I dont feel appreciated by my gf enough...

and i very very rarely get anything back.. its a bit like trying to invest in a business but u never get a return...
How do i go about this problem ?

Reply 1

LipGloss

Dump her and date me. :biggrin:

Reply 2

Atomic Dave

8

Sit her down and have an honest talk about how you feel?

Reply 3

mangomaz

14

Are you showering her with too much affection? You may have been saying things like that so much that it doesnt really mean anything to her anymore so she sees no point saying anything in return. Or she just doesnt feel the same way. She might not be with you for looks.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I'm in the opposite situation. I tell my man how clever, handsome he is, cook for him and even bathe him sometimes. Although he used to tell me how gorgeous I am he doesn't so much now. Gonna have to have to talk to him methinks.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

lol, maybe I'm bathing him with too much affection. Gonna be mean from now on.

Reply 6

TheThirdMan

1

lol, maybe I'm bathing him with too much affection. Gonna be mean from now on.

Use a brillo pad and take some skin!

Reply 7

IndianDiva

I think maybe you should talk to her about it. You can't really just "guess" why she doesn't compliment you enough or show you enough affection. She might not realise you're expecting it.

Reply 8

LipGloss

Anon 1, if this makes you feel better, the only time I recall my boyfriend paying me a compliment about my looks/body was when he was still try to get me to sleep with him.

Reply 9

sssh

10

mangomaz

Are you showering her with too much affection? You may have been saying things like that so much that it doesnt really mean anything to her anymore so she sees no point saying anything in return. Or she just doesnt feel the same way. She might not be with you for looks.

This. And also, she might just not be one of those people who says things like this all the time, she might not be comfortable with it. Or she might not realise that you want to be showered with compliments all the time. Btw, a business/return analogy is not the best way to see your relationship...

Reply 10

hippieglitter

19

mangomaz

Are you showering her with too much affection? You may have been saying things like that so much that it doesnt really mean anything to her anymore so she sees no point saying anything in return. Or she just doesnt feel the same way. She might not be with you for looks.

When i first got with my boyfriend i wasn't with him for his looks but i have grown to find him attractive lookswise. If she likes his personality she should thinks he is gorgeous whether he is or not. People see people differently and usually getting to know someone over a period of time the way you see them develops to match their personality. I've known people who were really goodlooking when i first met them but had a horrible personality but the way i veiw them now they are not as goodlooking as i once thought because their personality works against them and others including my boyfriend who were just average looking but have a lovely personality, have changed in my eyes with looks to match their personality. Then there is also the occasional person with gorgeous looks and a gorgeous personality to match, like my best friend.
Also agree with what sssh said she may not be comfortable showing affection. My boyfriend only says 'i love you' when we are alone, whereas i say it all the time, because his parents are ex-navy and they see showing emotion as a sign of weakness, so he is not in a habit of showing his emotions and does not like doing it.

Reply 11

Louise88

My boyfriend showers me with compliments, he is very sweet about my looks and my personality and he always tells me what he likes about me. I just don't deal with compliments very well, I find them difficult to take which means I always find them difficult to give sometimes. It's not because I don't think those things, i'm just... weird lol I don't know.

I sat him down and spoke to him about it, as you should do with your partner. I know it will be slightly different since it's you that is addressing the problem but it's the same situation. Tell her how you feel and sort things out that way, don't just guess why she isn't like that with you.

Reply 12

username47781

20

Relationships are based on honesty and communication, you need to tell her how you feel and ask if she does feel the same about you. At the same time you don't want to tell her you love her every 5 minutes.

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

does she do other things to show her appreciation? compliments arent the only way..stuff like surprising you with lunch..or arranging stuff for you to do together..or taking part in a hobby she knows you enjoy but maybe shes not into?

Reply 14

lljaneth

Anonymous

does she do other things to show her appreciation? compliments arent the only way..stuff like surprising you with lunch..or arranging stuff for you to do together..or taking part in a hobby she knows you enjoy but maybe shes not into?

yeah people show their appreciation in different ways. how long have you been going out? sometimes it takes time to be open enough to compliment your bf/gf easily..

Reply 15

Chumbaniya

17

I'm generally very poor at complimenting people, so when I first started going out with my girlfriend I didn't say nice things about her half as much as she said them about me, but it wasn't because I didn't think much of her. It just took me a while to get used to telling her what I thought of her. So don't assume that it's necessarily because she doesn't like you that much. Probably the best thing to do - as is virtually always the case with everything ever posted about relationships in this forum - is talk to her.