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Flatmate/holiday troubles :(

I just got back from a three day holiday with my two flatmates. They both brought their boyfriends along, and one of them brought two of her guy friends. Obviously, I was the "odd one out" and consequently was ignored for most of the three days. Which is fair enough, I can deal with the fact that they wanted to spend more time with their boyfriends than with me.

What I'm not happy about is being treated like a tour guide the entire time. I was the only one who had been to the city before, so I was the one everyone turned to when they needed to know how to find some place, etc. As an aside, before we went, I spent hours online looking for hotels, restaurants, maps, entertainment venues, bus timetables, etc.

But when we got back, my flatmates had a go at me and told me how selfish I was being the whole trip. Because I didn't want to go to expensive restaurants (because I can't afford them, obviously). We're all students, so I thought we were all on student budgets, but obviously not. Whenever we looked for a restaurant, we would go past tonnes of reasonably priced restaurants and they all would just walk past them (when I asked what was wrong with them, they didn't have an answer). We ended up going to more expensive restaurants, even though the other restaurants looked just as good. The only reason these restaurants were more expensive was because of the location - not because of the food. I didn't make a fuss about going to these restaurants, I just suggested that we look at the ones down the road that were cheaper, and they would say something like "money doesn't matter" (it does to me). Now I get back and am told how "selfish" and "petty" I was for wanting to go to the cheaper restaurants, and how I ruined the trip for everyone.

Also, on the last day there, we had to catch a bus to go to the airport. We all agreed we would walk to the bus station (about a 30 minute walk). But on the way there, one of my flatmates realised she had left something at the hotel and she went back to get it, while we all waited. Because of waiting for her, we didn't have enough time to walk to the bus station and had to get the bus there, which costs 6 euros. I only had about 1.50 left, which everyone knew. I asked if anyone had any money they could lend me, and one of them had a lot of money left, so he lent me the 6 euros (which I paid back as soon as we got to the airport in England). I spent my last 1.50 on an ice cream, because I knew I wouldn't get to eat again for several hours. They all had a go at me for getting an ice cream :frown:

My flatmates just got back to the flat today and yelled at me and called me selfish. I'm so upset. I admit I had a pretty **** time, what with being ignored and being excluded, but I was prepared to let that go and I wasn't going to say anything to them about it. What really gets me upset is how they've treated me since, like I'm a terrible, selfish person. :frown:

I did so much of the preparation for the trip, but I was never once thanked for that - I just get screamed at.

Am I unreasonable for being upset? :frown:

Reply 1

StrangerthanEleven

No your not being unreasonable at all.There the ones that are in the wrong, you should tell them how you feel and how much they have upset you and if they don't understand or they don't want to know then there not much friends! hope you get sorted and if u get reali down about it get another friend round for some ben and jerrys and a big cuddle :smile:

Reply 2

bunthulhu

No, those people are not your friends, they're horrible and you should stop spending time with them! They don't appreciate you even a smidge so they don't deserve your friendship. You sound lovely, you'll find some nicer people :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

thank you, that means a lot to me, when six people all think i'm in the wrong :frown:

Reply 4

bunthulhu

Anonymous

thank you, that means a lot to me, when six people all think i'm in the wrong :frown:

They don't really think that, because it's so obviously just not true. The reason they're being so mean is because they can, and like some nasty people, they find it fun. It's 1 v 6, you can't stick up for yourself, and they know that!

Reply 5

StrangerthanEleven

we could always just come round to your flat and kick there ass for you! 3,000 to 6 :biggrin:

haha

Reply 6

goodmen

if 6 people think your wrong maybe you are. Its unfair for people to really say no you are in the right when they have only heard your side of the story

Reply 7

Schroedinger's Pandora

^^ I'm all for some of that! Fistycuffs!! :smile:

Reply 8

ciara

They sound totally selfish and horrible, but all you can do is learn from this and not go on holiday with them again, especially not in those circumstances. To be honest, I would have it out with them, letting them call you selfish etc when it's clear that you were the total opposite will only make you bitter and frustrated. Tell them what you've told us, about all the work you put in and stuff. Don't go overboard, you do have to live with them still, but I really think you deserve your say. Say your piece and then wait for it to blow over. Good luck.

Reply 9

StrangerthanEleven

little_red_sox

^^ I'm all for some of that! Fistycuffs!! :smile:

you get the rolling pins and ill get the pitch forks :biggrin:

Reply 10

Butterfly

Of course there are 2 sides to every story, but this does sound like they were being really inconsiderate and didn't appreciate any of the prep you'd done for the trip. They sound like total bitches in fact...how the hell were you being selfish? Money is always a contentious issue; it's really unreasonable the way people with lots of it don't understand the predicament of those who don't.

Reply 11

evil groove

I wouldn't have a go at them; they aren't worth any kind of verbal assault (trop d'effort). Just don't speak to them again. They are bullying you. Don't you dare go back to them!

Revenge is a dish best served cold - you'll think of something eventually. :cool:

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

I have to speak with (two of) them! I live with them!

There are many ways I could get revenge if I wanted to, but I don't think I'll stoop that far :wink:

Reply 13

Llamaaa

maybe they wanted to plan it, but the OP took control. That's another way of seeing it.

To be fair, I don't think we can judge fairly without hearing the other side.

Reply 14

Bubblebee

Didn't you realise what situation you were getting yourself into? TBH If I were to go on holiday with two couples...I well, wouldn't!

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Originally it was just one couple - the day after we booked flights, the other girl decided to bring her boyfriend too.

Reply 16

evil groove

Anonymous

I have to speak with (two of) them! I live with them!

There are many ways I could get revenge if I wanted to, but I don't think I'll stoop that far :wink:

Who's stooping? I'm surprised; if someone wrecked my holiday and was so inconsiderate, rude and unreasonable then I would be :mad:

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Haha...

One of my flatmates comes from a strict Indian family and is not allowed to date. However, she's had a boyfriend for the past year... and she shared a double room with him on the trip (she told her parents that the girls and boys were sleeping in separate rooms). So if I was mean, I could just tell her parents what their little princess really gets up to in her spare time.

Luckily for her, I'm not mean :wink:

Reply 18

evil groove

^^ Lol you have serious dirt on her, then. I suppose it could be quite a nice smug feeling that you have from knowing the destruction you could potentially cause. :eek:

It's good not to be vengeful.

What are you going to do then, nowt? Did you only want to know if we think you have a right to be annoyed with your friends?