I've lost my girlfriend over a kiss, what do I do? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
So, I've been, or had been with my girlfriend for just over a year until she broke up with me because she said if hurt her because I kissed a girl. Now I kissed this girl around 3 months into the relationship. The kiss was not intimate, or meaningful, it was not a snog and was certainly not getting off.
The reason I kissed the girl was because she was upset and panicking over a guy she liked and she said she wanted to kiss him but didn't know how. I had been friends with this girl for 5 years, and I knew how nervous she gets.

So in my efforts to help the situation, bare in mind this was at a party, I proceeded to kiss her on the lips (it was a peck if anything) and then I told her, do that to him and the rest should come easy.

Now she did exactly that and she is now in a successful relationship with the guy.

My girlfriend, whom I told the day after about it, said this upset her, and even though I explained to her the situation, she told me that if I ever kissed another girl, she would leave me. I saw this as a major reaction but had reason. So I continued with our relationship, doing everything I can to make it up to her and show her I was sorry for upsetting her.

Now, recently I went to a party, with my girlfriend, and I was greeting all of my friends with hugs, and the girl was there, with her boyfriend. I proceeded to hug the girl...... this caused quite a stir as my girlfriend ran off very upset. She said that our hug was "too close" and it wasn't anything like friends hug, even though I hugged her the same as every other friend I greeted that night, boys and girls. My girlfriend after 2 days of thinking to herself, broke up with me because she said she couldn't trust me and she didn't want to be hurt anymore. +plus note, after this party I walked my girlfriend home, after cheering her up and dancing with her, she didn't mention anything about the hug again.

So I am asking as a man greatly confused and upset.

Am I in the wrong? And how do I prove to my girlfriend (or ex) that she can trust me and that she will not be hurt by me in such a way ever again?
0
reply
jlwman_
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
Do something public.. public affection will show her that you mean srs business
1
reply
angelcake123
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#3
Report 4 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
And how do I prove to my girlfriend (or ex) that she can trust me and that she will not be hurt by me in such a way ever again?
I don't know if you can do that... even if somehow you regained her trust, she would still get upset after every hug or every joke you make with another girl

She needs to regain her confidence and the relationship cannot continue if she is paranoid and doesnt trust you. She needs to sort herself out before you go back with her tbh

Posted from TSR Mobile
0
reply
liquity
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#4
Report 4 years ago
#4
Let her have a break from you, wait for her to miss you. Honestly I'd be very angry as well if my boyfriend had done it, you should have at least asked her about it first to prevent any upset happening. It's quite normal for girlfriends to get jealous over close female friends, let her have some space and if she can trust you again she'll come back to you. If you want her back you should probably stay away from physical contact with this girl friend that you have, and make it obvious to her that you want her back.
0
reply
Swindle
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#5
Report 4 years ago
#5
Apply to be a guest on the Jeremy Kyle show.
9
reply
pickup
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#6
Report 4 years ago
#6
So, you're rather too naive to think you can kiss another girl , on the lips, and it won't have any effect on your girl friend.

She's probably thinking, ' if he does this in public, what is he doing in private??'

I fear you've lost her but learned something, hopefully.
7
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#7
(Original post by jlwman_)
Do something public.. public affection will show her that you mean srs business
I'm a musician, so I write and perform songs. Would writing a song that really put my feelings into words and performing in an event that she's going to be at be too cheesy?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#8
(Original post by pickup)
So, you're rather too naive to think you can kiss another girl , on the lips, and it won't have any effect on your girl friend.

She's probably thinking, ' if he does this in public, what is he doing in private??'


