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I'm scared my confidence will drop again
Ever since I was young my mom and relatives have always called me "ugly" and so i have always had a VERY low self-esteem.
However, last year I asked out this really hot guy and he said yes and he used to tell me I’m hot and giving me compliments which improved my confidence dramatically. And my relatives who used to say I am ugly have said that I have gotten prettier over the years. And then this year when I moved into a new school I have been called pretty by several people as well which again, made me more confident about my looks and just myself in general.
However, since I came to this new school, I have liked 3 guys and none of them liked me back. And a couple of days ago I asked out this guy but he declined. He said firstly he was already taken and secondly he doesn’t really fancy me, which has started to make me wonder about just how attractive I am, and maybe I really am not attractive at. After all I have never really had a boyfriend and never got asked out before. And I found out that the guy from last year who said I was hot and whom I had a “thing” with actually cheated on his girlfriend with this really unattractive girl so im thinking maybe he was just lying when he complimented me to make me feel good about myself or something.
And right now the only guy who likes me is this freaky guy who takes the same bus as I to school everyday who is not attractive and annoys me a lot. And another guy who tried it on with me but I declined is not really speaking to me much anymore and he is the type of guy who tries it on with everyone (well the ones he thinks is pretty) and doesn’t REALLY like the girl. And the third one…is a bisexual girl! But I’m straight so that doesn’t work!
So basically after I got rejected by this guy I am feeling kinda miserable, not so much about him, but I am just worried my confidence will drop to the low levels as before when I hated my appearance.
Sorry for the long post. Thank you for any advices on how to stop myself feeling like that
However, last year I asked out this really hot guy and he said yes and he used to tell me I’m hot and giving me compliments which improved my confidence dramatically. And my relatives who used to say I am ugly have said that I have gotten prettier over the years. And then this year when I moved into a new school I have been called pretty by several people as well which again, made me more confident about my looks and just myself in general.
However, since I came to this new school, I have liked 3 guys and none of them liked me back. And a couple of days ago I asked out this guy but he declined. He said firstly he was already taken and secondly he doesn’t really fancy me, which has started to make me wonder about just how attractive I am, and maybe I really am not attractive at. After all I have never really had a boyfriend and never got asked out before. And I found out that the guy from last year who said I was hot and whom I had a “thing” with actually cheated on his girlfriend with this really unattractive girl so im thinking maybe he was just lying when he complimented me to make me feel good about myself or something.
And right now the only guy who likes me is this freaky guy who takes the same bus as I to school everyday who is not attractive and annoys me a lot. And another guy who tried it on with me but I declined is not really speaking to me much anymore and he is the type of guy who tries it on with everyone (well the ones he thinks is pretty) and doesn’t REALLY like the girl. And the third one…is a bisexual girl! But I’m straight so that doesn’t work!
So basically after I got rejected by this guy I am feeling kinda miserable, not so much about him, but I am just worried my confidence will drop to the low levels as before when I hated my appearance.
Sorry for the long post. Thank you for any advices on how to stop myself feeling like that
Reply 1
oops what happened, I just clicked edit and it went :/.
Reply 2
Anyway yea I wouldn't worry about not being pretty enough I think guys go more for personality and style. Most girls seem to go what you are going through its normal.
You mustn't define yourself by what other people think of you - confidence come from the inside, and not from what you look like on the outside. There are plenty of beautiful people who are insecure. Spend time with friends who will help you to validate yourself for things other than looks, and who will correct you when you moan about lack of looks (I bet it's not true, anyway, so don't be afraid they're lying to make you feel better). If you think it would help, go on a shopping trip to buy yourself some new clothes and make-up - it doesn't have to be anything huge, but something to give yourself a bit of a boost. Wearing pretty things makes you feel pretty. 
If you rely on romantic partners to give you self-esteem, you'll crash again - KNOW you're good-looking, and you will be. There are so many different kinds of beauty in the world; it's such a subjective thing - don't let it bother you so much.
If you rely on romantic partners to give you self-esteem, you'll crash again - KNOW you're good-looking, and you will be. There are so many different kinds of beauty in the world; it's such a subjective thing - don't let it bother you so much.Related discussions
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