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Are mental health nurses mostly right?

Basically im in a mess with my life at the moment with anxiety and my mum works near the college I go to so I usually get a lift home with her. My mum is sick of me though with all this panicking and not being able to get a job and I heard her telling my aunt today saying im bone idle. My aunt admitted to this and she has a son a year younger than me who does nothing, lazies around drinking with his mates (similar to what I appear like except im at college, don't drink or go out and have no mates lol) Im only in college twice a week and sometimes panic on the way there and go back home, its been happening for years though.

Anyway my aunty says that im attention seeking and that my mum should ignore me and not answer the phone when I call her. She also says that im trying to copy my cousin (her son) as we gre up together, she says I mirror what he does :confused:

With her being a mental health person though I always question if she is right but then again she is sick of her son and so sympathises with my mum and might have something against me right?
I don't copy what he does but tbh when I think that im useless I think of him and think to myself that at least im not the only one in a rut.

Just wanted to know people's opinions, im confused :confused:

Reply 1

Louise88

She is a mental health nurse, doesn't mean she knows everything and that is quite clear how she just assumes that you don't have a problem, that you are just attention seeking.

Sit down with your mum and talk to her about what happens and explain to her that you are actually worried about it. I suggest you speak to someone about how you are feeling and maybe then people wont be so quick to just judge you.

Reply 2

dave

I'm an RMN.
And we're NOT always right.
Regardless of how "professional" we think we are, how "detatched" we may think we can be - when it comes to dealing with family, it's not always easy looking at problems as you would with strangers.
How d'you know you suffer from anxiety? Has it been diagnosed?

For your aunt to say you're "attention-seeking" is not only unprofessional, but can be inherently dangerous. Sweeping generalisations in mental health are a big no-no.
For your mother to say you're "bone-idle" when you're attending college x days per week is illogical.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I rang up connexions yesterday and am being referred to a councellor as I tried about 2 years ago to see one through the gp who said I has panic disorder but months went by and Ive still not heard as of yet. I suppose they are really busy and I thought that I could handle it myself back then so wasn't too bothered but now I just can't see any decent future if I keep feeling like I do every morning.

Anyway, she didn't say it to my face I wasn't meant to hear but im nosy and listened at the top of the stairs when I heard my name whispered. The thing is she might be right in the way that if he did get a great job or something (I hope he will) then there would be loads of pressure on me as I am older and would be the only one in the family like this..if that makes sense, but im certainly not trying to copy him as im aware of!!

Reply 4

Comp_Genius

4

See your GP who may be in a better position to judge, he/she may refer you to a psychiatrist who is very experienced in these things.

Reply 5

No Future

17

One word, NO!

As dave said, she can't possibly have an objective view and in any case, the fact she's a mental health nurse does not mean she is necessarily highly knowledgeable and likely to be right about these things. For the most part I am skeptical about mental health nurses.

Reply 6

dave

No Future

One word, NO!

As dave said, she can't possibly have an objective view and in any case, the fact she's a mental health nurse does not mean she is necessarily highly knowledgeable and likely to be right about these things. For the most part I am skeptical about mental health nurses.

:getmecoat :p:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Ok well its obvious that they are not right 100% of the time no one is perfect but I just thought with her being one she probably knows more about me than I know although I think that she believes that im over reacting, I don't know how deep she has studied lol! She does spend quite a lot of time with my family and is going through hell with her son so it might be why she thinks like this. Its not going to make my mum like me very much though.

Reply 8

dave

Anonymous

Ok well its obvious that they are not right 100% of the time no one is perfect but I just thought with her being one she probably knows more about me than I know although I think that she believes that im over reacting, I don't know how deep she has studied lol! She does spend quite a lot of time with my family and is going through hell with her son so it might be why she thinks like this. Its not going to make my mum like me very much though.

Unless your aunt has sat down and had a long conversation with you about your situation, then right now she knows as much about your mental state as the guy serving in the local chippy.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

dave

Unless your aunt has sat down and had a long conversation with you about your situation, then right now she knows as much about your mental state as the guy serving in the local chippy.

