you can with your studies + uni, they'll be the last ones to laugh trust me x x
) but I was bullied too so I know how you feel Like today I was having lunch with a friend and one of the waitresses serving us was a girl who used to be part of a group who picked on people like me, and it made me feel crap when she was out the back laughing. However when we were leaving my friend reminded me that she's the one with the problem, besides she just works at a cafe and did nothing else with her life
Mean people suck, don't they! Try not to let it get to you and be the best person you can with your studies + uni, they'll be the last ones to laugh trust me x x
Sometimes we try to convince ourselves that stuff that happens online means nothing, but it is very easy to get hurt over it and I know the feeling well *sigh*
I've had a lot of Facebook bullying, not from people in my school, but moreso from randomers at my university (you'd think you'd get more intelligent types at Cambridge - there's a long thread of it in my back threads - "Facebook Weirdos") as well as from random people on TSR who think it's funny to insult me for the way I look . We tell ourselves that really what they say matters very little, but it hurts just as much, and I've cried a lot over what randoms have said to me. Ummm, what advice can I give...? (I have a feeling I know who you might be OP, and as far as I'm concerned, you're beautiful and lovely.) Hang in there, if they get their kicks out of being Facebook bullies, they can't be leading very interesting lives
and I know the feeling well *sigh* I've had a lot of Facebook bullying, not from people in my school, but moreso from randomers at my university (you'd think you'd get more intelligent types at Cambridge - there's a long thread of it in my back threads - "Facebook Weirdos") as well as from random people on TSR who think it's funny to insult me for the way I look
. We tell ourselves that really what they say matters very little, but it hurts just as much, and I've cried a lot over what randoms have said to me. Ummm, what advice can I give...? (I have a feeling I know who you might be OP, and as far as I'm concerned, you're beautiful and lovely.) Hang in there, if they get their kicks out of being Facebook bullies, they can't be leading very interesting lives Reply 3
I'm nearly 21.
Minimo - if you think you know who I am, that's OK - the anon is just to cover my back in case any of the aforementioned people hap upon this site
Minimo - if you think you know who I am, that's OK - the anon is just to cover my back in case any of the aforementioned people hap upon this site
Reply 5
minimo
Sometimes we try to convince ourselves that stuff that happens online means nothing, but it is very easy to get hurt over it and I know the feeling well *sigh*
I've had a lot of Facebook bullying, not from people in my school, but moreso from randomers at my university (you'd think you'd get more intelligent types at Cambridge - there's a long thread of it in my back threads - "Facebook Weirdos") as well as from random people on TSR who think it's funny to insult me for the way I look . We tell ourselves that really what they say matters very little, but it hurts just as much, and I've cried a lot over what randoms have said to me. Ummm, what advice can I give...? (I have a feeling I know who you might be OP, and as far as I'm concerned, you're beautiful and lovely.) Hang in there, if they get their kicks out of being Facebook bullies, they can't be leading very interesting lives
and I know the feeling well *sigh* I've had a lot of Facebook bullying, not from people in my school, but moreso from randomers at my university (you'd think you'd get more intelligent types at Cambridge - there's a long thread of it in my back threads - "Facebook Weirdos") as well as from random people on TSR who think it's funny to insult me for the way I look
. We tell ourselves that really what they say matters very little, but it hurts just as much, and I've cried a lot over what randoms have said to me. Ummm, what advice can I give...? (I have a feeling I know who you might be OP, and as far as I'm concerned, you're beautiful and lovely.) Hang in there, if they get their kicks out of being Facebook bullies, they can't be leading very interesting lives 
My friends now even pay me out coz I'm on here and not having coffee with them (but I will in minute anyway). Let me tell you if I told them what was happening, they'd stand up for you coz their cool like that
And Minimo you're young and gorgeous too so I hope you don't pay attention to any of those comments!!
Think I know who the OP is too
Reply 6
Well anyway feel free to PM coz even tho e-bullying is unfamiliar territory for me, I was admittedly mercilessly bullied in real life pretty much all throughout high school which is wasn't a nice experience I can tell you! ! 
DBx
DBx
Reply 7
minimo
Sometimes we try to convince ourselves that stuff that happens online means nothing, but it is very easy to get hurt over it and I know the feeling well *sigh*
I've had a lot of Facebook bullying, not from people in my school, but moreso from randomers at my university (you'd think you'd get more intelligent types at Cambridge - there's a long thread of it in my back threads - "Facebook Weirdos") as well as from random people on TSR who think it's funny to insult me for the way I look . We tell ourselves that really what they say matters very little, but it hurts just as much, and I've cried a lot over what randoms have said to me. Ummm, what advice can I give...? (I have a feeling I know who you might be OP, and as far as I'm concerned, you're beautiful and lovely.) Hang in there, if they get their kicks out of being Facebook bullies, they can't be leading very interesting lives
and I know the feeling well *sigh* I've had a lot of Facebook bullying, not from people in my school, but moreso from randomers at my university (you'd think you'd get more intelligent types at Cambridge - there's a long thread of it in my back threads - "Facebook Weirdos") as well as from random people on TSR who think it's funny to insult me for the way I look
. We tell ourselves that really what they say matters very little, but it hurts just as much, and I've cried a lot over what randoms have said to me. Ummm, what advice can I give...? (I have a feeling I know who you might be OP, and as far as I'm concerned, you're beautiful and lovely.) Hang in there, if they get their kicks out of being Facebook bullies, they can't be leading very interesting lives jeez, i can't believe this goes on, and on facebook too? its so pathetic to think of people at uni and still bullying online, and by random people from cambridge too? how does that happen,did you add them as friends or do they just look at your profile pics and send messages ? what total losers
Reply 9
The best way you can deal with these girls is to laugh at them. Cyberbullying is pathetic when middle schoolers do it, but in a university student it is beyond risible. Anyone who tries to carry on feuds from their schooldays through university (and beyond) is idiotic, but people from Cambridge, of all places, doing it via Facebook simply beggars belief.
