Afraid to let people get close to me.

I Don't like people getting to close to me.
I'm ok with being friends, and if i like a guy, i'll get close to him, but as soon as he tries to get close to me, i'll start pushing him away.
whats wrong with me? :confused:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I dont know.. but I have the same thing, anyway - check 'schizoid disorder' in google maybe it wil give you a clue,

cheers

Reply 2

Profesh

Control-freak?

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

I'm also the same. I start pushing people away when they get too close. I also come across quite nasty when people first meet me.

Reply 4

high priestess fnord

Profesh

Control-freak?

i know that was part of my problem before my bf tied me down :p:

(in the metaphorical sense of course)

Reply 5

Yoda

Perhaps its because "getting close to you" is him becoming clingy. Maybe they're just **** at relationships. Who knows. Aside from me. And now you, since I've just told you.

Don't feel like you still have to like someone if they start pissing you off.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

me too, I am wondering what are the psychological basis for such behaviour? It's quite annoying, cuz sometimes I really want to meet somebody, be nice, kind, show somehow my interest - but then the RED light turns on and I can't make it - it results in being rude, cold etc...

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Anonymous

I dont know.. but I have the same thing, anyway - check 'schizoid disorder' in google maybe it wil give you a clue,

cheers

Some of the stuff said there was true, but not the bit about being indifferent to praise and critacism,-i'm actually really sensitive.
I'm going to go with not being a shizoid, but thanks anyway.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Reply 9

shavenwookiee

Anonymous

I dont know.. but I have the same thing, anyway - check 'schizoid disorder' in google maybe it wil give you a clue,

cheers

Quite clearly the OP has this. Quite clearly.

Muppet, lol

Reply 10

Enchanté

Nerves?

Reply 11

Rooftopcowboy

I let very few people close to me, as past experience has led me to believe its best policy. Theres very few people who could properly upset me (and i mean completely devastate me) and they are people ive known for years.

It doesn't mean i don't make friends, quite the opposite, i just don't tell everyone my life story, my feelings etc until ive known them ages, as ive learnt that nasty characters can use the information to stab you in the back.

Reply 12

RealityIsDull

Maybe your scared of getting hurt, so by pushing them away somehow you think they cant get close enough to be able to hurt you?

Reply 13

Raindroped

I'm the same as you OP. I avoid potential bad/embarressing situations by not putting myself in that position. It's stupid and i have regretted so many things, i get nervous and i can get stupidly shy sometimes as well.
I don't like people getting close to me for fear that im not in control, i don't know whats going to happen and most of all i don't want to get hurt.

There's nothing wrong with you! But if what you are doing is making you unhappy change it. Step out of your comfort zone once in a while, you may be suprised.

Reply 14

JC.

high priestess fnord

i know that was part of my problem before my bf tied me down :p:

(in the metaphorical sense of course)

and just exactly whats wrong with the physical sense?!
:wink:

Reply 15

Rooftopcowboy

RealityIsDull

Maybe your scared of getting hurt, so by pushing them away somehow you think they cant get close enough to be able to hurt you?

I think the important thing is finding the right balance.

some people I know attach themselves to people after literally 5mins, start saying they are best friends etc...when they barely know the real person. Sure they know what they like, where they come from, what music they are in to etc etc

but they've not been friends with them in a crisis, whether it be a 'superficial' crisis such as an argument with another friend, or a serious issue. And they don't know how the 'friend' acts in said scenario. Ie you don't know if this new found friend will be there for you when you most need them.

For example ive always found it baffling at uni (im now in year2) how many people declare that other students are their best-friend, after knowing them a matter of months...personally despite living with people at uni, i still wouldn't confide much in them. It takes me years to completely trust someone.

so i think finding the right balance is important, on one hand you can be an emotionless near 'robot' by not letting people into your life, on the other you can get hurt when that new found 'perfect' friend you've found turns out to be a backstabber.

Reply 16

Anonymous #4

very badly same, defence mechanisms plus..do you like yousrelf fully?

Reply 17

Anonymous #5

You're insecure.

Reply 18

Jillie Boe

I'm like that. My past 3 relationships have lasted 2 weeks. I just can't handle it. I don't know why. I've never had a bad relationship or anything to set this thing off. I just panic and get really sick and ill when in relationships so break it off.

Do you like being single? Cos I absoloutely love it and I'm probably just not ready to be in a commited relationship. Maybe it's the same for you.