We had a conversation a few months ago as my parents were complaining that I shut the windows and doors at night, my aunt askd if I would feel better if I had one of them cold stoppers at the bottom of the door and I said no, she said why and I said cause my room will eventually be cold. I don't know why but I just have to make sure all the windows are shut at night and the kitchen door so I can't hear the fridge im jus strange. She said I was like this because I want revenge on my parents. I know what I do is odd but I don't see how she came to that conclusion. She said that we need family therapy as my mum said at that time that she was sick of my dad snoring :confused:

Reply 10

dave

Anonymous

We had a conversation a few months ago as my parents were complaining that I shut the windows and doors at night, my aunt askd if I would feel better if I had one of them cold stoppers at the bottom of the door and I said no, she said why and I said cause my room will eventually be cold. I don't know why but I just have to make sure all the windows are shut at night and the kitchen door so I can't hear the fridge im jus strange. She said I was like this because I want revenge on my parents. I know what I do is odd but I don't see how she came to that conclusion. She said that we need family therapy as my mum said at that time that she was sick of my dad snoring :confused:

Well your aunt must be a hell of a whatever-she-is.............I cannot, for the life of me, equate the reasoning behind that which I underlined. Imho - her reasoning is absolute b/s.
I'd suggest seeking totally independent help for your anxiety - do you get panic attacks?
I'd also suggest that your aunt is kept as far away as possible from any treatment regimes that you might undertake.

Reply 11

Marianne

Oh my gosh actually please beat her up. She can't say you're idle then :mad:

What a bitch, I really feel for you. I used to suffer from anxiety and depression, as well as OCD and had low self esteem. I'm over it now (ish) but some days are still a struggle. I do sometimes have panic attacks, particularly when I'm stressed and there is no way that a panic attack is a trivial thing, and neither is it attention seeking. Afterall, when I am panicking I don't want anyone there!

It is akin to a disability, and I would say that your aunt is trying to justify her own situation by making it "real" whilst your mothers is less significant and a personal failing. Kick her in the girl nuts, concentrate on cognitive behaviour therapy and get you self some respect- a job or something? You can do it I promise!

Good luck in getting better, and try not to obsess ok? PM me if you want to chat.

Reply 12

Sarky

18

No health professional is ever 100% right no matter how much experience they have. And if its family? Probably even less right as Dave said!

You're always going to come off worse compared to your cousin in your aunt's eyes. Well done for phoning connexxions. Panic attacks and anxiety are horrible things to deal with and your aunt's attitude won't help how you're feeling. There are some fabulous MH nurses out there, there are also some awful ones. She should know better than to say silly things to you. I hope she doesn't say them at work! I've been told some very silly things by some nurses...and doctors to be fair...

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Mental health nurses are a bunch of total ******s. A few of them bullied me when I was in hospital.

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

****ing hell. This is an example of nurses do not know what they do not know. It is dangerous. They should stick with arse-wiping.

Reply 15

tehjonny

8

It's the 50's all over again!

As a Mental Health Nurse she should know better than to have those views, and certainly shouldn't express them to the affect of a situation.

Reply 16

dave

Anonymous #2

Mental health nurses are a bunch of total ******s. A few of them bullied me when I was in hospital.

Don't judge all by the actions of a few.
I'm sorry to hear you were bullied, but we're not all like that.

Anonymous #3

****ing hell. This is an example of nurses do not know what they do not know. It is dangerous. They should stick with arse-wiping.

In the case of some mental health workers - I'd agree with you. But please don't generalise.

Reply 17

*knowitall*

Is this you too?

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=312230

If so it sounds as though this is a long term issue with you & your aunt. She appears to think you are suffering from some anxiety disorder and should be able to access help to improve your situation - and she's cross that you do not.

The comment about family therapy suggests that from her point of view she does not think it is all your fault.

Her comments may be unwelcome but perhaps she has a point? Maybe from the outside your family set-up seems unusual and your possible mental health issues denied.

Perhaps your mum rings her up constantly about family problems and she wishes it'd get sorted!

Are mental health nurses mostly right?

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