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Meeting a guy from the internet... hotel room.. give me advice.. what do i do?!!
Okay, so i was on an internet chatroom about a month ago, just looking for friendly banter. Anyway, got talking to this guy, who is 23. I'm 18, a girl.
We really hit it off over convo, and he never asked for any naked pics/etc etc, was really nice and genuine (it seems), and we would just chat for hours into the night about random crap, but he knew what i looked like, and said i was hot etc. anyway, on valentines day we decided to just be eachothers valentine, just for fun. then a few days later (we'd only been cahtting a week), he said he was falling for me.. and i was for him i think. i've never had a boyfriend before, am a virgin.. he knows this. i also have a lot of insecurities about myself.. and he said he's always there to help and that he really wants to help me sort myself out.
We kept talking for about 3 more weeks, got closer, exchanged numbers and called eachohter a few times and texted loads. Online, we discussed sex. he said he wants me to go at my own pace, that he's willing to wait for me and that he would only sleep with me if he knew i loved him. and thing is, i think i do, but i still have doubts for some reason.. i think it's the fact i met him from internet chatroom.. and that he's 5 years older than me. but he seems so sincere and sweet.he's not the worlds greatest looker, and he says he has insecurities in himself too.
anyway, our chats started taking a more adult tone here and there.. practically cybersex but we didn't show eachother anything.
He wants to take me to london, for a weekend at the beginning of my easter hols, and he's booking a 5 star hotel which i've looked up and is bloody expensive. He's booking to see sights like London Eye and Maddam taussauds, he says he just wants to spend his time with me and only wants to treat me to the best. Oh by the way, he's quite rich - an independant stockbroker, but he doesn't brag about it.
We met for the first time on thursday, he came to my uni town, travelling about 300 miles to spend the day with me, we had lunch, went to the cinema.. had a fumble(!) which i enjoyed... and then for a few drinks, and he left at 7pm. i felt something for him.. he was so charming, funny and smooth.
Thing is, i haven't told anyone about him, not even my housemates. Is this something i should be ashamed of? I feel like things are going so fast, i'm being thrown into the deep end but i cant stop myself, i really like him.
I just don't wanna get hurt.. and does it sound like i will? Does this guy sound too good to be true, is his age reflecting that maybe he's a real sweet talker? Does he really love me? Should i find out? SHould i be ashamed of the situation? Does he just want me for sex, and can anyone act this long?
I'm so confused!
Help me see this more clearly and please, be objective.
We really hit it off over convo, and he never asked for any naked pics/etc etc, was really nice and genuine (it seems), and we would just chat for hours into the night about random crap, but he knew what i looked like, and said i was hot etc. anyway, on valentines day we decided to just be eachothers valentine, just for fun. then a few days later (we'd only been cahtting a week), he said he was falling for me.. and i was for him i think. i've never had a boyfriend before, am a virgin.. he knows this. i also have a lot of insecurities about myself.. and he said he's always there to help and that he really wants to help me sort myself out.
We kept talking for about 3 more weeks, got closer, exchanged numbers and called eachohter a few times and texted loads. Online, we discussed sex. he said he wants me to go at my own pace, that he's willing to wait for me and that he would only sleep with me if he knew i loved him. and thing is, i think i do, but i still have doubts for some reason.. i think it's the fact i met him from internet chatroom.. and that he's 5 years older than me. but he seems so sincere and sweet.he's not the worlds greatest looker, and he says he has insecurities in himself too.
anyway, our chats started taking a more adult tone here and there.. practically cybersex but we didn't show eachother anything.
He wants to take me to london, for a weekend at the beginning of my easter hols, and he's booking a 5 star hotel which i've looked up and is bloody expensive. He's booking to see sights like London Eye and Maddam taussauds, he says he just wants to spend his time with me and only wants to treat me to the best. Oh by the way, he's quite rich - an independant stockbroker, but he doesn't brag about it.
We met for the first time on thursday, he came to my uni town, travelling about 300 miles to spend the day with me, we had lunch, went to the cinema.. had a fumble(!) which i enjoyed... and then for a few drinks, and he left at 7pm. i felt something for him.. he was so charming, funny and smooth.
