shyness making me depressed

i cannot really afford to be feeling this way as a I have a lot of study to do, but am feeling very lonely because i haven't made many friends at uni. i am a postgrad student so most of the people doing the same courses as myself are from overseas, and tend to only hang around with their own friends who speak their language. i'd really love to meet some more local people to talk to, and hang out with but it's really tough, and its making me feel really down. i am from australia btw.

Reply 1

Butterfly

Ahh are there post-grad societies at the uni? There will probably be a mature students one so you could try that I guess. Which uni is it?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

errr... i'm only 23, so mature students thingies aren't too good for me; they are mostly for people over 30. there is one PG society, but they seem to be made up of older people too. the 'mature' guys are great to talk to, but i don't see myself partying with them. :|

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

i was thinking of asking on myspace or something but that is very embarrassing.

Reply 4

Butterfly

Well there isn't anything to stop you joining the usual societies for things you are interested in, but maybe if they are mostly full of 18/19 year olds that would put you off, as they will be having a different uni experience as freshers, than you as a postgrad, but if it is partying you're after that doesn't seem like the worst thing...

Are you into any sports? You mentioned meeting locals, so if you're in a big town/city which you probably are, join a local team as opposed to a uni one?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

sorry, i should rephrase that... im a bit over the party thing, but i'd like to meet people whom i could regard as being good friends. y'know, those that you can (reasonably) call up and ask to go out and do whatever most of the time.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

i do have a couple of mates who are good in that sense, but they are working full time and also have partners who take up pretty much all their time.

Reply 7

Butterfly

Go along to your local pub and sit there looking miserable and nursing a pint. Someone will take pity on you! No seriously, which city are you in and are you staying in PG halls or private accomm, what are your housemates like?

Reply 8

Butterfly

Maybe if you found a girlfriend/boyfriend maybe you could be introduced to their circle of friends...although of course I am not saying go and find a partner for this exact purpose but...

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

i live in the 5th largest city in Australia, which is also where I go to University. I am still living at home, as I have a car to pay off, otherwise i'd be living on my own.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Butterfly

Maybe if you found a girlfriend/boyfriend maybe you could be introduced to their circle of friends...although of course I am not saying go and find a partner for this exact purpose but...

Y'know, I could live with having a partner and then a bunch of crappy friends. That's not attractive to meeting a partner though (being a loner).

Reply 11

frank01277779

Having a gf and no friends is **** though, it'll mess you up, so don't do that.

Making friends is hard, most friends tend to be made from people being in the same situation at the same time (ie. school, uni, work...) but for you, I'm not sure...Try the myspace thing though, why would you be embarassed by it? As long as you don't send messages saying "Please be my friend, OMG I'm so lonely" I'm sure people will start chatting and stuff, and then you'll find out what plans people have and they might start inviting you to things...

As long as you have some redeeming features you should be fine tbh, as long as you do something pro-active about it.