Boyfriend hates uni because Of me, now his mental health is suffering.
Hi,
So this time last year I was a fresher. I met a boy (now my boyfriend) on the first day of uni. We were best friends at uni, but he had a girlfriend. He liked me as soon as he saw me and knew he wanted to be with me. So in November told me, he broke up with his girlfriend as well. But, I hated uni, I would cry every day as was so lonely (even though I had friends) and hated the place!
So in December I left as wasn't happy and my anxiety was so bad at the time so needed to settle my mind and emotions. My now boyfriend found this hard as I left so suddenly. Not to mention his other best friend there has gone abroad for a year, so he has lost everyone close to him. He's gone back this September after finishing his first year there and hating every second and he's seriously struggling.
He hates the place, (it is awful), like there's not much to do and it's very inner city, concrete, dreary and dull, especially this time of year. He rings me crying and told me he's thought of harming himself. He can't leave cause of the pressures his parents put on him. I feel like he's got no happiness, he says I'm the only one who makes him happy and when I'm not with him he has really dark days. He keeps saying come back, and he feels bad for making me feel bad for leaving. I've said I'll see him thurs-mon when I don't have lectures. I just want Him to be happy again. I feel like he's going through bereavement or something. I know exactly how he feels as I felt the same, only difference being I left. He feels trapped and already nearly half way through a degree so can't exactly leave now.
Anyone got any ideas on how I can get his mental health better? He's on 2 teams and studies. So keeps busy. It's just when he's alone he gets so down. He doesn't want to make friends as it makes him think of me, he also doesn't see the point as he says he's got friends at home and doesn't need anyone else. He gets on with his housemates well, and that is his main friendship group.
I'm just really concerned for him now.
Please can anyone give me any tips or advice in how to help him!
Thank you x
So this time last year I was a fresher. I met a boy (now my boyfriend) on the first day of uni. We were best friends at uni, but he had a girlfriend. He liked me as soon as he saw me and knew he wanted to be with me. So in November told me, he broke up with his girlfriend as well. But, I hated uni, I would cry every day as was so lonely (even though I had friends) and hated the place!
So in December I left as wasn't happy and my anxiety was so bad at the time so needed to settle my mind and emotions. My now boyfriend found this hard as I left so suddenly. Not to mention his other best friend there has gone abroad for a year, so he has lost everyone close to him. He's gone back this September after finishing his first year there and hating every second and he's seriously struggling.
He hates the place, (it is awful), like there's not much to do and it's very inner city, concrete, dreary and dull, especially this time of year. He rings me crying and told me he's thought of harming himself. He can't leave cause of the pressures his parents put on him. I feel like he's got no happiness, he says I'm the only one who makes him happy and when I'm not with him he has really dark days. He keeps saying come back, and he feels bad for making me feel bad for leaving. I've said I'll see him thurs-mon when I don't have lectures. I just want Him to be happy again. I feel like he's going through bereavement or something. I know exactly how he feels as I felt the same, only difference being I left. He feels trapped and already nearly half way through a degree so can't exactly leave now.
Anyone got any ideas on how I can get his mental health better? He's on 2 teams and studies. So keeps busy. It's just when he's alone he gets so down. He doesn't want to make friends as it makes him think of me, he also doesn't see the point as he says he's got friends at home and doesn't need anyone else. He gets on with his housemates well, and that is his main friendship group.
I'm just really concerned for him now.
Please can anyone give me any tips or advice in how to help him!
Thank you x
Maybe you could suggest he talks to a counsellor at his uni? So he can talk through his feelings every week without being so alone.
I think that as hard as it is for your boyfriend, you can't go back and make yourself miserable because of this. All you can do is encourage him to ask for help and support him. You going back wouldn't be a good idea- it would just make you suffer and grow to resent him. It also sounds like he might be a bit too reliant on you, maybe his housemates can try and cheer him up and keep him company. If he feels like harming himself he probably needs some support which he could access through his GP or university counselling service
x
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