Don't really know what to say to my friend tomorrow

Reply 1

Is your friend aware of his mental state? Has he ever broached the subject before after a bad episode?
Do you feel that his present state may degenerate to that of one where he would attempt suicide?
If you do, then - as you seem to care - and there's no communication with him - there's really only one course of action open to you.

In the short term, when you meet him tomorrow, simply ask him how he's feeling, and if he wants to talk, and that you're more than willing to listen. You could also offer to go to counselling with him, if he felt it would help, and if you were willing. That will let him know that you care - and others too. It may possibly open up his "floodgates" - which as a first step, would do him a lot of good.

Reply 2

sparkler

Vampyrcorn

We've done research and my flatmates and I are hopefully going to get him to go to councelling tomorrow in the city center. I think it's a start to helping him. (Not that we've figured out how to pay for it yet...)

doesn't your university have a counselling service?

Reply 3

Spent

Just ask the guy how he's doing, casually. Don't make a big fuss over it, just enough for him to know you care. Some unis have guidance counsellors on campus - for free. You should try and do some research on student support at yours. I'd also try keeping in contact with home over the easter period.

When you feel there's a positive improvement in his behaviour try including him in activities - anything really, but not something that's gonna get him polatic. The gym's always a good motivator, but it takes time to notice any differences in fitness or build.

Reply 4

sidi

Definitely keep in touch over Easter holidays. If he wants to offload privately at any time of day or night he can always ring the samaritans or email them. You're obviously a fantastic friend.Give him a big hug and just judge his mood. He may want to talk things over or may be feeling embarrassed and just want to be treated as if nothing had happened.
Have just looked up York Uni counselling service, they will give appts asap, can email them outside office hours and they will get back to you.

Reply 5

Rozaroo

tell him that you care, that you're worried about him, that you want to help if you can, etc, give him a hug if you/he are the hugging type. Try to make it clear, if you haven't already, that although you don't like what he is doing, its cos you care about him, not because you hate him/its getting on your nerves or whatever.

it sucks to be in that kind of situation, and you and he have my sympathy.

Reply 6

Leigh

The Welfare Officers (at Derwent at least) advertise the fact that you can tip them off anonymously if you are worried about someone.
I can't tell you what they do with the information, but I'm sure they are more equipped to deal with it than you might be. Maybe speak to them, see what they suggest?

The Uni has its own councilling service, over near Costcutter. He (or you) shouldn't need to pay anything to get him the help he needs.