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being half deaf

Saffie

ah.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

you deserve to have friends and relationships with others just make them aware of your half deaf problem at the start if they dont then want to chat then you know that ur too good for them .dont worry about other people .just be happy

Reply 2

Seoid

This might seem like a totallly stupid question, but do you have a hearing aid? Would it be possible to get one?

Other than that I think you should explain to people because they'll be totally understanding and I think people prefer to know these things as it makes it easier on them too. My sister has a problem with her hand so she just says it straight away and then there's no weirdness surrounding it.

Reply 3

Saffie

Seoid

This might seem like a totallly stupid question, but do you have a hearing aid? Would it be possible to get one?

i have one but it really makes hardly any difference whatsoever. (it's in the ear and i wear my hair down so no-ones noticed..)

yeah its harder to tell people now i've left it a while :s-smilie:

Reply 4

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

Just tell them flippantly then.

If they say something you can't hear, just laugh and say "you'll have to speak up, that's my bad ear".
Then if they look surprised, say something like "what? You didn't know? Wow I thought you did, I normally tell everybody!"

They'll just think it slipped your mind to mention it - no big deal.

Reply 5

scribble_girl

My mum is half deaf; in her right ear. Trust me, you're not the only one, but it can be SUCH a pain :s-smilie:

When I was little I had to always sit on her correct side, and there's even just the little things, like, if she can't actually see where it is, she can't find her phone when it rings because she can't tell which direction to go to.

She's used to living with it, although when she was younger it nearly got her killed (she ran into the sea at 7 and the wind was in the wrong direction so she couldn't hear her parents - landed up on some rocks & my grandad gashed his leg open saving her - bless!)
I think people are generally very accomodating when they know that you're half deaf. Don't let it define you - one working ear, no working ears or two, you're still the same person - but saying 'oh god, I'm so sorry; I'm deaf in my left/right ear and didn't hear you the other day' isn't going to change what people think of you. It might make you feel like you appear less aloof though :smile:

Don't be embarassed about it at all ... it's not like you asked for it! If you don't let it become an issue it will be, but people are a lot more understanding than you think they are. It's easy just to brush off, and it shouldn't define you.. it doesn't change you as a person. Go out as much as you like, do what you want. You're not 'disabled', you've just got one little thing that isn't perfect - everyone's got imperfections.. (god i'm sorry this is sounding SO cliched).

Seriously, don't not be yourself because of it, or you'll look back and think of all the fun you missed. If someone says something you don't catch, ask again! They won't think you're wierd or stupid. If you feel really self-concious, just tell them, or make a joke about it or something - people will just accept it as a part of you - so should you :smile:

Reply 6

The OK Kid Computer Thief

My best friend has been half deaf most of his life, and everyone's just got used to being on the right side/being patient when he mis-hears things...

You're definately not alone!

Reply 7

Jonesy_LJ

I think you're imagining it to be a much greater deal to other people than it actually is. I've a friend who's deaf in one ear and nobody really cares, it's a just a minor inconvenience to have to have to sit on one side of them, it just sort of becomes an unwritten law that if we're all somewhere then he'll be sat in the leftmost seat.

Of course if you feel really self conscious about it, and you're worried about hearing people in conversation, I suppose you could always do something like learn to lip read. Just a thought.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

OP - I have always been deaf in one ear too and feel exactly the same way about the things that you have described! People may say that "it is no problem", but I have to agree that it is kind of embarassing to have to admit it to people constantly, particularly when you don't know them very well. Conversations in public places are immensely difficult, and working with a partner in class who is sat on the wrong side is frustrating. You're not alone!

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

Saffie

i have one but it really makes hardly any difference whatsoever. (it's in the ear and i wear my hair down so no-ones noticed..)

Analogue or digital? I would have thought it should make some difference - go back to your audiologist perhaps?

It really lowers my self confidence- i dont see why anyone would want a relationship with me being kinda "disabled"... arghhhhhh.

Can you see how that's irrational? No-one's perfect - would you not want a relationship with the perfect man because he wore glasses/contact lenses? What's more likely to stand in the way of relationships is the self-confidence.

Jonesy_LJ's suggestion about lip-reading is interesting. I'm deaf in both ears (mild-moderate) and find that helps hugely at times. Not sure if it's something you can consciously be taught though - i've always seemed to have done it.

Saffie

People actually just have NO idea how hard my life is and how hard I have to try and how damn easy/ lucky they have it. And I'm too embarrased to explain.

To be honest, if you don't explain then you can't really feel angry towards them for not being more helpful - you need to give people a chance! Possibly because you've only just started uni people haven't realised and in time they might.
But if as you said you think it's influencing the way you come across ('aloof') then the longer they don't they're going to think that's just you. Personally I'd consider telling the next person you have difficulties in conversation with.
I don't really remember telling people though, I just wore my hair up from time to time (easier for lectures and sport anyway) and they probably noticed! That might be a more subtle way of doing it?

Reply 10

Pandy

It's never too late to tell someone :smile:

If you meet them and they talk to the wrong side of you, just say you're deaf in one ear. Most people who are worth the effort won't care at all and will just talk to you so you can hear them.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Analogue or digital? I would have thought it should make some difference - go back to your audiologist perhaps?

I tried a digital hearing aid, but the problem was that because the sound is being processed, it takes a moment to hear it. This means that you hear a sound in your OK ear, and then a split second later you hear it through the hearing aid in your deaf ear, causing an uncomfortable "echo" of sound.

I find that most people are helpful, however I had a very bad experience at the beginning of uni when I told some people and they thought it was a big joke and laughed about it. It took several weeks until they realised it was true. :frown:

Reply 12

Saffie

Anonymous

Analogue or digital? I would have thought it should make some difference - go back to your audiologist perhaps?digital. No, all it does is amplify what i can already hear with my other ear.

There are lots of poss reasons why it could be... basically nothing to amplify/ abnormal sounds being amplified or my brain ignoring or not understanding the sounds (I got the aid when i was 17).

Erm, yes, you're probably right. Stigma's a funny thing though...

Jonesy_LJ's suggestion about lip-reading is interesting. I'm deaf in both ears (mild-moderate) and find that helps hugely at times. Not sure if it's something you can consciously be taught though - i've always seemed to have done it.

lip-reading is notoriously difficult to pick up and they say that unless you were born deaf it's really unlikely that you'll be able to do it.

anyway, its good to know i'm not the only one in the world with this problem (not that i'd actually wish it on anyone) and thanks for telling me other's won't care :smile:

Reply 13

Louise88

It's best to just get it out in the open, it's never too late to tell someone about it. I know it might be easier said than done but why put yourself through all that worry when you could tell people, have them understand and get rid of all the bad feelings that you have right now?

Telling someone will make things much easier, and make you feel better. Just be honest with people, tell them that you were worried about telling them, people will be a lot more understanding than you might think.