Used to be a bully?

there seems to be alot of threads about people being bullied, understandably they cast the bully as the 'bad guy' and their 'victim' as the good guy.

question is is were any of you a bully, and if so why did you do it?

i must admit i was a bully during years 8, 9 and 10, however before this i was always the good kid who respected my elders. mostely im sure the problems started because my parents broke up, my mums new boyfriend was an alcoholic who put on an act to look as if he was a 'goodie two shoes' yet i could see straight through it. when he was due to move in i moved out to my grand parents house and i started to feel more enthuisam for doing work at school, yet my absence persisted and i was forced to resist my GCSE's in order to start my A levels.
i cant quite understand why i did bully people cause when i think about it i just remember doing it and it seemed normal at the time, i guess i could have just been trying to get attention or let out some frustration, i dunno.
that whole 'hit the bully and he wont bother you again' certainly didnt appeal to me, in fact it would have probableys made me feel better in some way.
since i started my A levels i think i returned back to normal and would never even dream about being nasty to people, in fact i despise bullys.

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Reply 1

Louise88

I've never considered myself to be a bully, no. I mean, like everyone else, i've had my moments and i've not been very nice to certain people for whatever reason but I would never go out of my way to upset someone or to make their life a living hell. Yes, i've treated people badly at times but not in a way in which I would consider it "bullying".

Reply 2

Sarky

I was bullied, and i'd hate to think i was a bully. I was a cow sometimes definetely but i don't think i bullied anyone.

I've gotten over my bullying, but i won't forget it. And if i saw my bullies now i would have a lot to say to them. People cope differently with stresses in their lives, but i internalised my problems.

Actually thats not true....i was quite horrible to my little sister when i was around 12-15 :redface:

Reply 3

jbcubed3

I myself wasn't a bully, and was a victim of bullying on numerous occasions. I'm not too sure what bullies really desire, but usually I think it's a means to feel better about themselves, that they think that they are better than some people because bullying gives them a power trip or something.

Reply 4

ßlαcksωαn

Some bullies bully because they were bullied

Reply 5

theredsox

blackswan

Some bullies bully because they were bullied

Yikes. Try saying that sentence fast.

Reply 6

ßlαcksωαn

theredsox

Yikes. Try saying that sentence fast.

It is true though

Reply 7

theredsox

Oh, no doubt it's still true :smile:

Reply 8

mc_hamster

Dac_10

the bully as the 'bad guy' and their 'victim' as the good guy.

I'm afraid in this situation the bully IS the bad guy. You can't put it any other way, yes bullies may have had a hard life but it doesn't excuse it.

Reply 9

Adhsur

mc_hamster

I'm afraid in this situation the bully IS the bad guy. You can't put it any other way, yes bullies may have had a hard life but it doesn't excuse it.

Well said. :smile:

Reply 10

wackysparkle

bullies may have their own issues - but it shouldn't come to a point where innocent people pay the price

Reply 11

ro-ro

my bullies split into two groups: bullies in my tutor group who picked on me in class and bullies on the bus home who threw stuff, hit me, etc.

One of the bullies in my tutor group had my msn and would actually sometimes talk to me like she wasn't the person that mentally tortured me each day. I will never forget when I said to her once why do you do it and her reply was 'Because I can. People make me feel bad so I make you feel bad to make me feel better.' Oh cheers, well then it's ok that I ended up trying to top myself, partly because of you, as long as it makes you feel better.

At the time as well as constant bullying from 9-3.15 my father, godmother and grandmother had died in just one year, my mum's new boyfriend was violent, my mum didn't bother with me because she was too wrapped up in her boyfriend, I had no one to talk to about home that I trusted and i saw none of my family which made me feel rejected and unwanted. Do you know what I never bullied anyone.

Yes kids who bully are usually unhappy and need help but it doesn't excuse their behaviour. It means you should recognise the cause of their behaviour and deal with it if you are an adult (say teacher) it doesn't mean it's ok for them to belittle other people.

Reply 12

wackysparkle

I got bullied all through high school + latter primary school

But oh well - i'm very outspoken now - tripped up the bullies by saying something back - okay so maybe that year was the worst year - but hey - i became more confident and spoke out more - now i'm good -
the bullies are still there - and i still remember them - even at uni - but i don't let them get to me

Reply 13

alleen

My my, I guess I was a bully at one time, but I didn't see it that way. I would tease just about anyone if I could get away with it. It just seemed the natural thing to do. I had serious issues then that I didn't recognise, but in the end I started feeling really awful about what I was doing.

Reply 14

Fluent in Lies

I once made the class bully say really loudly "I AM THE STUPIDEST PERSON IN THE CLASS", he then realised what he had said and started crying. Does that make me a bully too? :frown:

Reply 15

wackysparkle

I made my bullies ring up my parents to apologise when they prank called the previous nite :wink:

Reply 16

Lex Talionis

A lot of the people who seem to be "semi-bullies" seem to do it because they feel it's "natural." There's just something not right about that.

Reply 17

aleathiel

Fluent in Lies

I once made the class bully say really loudly "I AM THE STUPIDEST PERSON IN THE CLASS", he then realised what he had said and started crying. Does that make me a bully too? :frown:

wow how did you manage to make him say that... unless ofcourse he was that stupid!

Reply 18

Tw!stEd

I was bullied a fair bit, so in reaction to that I proberly bullied some people back....
However alot of people I thought I bullied, said I didn't really bully them, I was just quite harsh sometimes, when I spoke to them all on the alst days n apoligised for anything I said.

Reply 19

browzer-911

i was what would now be referred to a "chav" between yrs 7 - 10, and yes i guess i was involved with some bullying, however i wised up after a shaky incident and went the education route in life, rather than the delinquent route.

witnessing and being part of bullying never seemed to bother me though back then because i always had a very strong personality, and my then "friends" sometimes tried to bully me (eg ive never touched a cigarette, despite everyone i associated with being break and lunchtime smokers. They always tried to give me stick for that), failed, so i just assumed everyone was resistant to it and those that werent were just being pansies.

Obviously i know alot better now.

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