Thing is, i haven't told anyone about him, not even my housemates. Is this something i should be ashamed of? I feel like things are going so fast, i'm being thrown into the deep end but i cant stop myself, i really like him.
I just don't wanna get hurt.. and does it sound like i will? Does this guy sound too good to be true, is his age reflecting that maybe he's a real sweet talker? Does he really love me? Should i find out? SHould i be ashamed of the situation? Does he just want me for sex, and can anyone act this long?
I'm so confused!
Help me see this more clearly and please, be objective.
Scroll to see replies
I think whatever you do you should be very careful, me personaly i would not meet him, as you always hear about these things on television.
Maybe ask him if you can take a friend with you, as it is your first time in meeting him, just make an excuse say you dont like going anywhere alon or something, at least thn you wouldnt be alone.
Maybe speak to your parents and friends ad see what they say.
PLEASE be careful
x
Maybe ask him if you can take a friend with you, as it is your first time in meeting him, just make an excuse say you dont like going anywhere alon or something, at least thn you wouldnt be alone.
Maybe speak to your parents and friends ad see what they say.
PLEASE be careful
x
18 and 23 is fine . if you really like him theres no harm in telling people about him but id be slightly wary just because youmet him online
xxSAMMIxx
I think whatever you do you should be very careful, me personaly i would not meet him, as you always hear about these things on television.
Maybe ask him if you can take a friend with you, as it is your first time in meeting him, just make an excuse say you dont like going anywhere alon or something, at least thn you wouldnt be alone.
Maybe speak to your parents and friends ad see what they say.
PLEASE be careful
x
Maybe ask him if you can take a friend with you, as it is your first time in meeting him, just make an excuse say you dont like going anywhere alon or something, at least thn you wouldnt be alone.
Maybe speak to your parents and friends ad see what they say.
PLEASE be careful
x
Have you actually read the post
Sorry but from an objective viewpoint this looks really dodgy. For someone so smooth and charming you'd think he'd be able to find a girl in RL. I don't think it would at all be wise to go to London with him. I don't think you can really be in love with someone who felt you up once in a darkened room. Seriously please reconsider that you love him. Yes, you've talked to him on the internet, but what you've read on your computer screen is not a real indication of his whole personality. For instance, he's not voluntarily going to show you the bad side of him, is he?
Also, if you do decide to go to London and stay with him in the hotel, whatever you say to the contrary, he is expecting you to have sex with him. You sound surprised that he is willingly paying for 5-star hotels...it's because he wants you to sleep with him; so you feel like you owe him. Classic situation. Even if you're completely OK with this, afterwards, there is nothing to stop him buggering off and you never seeing him again. To me, it does sound like you are going to get hurt.
Please promise me that whatever you do, if you go to London with him, tell your mum and dad. Sound scary? Well, perhaps you shouldn't be doing it, then.
Also, if you do decide to go to London and stay with him in the hotel, whatever you say to the contrary, he is expecting you to have sex with him. You sound surprised that he is willingly paying for 5-star hotels...it's because he wants you to sleep with him; so you feel like you owe him. Classic situation. Even if you're completely OK with this, afterwards, there is nothing to stop him buggering off and you never seeing him again. To me, it does sound like you are going to get hurt.
Please promise me that whatever you do, if you go to London with him, tell your mum and dad. Sound scary? Well, perhaps you shouldn't be doing it, then.
you have to get to know this person better, its best to trsut someone after knowing them longer, this guy may have told you a bunch of lies, he may not even be a stockbroker. Sure he may have spent alot of money already, but that maybe just a loan. You got to know this guy better before doing anythin, especially sex, because your a virgin. You may regret it if it turns out this guy isn't what you expect.
He sounds alright but I would meet up with him a few more times before you share a hotel room with him.
shes already met him once.
I'd say he seems geniune but the hotel room might have been intended to be sweet and instead has come across a bit scary.
talk to him about your fears and see what he says.