I fear you've lost her but learned something, hopefully.
It's honestly my biggest fear, the thought of losing her. She's been my everything from the start and I know I've ****ed up majorly, and I've taken every lesson I can learn from my actions and experience with her from the past year (my ex) and I'm hoping that by improving myself from these changes, she'll take me back
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#9
(Original post by liquity)
Let her have a break from you, wait for her to miss you. Honestly I'd be very angry as well if my boyfriend had done it, you should have at least asked her about it first to prevent any upset happening. It's quite normal for girlfriends to get jealous over close female friends, let her have some space and if she can trust you again she'll come back to you. If you want her back you should probably stay away from physical contact with this girl friend that you have, and make it obvious to her that you want her back.
I have already gotten rid of all contact with my friend, she understands why I'm doing it and she has taken the unfriending well. I have changed the way I talk to all girls now and, the usual morning hug at sixth form when I meet my friends is something I've scrapped, I've started distancing my way from any girl that may seem a threat or to even have any remote interest in me in that way, I want nothing more for my girlfriend back. Thank you for your advice
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#10
(Original post by angelcake123)
I don't know if you can do that... even if somehow you regained her trust, she would still get upset after every hug or every joke you make with another girl

She needs to regain her confidence and the relationship cannot continue if she is paranoid and doesnt trust you. She needs to sort herself out before you go back with her tbh

Posted from TSR Mobile
How long do you think I should wait to speak to her again or even try get close again?
0
reply
liquity
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#11
Report 4 years ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have already gotten rid of all contact with my friend, she understands why I'm doing it and she has taken the unfriending well. I have changed the way I talk to all girls now and, the usual morning hug at sixth form when I meet my friends is something I've scrapped, I've started distancing my way from any girl that may seem a threat or to even have any remote interest in me in that way, I want nothing more for my girlfriend back. Thank you for your advice
Well you seem to be going the right way about it. However it will take a while for the trust to build up so it will be a long process to get her back but it will be worth it remember thigh, breaking someone's trust in you is like melting a chocolate bar. It changed and it can solidify again but not in the same way as before, she will probably never trust you in the same way again but she can definitely get there
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#12
(Original post by liquity)
Well you seem to be going the right way about it. However it will take a while for the trust to build up so it will be a long process to get her back but it will be worth it remember thigh, breaking someone's trust in you is like melting a chocolate bar. It changed and it can solidify again but not in the same way as before, she will probably never trust you in the same way again but she can definitely get there
Thankyou, I'm willing to wait. There's nothing I want more than to be with her again
0
reply
liquity
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#13
Report 4 years ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thankyou, I'm willing to wait. There's nothing I want more than to be with her again
Well I hope you have learnt your lesson anyway. Lots of reassurance and making her feel like the only girl in the world for you is the way to go about it to build up her trust don't be clingy though!
0
reply
picklescamp
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#14
Report 4 years ago
#14
wouldn't bother me tbh- certainly not enough to break up with someone :-/
0
reply
banterboy
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#15
Report 4 years ago
#15
she's one of those
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#16
(Original post by liquity)
Well I hope you have learnt your lesson anyway. Lots of reassurance and making her feel like the only girl in the world for you is the way to go about it to build up her trust don't be clingy though!
I'm trying to find the balance between being close enough to make her feel like the only girl in the world but I'm trying to distance myself so she has time to come round
0
reply
liquity
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#17
Report 4 years ago
#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm trying to find the balance between being close enough to make her feel like the only girl in the world but I'm trying to distance myself so she has time to come round
I imagine that's difficult, I've never really had this experience so I don't have any suggestions I'm afraid, sorry :P
0
reply
Princess-Leia
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#18
Report 4 years ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
So, I've been, or had been with my girlfriend for just over a year until she broke up with me because she said if hurt her because I kissed a girl. Now I kissed this girl around 3 months into the relationship. The kiss was not intimate, or meaningful, it was not a snog and was certainly not getting off.
The reason I kissed the girl was because she was upset and panicking over a guy she liked and she said she wanted to kiss him but didn't know how. I had been friends with this girl for 5 years, and I knew how nervous she gets.

So in my efforts to help the situation, bare in mind this was at a party, I proceeded to kiss her on the lips (it was a peck if anything) and then I told her, do that to him and the rest should come easy.

