am i a push over?
so I am a new fy1. There is a loud nurse who is similar age to me. She is more experienced and always undermines my ttos, my decisions and swore infront of the patients to the other nurse about me.
I have had enough. I told my registrar informally and he advised me not to be a pushover. I feel its to the point where she is undermining digging me out for no reason. She finds females a threat but this is no reason to behave like this. Shall I raie the matter.
Also I am very quiet so does that make her feel more easier to pick on me.
I have had enough. I told my registrar informally and he advised me not to be a pushover. I feel its to the point where she is undermining digging me out for no reason. She finds females a threat but this is no reason to behave like this. Shall I raie the matter.
Also I am very quiet so does that make her feel more easier to pick on me.
Original post by hannahh1
so I am a new fy1. There is a loud nurse who is similar age to me. She is more experienced and always undermines my ttos, my decisions and swore infront of the patients to the other nurse about me.
I have had enough. I told my registrar informally and he advised me not to be a pushover. I feel its to the point where she is undermining digging me out for no reason. She finds females a threat but this is no reason to behave like this. Shall I raie the matter.
Also I am very quiet so does that make her feel more easier to pick on me.
I have had enough. I told my registrar informally and he advised me not to be a pushover. I feel its to the point where she is undermining digging me out for no reason. She finds females a threat but this is no reason to behave like this. Shall I raie the matter.
Also I am very quiet so does that make her feel more easier to pick on me.
Sounds like she's being completely unprofessional. Nursing is a tough job and can be stressful, but it's still absolutely their responsibility to stay cool during the workplace, especially around patients.
If I were in your position, I'd raise the matter. A hospital is no place for unprofessionalism - trust me.
It's difficult for people here to offer advice without knowing the personalities involved. Are her comments offered up jokily (even if still undermining your work) or unpleasantly? How do you get on with the other ward staff, including the ward manager? Is your clinical supervisor supportive? How much longer do you have left of this job?
You will run into this from time to time as an FY1 because you need a lot of help and are unconfident about your decisions. The female-female interaction probably doesn't help either. If it's any consolation, this time next year you will be an SHO, much more confident, and the issue won't come up anywhere near as frequently. If this nurse is going to bully you then this is her only opportunity.
In terms of things to do, the most obvious options are:
1. Do nothing - keep working hard, shrug it off, and deal with comments on an individual basis.
2. Speak to the nurse directly. It would be better to do this "casually" on the ward rather than asking to speak with her somewhere separately so that this isn't interpreted as hostility. A simple "why don't we seem to get along?" might be enough.
3. Speak to the sister / ward manager and ask for their advice about how to approach the situation. My experience is that most sisters would be sympathetic and would either intervene or offer you some advice with the benefit of knowing the nurse that's causing the trouble.
Which option you choose really depends on your personality and how you think each player would respond. You can't know for sure which is the correct option (at least until some time afterwards!) but need to choose one or the other. If this is really bothering you then it's probably worth finding your trust dignity at work policy as that might provide some organisation-specific ideas.
It's also worth (particularly if you choose 2 or 3) recording everything in your e-portfolio. Not only will this count as a reflection and be useful for interviews but you will also have a contemporaneous log if the situation was to deteriorate for any reason later on.
You will run into this from time to time as an FY1 because you need a lot of help and are unconfident about your decisions. The female-female interaction probably doesn't help either. If it's any consolation, this time next year you will be an SHO, much more confident, and the issue won't come up anywhere near as frequently. If this nurse is going to bully you then this is her only opportunity.
In terms of things to do, the most obvious options are:
1. Do nothing - keep working hard, shrug it off, and deal with comments on an individual basis.
2. Speak to the nurse directly. It would be better to do this "casually" on the ward rather than asking to speak with her somewhere separately so that this isn't interpreted as hostility. A simple "why don't we seem to get along?" might be enough.
3. Speak to the sister / ward manager and ask for their advice about how to approach the situation. My experience is that most sisters would be sympathetic and would either intervene or offer you some advice with the benefit of knowing the nurse that's causing the trouble.
Which option you choose really depends on your personality and how you think each player would respond. You can't know for sure which is the correct option (at least until some time afterwards!) but need to choose one or the other. If this is really bothering you then it's probably worth finding your trust dignity at work policy as that might provide some organisation-specific ideas.
It's also worth (particularly if you choose 2 or 3) recording everything in your e-portfolio. Not only will this count as a reflection and be useful for interviews but you will also have a contemporaneous log if the situation was to deteriorate for any reason later on.
If this issue was the other way around, she would have definitely shopped you to the ward manager who would have told your consultant.
There is no excuse and if you do nothing, it simply reinforces her belief that it's ok to act that way, and this may rub off on her other colleagues that observe her treating you like this.
You're not a pushover, being a quiet person is not a personality flaw, and your registrar is wrong to suggest you are the one who should change your behaviour in this situation.
Respect yourself and tell a consultant in your team. Your first F1 job is hard enough without anyone giving you a hard time.