Generally these things are fine, ive met up with people i met on the internet, it sounds so taboo but the majority of people are nice and not weirdos.
that said, dont do anything you're not comfortable with, telll someone where you're going and the minute anything doesn't feel right, get out, dont worry about "hurting his feelings" your safety is paramount
I'd say he seems geniune but the hotel room might have been intended to be sweet and instead has come across a bit scary.
talk to him about your fears and see what he says.
Generally these things are fine, ive met up with people i met on the internet, it sounds so taboo but the majority of people are nice and not weirdos.
that said, dont do anything you're not comfortable with, telll someone where you're going and the minute anything doesn't feel right, get out, dont worry about "hurting his feelings" your safety is paramount
xxSAMMIxx
I think whatever you do you should be very careful, me personaly i would not meet him, as you always hear about these things on television.
Maybe ask him if you can take a friend with you, as it is your first time in meeting him, just make an excuse say you dont like going anywhere alon or something, at least thn you wouldnt be alone.
Maybe speak to your parents and friends ad see what they say.
PLEASE be careful
x
Maybe ask him if you can take a friend with you, as it is your first time in meeting him, just make an excuse say you dont like going anywhere alon or something, at least thn you wouldnt be alone.
Maybe speak to your parents and friends ad see what they say.
PLEASE be careful
x
She already said she met him.
Tbh the whole London, 5 star hotel thing is a bit too much, kinda like hes trying to 'lure' you to him with that one. I think that you should just see him more like him coming to see you at uni. And if you think that that would be too much trouble for him travelling up then think what its going to be like if you start to go out properly. I dont think you should go out with him for the sake of it if youre seduced by the idea of having a boyfriend, you could meet someone in uni. ah i dont know hun, I guess if you have feelings for him. Dont rush into anything though.
xxSAMMIxx
I think whatever you do you should be very careful, me personaly i would not meet him, as you always hear about these things on television.
Maybe ask him if you can take a friend with you, as it is your first time in meeting him, just make an excuse say you dont like going anywhere alon or something, at least thn you wouldnt be alone.
Maybe speak to your parents and friends ad see what they say.
PLEASE be careful
x
Maybe ask him if you can take a friend with you, as it is your first time in meeting him, just make an excuse say you dont like going anywhere alon or something, at least thn you wouldnt be alone.
Maybe speak to your parents and friends ad see what they say.
PLEASE be careful
x
I have met him before, once, we spent about 7 hours together when he travelled 300 miles to meet me after uni.
I just don't have any experience with guys, so i don't know how good a judge of character i am.
Have you people actually read the post?
She met him last week when he visited her uni town.
Only go to London with him if you're comfortable with him and think what he says is genuine. Make sure someone knows where you are and arrange with them that they'll phone you everyday to check you're okay.
Make sure you have an escape plan? I mean, a way of getting home if things go wrong. How long are you going to London with him for are you travelling there together or meeting in the city?
Its risky, you dont know this guy BUT i dont really see meeting people on the internet any different once you've got the initial meeting them etc over with.
Dont go if you have any doubts about it, i wouldnt go personally i think its too soon considering you've only met once. Are you planning on meeting up again before London?
I dont see the expensive hotel as him trying to get you to have sex with him like others do. I've shared a hotel room with guys before and we havent had sex
She met him last week when he visited her uni town.
Only go to London with him if you're comfortable with him and think what he says is genuine. Make sure someone knows where you are and arrange with them that they'll phone you everyday to check you're okay.
Make sure you have an escape plan? I mean, a way of getting home if things go wrong. How long are you going to London with him for are you travelling there together or meeting in the city?
Its risky, you dont know this guy BUT i dont really see meeting people on the internet any different once you've got the initial meeting them etc over with.
Dont go if you have any doubts about it, i wouldnt go personally i think its too soon considering you've only met once. Are you planning on meeting up again before London?
I dont see the expensive hotel as him trying to get you to have sex with him like others do. I've shared a hotel room with guys before and we havent had sex
He's just like all the rest.
Online relationships are bad!
LDR's are even worse.
Steer clear!
Online relationships are bad!
LDR's are even worse.
Steer clear!