Now she did exactly that and she is now in a successful relationship with the guy.

My girlfriend, whom I told the day after about it, said this upset her, and even though I explained to her the situation, she told me that if I ever kissed another girl, she would leave me. I saw this as a major reaction but had reason. So I continued with our relationship, doing everything I can to make it up to her and show her I was sorry for upsetting her.

Now, recently I went to a party, with my girlfriend, and I was greeting all of my friends with hugs, and the girl was there, with her boyfriend. I proceeded to hug the girl...... this caused quite a stir as my girlfriend ran off very upset. She said that our hug was "too close" and it wasn't anything like friends hug, even though I hugged her the same as every other friend I greeted that night, boys and girls. My girlfriend after 2 days of thinking to herself, broke up with me because she said she couldn't trust me and she didn't want to be hurt anymore. +plus note, after this party I walked my girlfriend home, after cheering her up and dancing with her, she didn't mention anything about the hug again.

So I am asking as a man greatly confused and upset.

Am I in the wrong? And how do I prove to my girlfriend (or ex) that she can trust me and that she will not be hurt by me in such a way ever again?
what were u thinking? u thought it was ok to do simply cos u were giving a kissing instruction? im sure this girl knew how to kiss, she didn't need someone elses boyfriend to show her an intimate act, I suppose if she said she didn't know how to have sex u would have shown her too with a real demonstration so she knows where it goes and what it feels like, same as the kiss? ur girlfriend was fine with u hugging everyone else except for the particular girl!!!! u are the reason she is now paranoid, she doesn't have to sort herself out, u made her that way, the only way u stand a chance with her is if u carry on as normal with your friends, greet and hug them an what have ya,, just avoid contact with the girl u kissed, cos ur girlfriend will be on her guard over that girl cos she has a reason to after what happened, all u can do is give her some time and talk to her, but actions speaks louder than words, if u love her and are upset about it then tell her and assure her u wont be near the girl u kissed if it assured ur girlfriend, best of luck
0
reply
Princess-Leia
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#19
Report 4 years ago
#19
(Original post by pickup)
So, you're rather too naive to think you can kiss another girl , on the lips, and it won't have any effect on your girl friend.

She's probably thinking, ' if he does this in public, what is he doing in private??'


I fear you've lost her but learned something, hopefully.
very good point!!!
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#20
(Original post by Princess-Leia)
what were u thinking? u thought it was ok to do simply cos u were giving a kissing instruction? im sure this girl knew how to kiss, she didn't need someone elses boyfriend to show her an intimate act, I suppose if she said she didn't know how to have sex u would have shown her too with a real demonstration so she knows where it goes and what it feels like, same as the kiss? ur girlfriend was fine with u hugging everyone else except for the particular girl!!!! u are the reason she is now paranoid, she doesn't have to sort herself out, u made her that way, the only way u stand a chance with her is if u carry on as normal with your friends, greet and hug them an what have ya,, just avoid contact with the girl u kissed, cos ur girlfriend will be on her guard over that girl cos she has a reason to after what happened, all u can do is give her some time and talk to her, but actions speaks louder than words, if u love her and are upset about it then tell her and assure her u wont be near the girl u kissed if it assured ur girlfriend, best of luck
i would most certainly not engage in anything sexual with another girl. I know kissing her was wrong, even if it was a peck, i shouldn't have done it, no excuse. I have started to change the habits that could even be seen as something to make her uncomfortable, from stopping openly hugging friends to the profanity in the way i talk. i have cut off contact with the girl and my ex knows that im doing everything i can to sort things out. I really am hoping i can fix this, i will never make this kind of mistake or anything remotely correlated to it ever again. Thankyou
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How many uni open days have you been to/did you go to?

0 (22)
24.72%
1 (10)
11.24%
2 (16)
17.98%
3 (11)
12.36%
4 (8)
8.99%
5 (10)
11.24%
6 (2)
2.25%
7+ (10)
11.24%

Watched Threads

View All