Reply 10
Some people never grow up....
If they want to hassle you that badly they must be pretty insecure
If they want to hassle you that badly they must be pretty insecure
I really empathise - I've been in similar situations and it's horrible. In my case the bullying was over MSN, and even though I blocked and deleted the contacts I still felt really horrible. I really feel ashamed that even though it must be almost four years since I saw or spoke to the girls in question it still made me feel like ****. It really knocks your confidence when you think that you've been free from that kind of persecution, and then it comes back and hits you without warning. I don't think that bullying is something one ever truly 'gets over', but there are ways of coping with it so that 99% percent of the time you feel good about yourself. 
You have a boyfriend, so that's great - if he doesn't already know about this, tell him and let him make you feel better (as any good boyfriend should). Find a current friend who's happy to be confided in, who knows your background and how this makes you feel, and every time you feel your confidence waver, ask them for help getting over it - you need reminding that you now are totally different from the person who was once picked on. Get them to go out with you when you feel nervous, and maybe rehearse what you'd say in the event that you meet this girl on the street, to boost your confidence levels. It may seem like a cliché, but remember the only power she/they have over you is what you give to them. It is your right to feel good about yourself and to feel safe where you go, so use it. They are the ones with the problem, not you.
You have a boyfriend, so that's great - if he doesn't already know about this, tell him and let him make you feel better (as any good boyfriend should). Find a current friend who's happy to be confided in, who knows your background and how this makes you feel, and every time you feel your confidence waver, ask them for help getting over it - you need reminding that you now are totally different from the person who was once picked on. Get them to go out with you when you feel nervous, and maybe rehearse what you'd say in the event that you meet this girl on the street, to boost your confidence levels. It may seem like a cliché, but remember the only power she/they have over you is what you give to them. It is your right to feel good about yourself and to feel safe where you go, so use it. They are the ones with the problem, not you.
Reply 12
Thank you
Francophobia
The best way you can deal with these girls is to laugh at them. Cyberbullying is pathetic when middle schoolers do it, but in a university student it is beyond risible. Anyone who tries to carry on feuds from their schooldays through university (and beyond) is idiotic, but people from Cambridge, of all places, doing it via Facebook simply beggars belief.
*sigh* Yes, sadly intelligence is not always correlated with being a decent person
Reply 14
Anonymous
When I was at secondary school I was quite badly bullied, even in the sixth form when you may have expected people to grow out of it.
By the end I couldn't wait to leave school and get on with my life elsewhere.
It's now been three years, I'm happy at university, I have a lovely boyfriend (something I never had the privilege of before coming to uni) and I've gained a place on a postgraduate course. However, I've never quite been able to forget what my schooldays were like and now something's happened to pull the rug right out from under my feet.
In one way it's really only minor but in another way it's left me really unsettled. What with the rise and rise of Facebook, just about anyone can find you (especially seeing as my name is quite unusual). When a few of the girls who were horrible to me tried to add me I was kind of insulted that they thought I would be stupid enough to add people who were so horrible to me. Nevertheless I continued to post in Facebook groups that they were also part of and up until now this hasn't been a problem...but now it appears that one girl in particular still hasn't changed her vindictive ways. In one way it would almost be better if she was insulting me by private message, but she's insulting me online in full view of others. I had continued to be a part of the groups because I thought that three years on, people might have been mature enough to change. I'm disappointed that I was wrong.
I've left both the groups concerned now and warned the moderators to keep an eye on this girl's posts (I wouldn't trust her to stop posting bad things about me now that I've left). As I said, I know this is only the internet, but knowing that she's willing to still treat me like poo online doesn't exactly fill me with confidence for when I'm out and about at home. Ever since I left school, I've never liked going out into town when I'm at home in case people who were horrible to me see me. I just want to completely leave that part of my life behind and never ever be reminded of it again. Now it just seems even more plausible that people would be horrible to me if I saw them when I was out.
I don't really know what response I expect from this. Maybe I'm overreacting. All I know is, it's put me right on edge. If anyone has any advice or even any similar experiences to share, it would help. Thanks for listening and sorry for the long post.
By the end I couldn't wait to leave school and get on with my life elsewhere.