You're by no means alone. I'm a complete extrovert but have been reduced to tears by a ward sister screaming in my face in front of a full team of doctors as well as patients (she was telling me my hair looked unprofessional and I should go home and dye it - because it was dyed red!!). B*tches be crazy....
There is no excuse and if you do nothing, it simply reinforces her belief that it's ok to act that way, and this may rub off on her other colleagues that observe her treating you like this.
You're not a pushover, being a quiet person is not a personality flaw, and your registrar is wrong to suggest you are the one who should change your behaviour in this situation.
Respect yourself and tell a consultant in your team. Your first F1 job is hard enough without anyone giving you a hard time.
You're by no means alone. I'm a complete extrovert but have been reduced to tears by a ward sister screaming in my face in front of a full team of doctors as well as patients (she was telling me my hair looked unprofessional and I should go home and dye it - because it was dyed red!!). B*tches be crazy....
Original post by MonteCristo
In terms of things to do, the most obvious options are:
1. Do nothing.
2. Speak to the nurse directly.
3. Speak to the sister / ward manager and ask for their advice about how to approach the situation.
1. Do nothing.
2. Speak to the nurse directly.
3. Speak to the sister / ward manager and ask for their advice about how to approach the situation.
Guys, I think we've found the guy who designs the SJT questions... Get 'im!
This is a tough situation. I'm an SHO so am fortunate that I have a bit of experience behind me and am not brand new - but I have been having particular issues with one nurse since I changed jobs. The first thing that reassured me, was that it's not just me, the nurse has issues with all junior doctors. Unfortunately I had the pleasure of her company all last week on nights, so I had to find ways of getting round things. Personally, I have found that being extra-nice and friendly in the face of hostility works quite well. It's hard to keep being rude to someone who is being openly nice to you. Initially I thought that keeping myself to myself and not getting in her way was the best strategy, but actually she was interpreting that as arrogance and aloofness and "those doctors never say hello, they think they know it all" (overheard her say it). On the other hand, making trivial conversation with her means that she has to reply otherwise she looks like she's being rude, even when she clearly doesn't want to talk to me. She had to help me with a procedure one night, and by help, I mean more mutter under her breath and tut and sigh the whole time. I asked her questions and asked her to show me things with the ward-specific equipment, and then when it was done, I thanked her for helping me and for her patience, even though she'd in fact been rather impatient. There have been plenty of other similar situations. I am finding that humility, friendliness, lots of profuse thanks and and openly recognising their experience and skills (and my lack thereof) is generally rather disarming and it is harder for her to be rude - she still doesn't like me, but it has diffused the situation a bit, when it could have kept getting a lot worse.
Original post by LetoKynes
Guys, I think we've found the guy who designs the SJT questions... Get 'im!
Haha no but very close as I did have the misfortune of writing one of the study guides...
Original post by junior.doctor
being extra-nice and friendly in the face of hostility works quite wellGet 'im!
As much as this feels like giving in and rewarding the bully, it is a pragmatic "solution" to the problem. One of the good (and frustrating) things about the NHS is that you work closely with thousands of different people, some of whom you will find difficult. You aren't solely responsible for stopping every bully in the NHS and should choose your battles carefully. That said, if her behaviour towards you is unbearable then make this one of the battles you choose to fight.
Unfortunately this sounds all too familiar. It happens to every junior doctor (and above). There's a worrying lack of respect towards junior doctors from allied healthcare professionals, starting from the nurses, HCA, ward clerks to domestics. There are wonderful nurses out there but rude and disrespectful ones are plentiful.
I have hardly come across any doctor who speaks to any allied ealthcare professionals in ways that's described as above (shouting, being rude and constantly undermining behaviour). On the other hand junior doctors just have to get over these ridiculous behaviours.
A lot of this I suppose stems from the fact that junior doctors go through rotations and don't stay on the same speciality or even ward permanently unlike the allied healthcare. This effectively creates an uneven ground between the doctors and the rest. Being new, whether as an F1 or even SHOs on a new ward means that it would be unwise to pick a battle with these people whilst in THEIR territory. One still needs their help to find that elusive tourniquet/cannula or simply the code to the computer/treatment room.
We are at their mercy. And more often than not, the consultants don't give a toss. Being nice in return to these awful people may work but for goodness sake I would have received a good slap on my face if I'd behaved like that in front of my parents. I guess it's time to rise above it.
I have hardly come across any doctor who speaks to any allied ealthcare professionals in ways that's described as above (shouting, being rude and constantly undermining behaviour). On the other hand junior doctors just have to get over these ridiculous behaviours.
A lot of this I suppose stems from the fact that junior doctors go through rotations and don't stay on the same speciality or even ward permanently unlike the allied healthcare. This effectively creates an uneven ground between the doctors and the rest. Being new, whether as an F1 or even SHOs on a new ward means that it would be unwise to pick a battle with these people whilst in THEIR territory. One still needs their help to find that elusive tourniquet/cannula or simply the code to the computer/treatment room.
We are at their mercy. And more often than not, the consultants don't give a toss. Being nice in return to these awful people may work but for goodness sake I would have received a good slap on my face if I'd behaved like that in front of my parents. I guess it's time to rise above it.
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