Sounds alright to me.
I have met up with lots of people I have met on the net. Most of which through the MG owners club. I havent met a weirdo yet!
Id go for it. If you are worried about the room thing why dont you ask if you could step the star rating down and have ajoining rooms instead?
I have met up with lots of people I have met on the net. Most of which through the MG owners club. I havent met a weirdo yet!
Id go for it. If you are worried about the room thing why dont you ask if you could step the star rating down and have ajoining rooms instead?
The things that stand out to me most are:
1) the age and experience gap between the two of you
2) the fact he's booking the hotel - have you already given him the idea you would definitely go?
BECAUSE
1) yes, it's dodgy for an older man to find a girl on the internet (where exactly? It's a big place and bumping into someone on a forum with a shared interest is different to trawling on more underground sites).
2) I know you're inexperienced with men, but you need to make your responses very clear even if it's uncomfortable to come out with "I'm not ready for that" it's VERY important.
There's no harm in saying "I'm not ready for that yet". Especially as you seem to want to have sex with the right person. Don't rush it, you can't undo it.
Having said that, I'm hardly one to talk. I met a boy off the internet, met up with him and slept with him that night. However, there was accountability because we were both members of a larger forum and we were the same age and in the same position in life. i.e. it wasn't a meeting that was out of the ordinary per se because, apart from the distance, we could easily have bumped into one. another. For an 18 year old to bump into a "rich" 23 year old is slightly less likely.
Take what he says with a pinch of salt. Be wary. Be assertive. If you're uncomfortable then it ISN'T right. The poster who said if you can't tell your parents about it, you should think again is ABSOLUTELY spot on.
1) the age and experience gap between the two of you
2) the fact he's booking the hotel - have you already given him the idea you would definitely go?
BECAUSE
1) yes, it's dodgy for an older man to find a girl on the internet (where exactly? It's a big place and bumping into someone on a forum with a shared interest is different to trawling on more underground sites).
2) I know you're inexperienced with men, but you need to make your responses very clear even if it's uncomfortable to come out with "I'm not ready for that" it's VERY important.
There's no harm in saying "I'm not ready for that yet". Especially as you seem to want to have sex with the right person. Don't rush it, you can't undo it.
Having said that, I'm hardly one to talk. I met a boy off the internet, met up with him and slept with him that night. However, there was accountability because we were both members of a larger forum and we were the same age and in the same position in life. i.e. it wasn't a meeting that was out of the ordinary per se because, apart from the distance, we could easily have bumped into one. another. For an 18 year old to bump into a "rich" 23 year old is slightly less likely.
Take what he says with a pinch of salt. Be wary. Be assertive. If you're uncomfortable then it ISN'T right. The poster who said if you can't tell your parents about it, you should think again is ABSOLUTELY spot on.
I have discussed my fears about him, he says he doesnt want to push me into anything.
he wants to meet up again on thursday.
i'm not scared he's gonna kidnap or rape me, he seems decent. and kind, and genuine and nice.
And the reason why he hasnt met girls in RL.. well he says he does his stockbroking from home. I do think he's a stockbroker, i asked and he talked about it in detail. does it seem like he's trying to lure me then? I mean yeah, i do feel pressure just from the situation, and the hotel rooom.. but he says he wants me at my own pace, he just wants time with me.
Everything he says seems sound.. it's just the situation i'm immensely aware of..
thank you for you comments so far
he wants to meet up again on thursday.
i'm not scared he's gonna kidnap or rape me, he seems decent. and kind, and genuine and nice.
And the reason why he hasnt met girls in RL.. well he says he does his stockbroking from home. I do think he's a stockbroker, i asked and he talked about it in detail. does it seem like he's trying to lure me then? I mean yeah, i do feel pressure just from the situation, and the hotel rooom.. but he says he wants me at my own pace, he just wants time with me.
Everything he says seems sound.. it's just the situation i'm immensely aware of..
thank you for you comments so far
Why use anonymous?
Silly.
Silly.
i know people who are 19 and 32 that have been going out for 5 years at first i thought yuk but age doesnt matter to them
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