Possesive and jealous

What do you do when you arent together? Who would you hang around with if she was away for the night? x

^ So scared of driving her away because of that. how can i overcome this?

You know I do sort of understand how you feel and why you're like this. Let's see is this how it is for you?:

You do trust her, in fact you trust her alot. She is your closest friend and you confide in her alot, all the talking on the phone and hanging out lots etc. Except although you trust her to confide in her and be close friends, by trying to control her and keep checking up on her, you're not treating her as if you trust her, and that will be evident to her. You check up on her all the time and when she wants to go somewhwere else or talk to someone else or do something else without you, you panic and feel insecure and so question her about where she is going, why, when, do what and try to change her mind. Except this is going to seem really controlling and trapping to her and rather patronising too as you're her friend not her parent or guardian. It's obsessive. And as your close loyal friend she'll try not to do anything to make you feel uncomfortable because she knows that you don't like it. And even though this may make her miserable too, to you it doesn't matter that much because that way you still have each other. Except this whole situation probably doesn't go both ways, which is why you're worried about losing her, because she means such alot to you and you want to keep her close at all times so you're always close and it's always you and her.

Now I'm going to ask you something else: do you do all of this and feel insecure like this because of a self-esteem or confidence issue? Like maybe you were bullied or haven't always had someone really close to confide in and you really value this and want to hold onto it?

Because my former best friend acted like you are now because of all the extensive bullying that she went and is still going through to an extent. Except I went through extensive bullying too and didn't act like that. Anyway, this is about you here.

To overcome this, you have to give your friend some leeway. Let her be her own person and do her own thing. And let her talk to you about her stuff too. And if she brings up your obsessiveness/behaviour towards her, confide in her about your fears and why you're acting like this; don't get all evasive and shout her down and insult her and make her miserable, or make empty promises. She's your closest friend and if you let her in and confide in her, show her you trust her by telling her, you can try to overcome this together instead of running the risk of pushing her away and making her want to feel like she really has to escape. I can understand that you are potentially letting yourself become more vulnerable by putting your trust in someone else with your own personal feelings and fears, but if you are really close and you do really trust her and value her as a special friend, then it should be a risk worth taking and will hopefully be an investment into sustaining your future instead of you and her inside and physically breaking apart.

OK, so sorry for going on and on. That was kind of based on what I've experienced so if it's not all like that then do say and I'll try to maybe help you figure it out some other way etc.