It's now been three years, I'm happy at university, I have a lovely boyfriend (something I never had the privilege of before coming to uni) and I've gained a place on a postgraduate course. However, I've never quite been able to forget what my schooldays were like and now something's happened to pull the rug right out from under my feet.
In one way it's really only minor but in another way it's left me really unsettled. What with the rise and rise of Facebook, just about anyone can find you (especially seeing as my name is quite unusual). When a few of the girls who were horrible to me tried to add me I was kind of insulted that they thought I would be stupid enough to add people who were so horrible to me. Nevertheless I continued to post in Facebook groups that they were also part of and up until now this hasn't been a problem...but now it appears that one girl in particular still hasn't changed her vindictive ways. In one way it would almost be better if she was insulting me by private message, but she's insulting me online in full view of others. I had continued to be a part of the groups because I thought that three years on, people might have been mature enough to change. I'm disappointed that I was wrong.
I've left both the groups concerned now and warned the moderators to keep an eye on this girl's posts (I wouldn't trust her to stop posting bad things about me now that I've left). As I said, I know this is only the internet, but knowing that she's willing to still treat me like poo online doesn't exactly fill me with confidence for when I'm out and about at home. Ever since I left school, I've never liked going out into town when I'm at home in case people who were horrible to me see me. I just want to completely leave that part of my life behind and never ever be reminded of it again. Now it just seems even more plausible that people would be horrible to me if I saw them when I was out.
I don't really know what response I expect from this. Maybe I'm overreacting. All I know is, it's put me right on edge. If anyone has any advice or even any similar experiences to share, it would help. Thanks for listening and sorry for the long post.
Let me guess, had "this one girl in particular", gone to university or made a success of herself since school? From what I've read hun I'm 99% sure she hasn't. It sounds to me like classic jealousy.
She hates what you have done with your life and she is validating herself by making you feel as bad as she does. From a primitive way of thinking, perhaps she only has the sense to believe that as long as she can control your self asteem, she will always be better than you.
The bullies at my school only ever bullied the prettiest girls. It all stems from classic, petty jealousy and girls are particularly guilty of it.
People can only make you feel bad if you let them (see sig
) but if I were you, I dare say that I would temporarily stoop to her standards of thinking (since it's the only thing she understands), and point out my achievements over hers. From experience, you have to show them you're not such an easy target to get any kind of retreat from them.Bullies really are the scum of the earth
Reply 15
Thanks all. I'm feeling much better today (and rather smug that she was stupid enough to insult me publicly so that now everyone can see what a bitch she is ).
).
I was bullied alot at school which left me so unhappy with myself. I have actually had the last laugh in some cases because I'm now a rep on the Student Association that organises college parties and I skip queues and have access all areas in the clubs. There's nothing funnier than walking past a queue with people you used to go to school with who ripped the **** out of you stood in the rain and getting straight in OR having to tell off their tiny slutty girlfriend for pushing people off the stage and when she starts rising holding up your Id and saying 'LOOK LOVE DON'T PUSH IT, I COULD HAVE YOU KICKED OUT OF THE CLUB RIGHT NOW FOR SUCH STUPID BEHAVIOUR SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND STOP BEING A BITCH, I'M NOT WARNING YOU AGAIN'.
However I've experienced the type of thing you're talking about. I have a bit of a rocky history (mainly my first year away from home) and alot of it is very private and I don't tell people unless it comes up beause it biases people's views. So I'm always paranoid about people popping up and exposing me to people for all my dark secrets that I've put behind me but people witnessed at the time.
For instance Someone popped up on TSR a couple of weeks ago posting in a couple of threads that I was a whore, that I had anything with a cock, that my legs were always spread, etc etc. I don't know who he was other than he claimed to be called Gary and said he'd had a one night stand with me and went to my college. I've slept with two guys from my college and neither were called Gary!
Also on Bebo some boys who were basically nerds at school who used to put me down because I'm a bit ditzy, quite loud and very girly posted a couple of comments sarcastically claiming that I was gorgeous and they wanted to sleep with me. I couldn't delete them but I just ignored them. They don't get laid now!
The moral is yes it does hurt but at the end of the day I'm pretty sure most of them just have nothing else to do with themselves and are pretty pathetic, most bullies are.
However I've experienced the type of thing you're talking about. I have a bit of a rocky history (mainly my first year away from home) and alot of it is very private and I don't tell people unless it comes up beause it biases people's views. So I'm always paranoid about people popping up and exposing me to people for all my dark secrets that I've put behind me but people witnessed at the time.
For instance Someone popped up on TSR a couple of weeks ago posting in a couple of threads that I was a whore, that I had anything with a cock, that my legs were always spread, etc etc. I don't know who he was other than he claimed to be called Gary and said he'd had a one night stand with me and went to my college. I've slept with two guys from my college and neither were called Gary!
Also on Bebo some boys who were basically nerds at school who used to put me down because I'm a bit ditzy, quite loud and very girly posted a couple of comments sarcastically claiming that I was gorgeous and they wanted to sleep with me. I couldn't delete them but I just ignored them. They don't get laid now!
The moral is yes it does hurt but at the end of the day I'm pretty sure most of them just have nothing else to do with themselves and are pretty pathetic, most bullies are.
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