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Why is my friend such a manipulative coward ?
I have this friend in halls who I am the closest to, however she has manipulated me to many times and I am sick of it.
I am in 1st year, and my mates are sorting out where they are going to live for next year. I recently decided to stay home for the 2nd year because I live relatively close to the uni. I may have mentioned this in passing but I never had a full discussion.
About a few weeks ago I found out she had put her name down with some other girls/guys for a house somewhere in east london. It hurt because she never told me she was going to do this and I thought we would at least discuss the possibility of housing after our end of term exams. Then I found out she did this way back in NOVEMBER when she didn't even know these people well. During that time we had a little argument.
I thought this was very disrespectful and hurtful, she kept saying how cool a house was gonna be and how she was glad she wasn't staying at home anymore "like a child would do". She kept emphasising to her future roomate, "how they would be great friends", while I was in the room.
Last week she went to go check it out and it was a "dump", now she has pulled out of the house thing and is weighing up her options, saying how "it would be great if we could all live together" and how she had her doubts about the people because they gave her "evil looks" . She came running to me with her problems and not once did she acknowledge how rude she had been. Our other friend has no one to live with and not once did I hear my friend offer to stay with her, but as long as she is happy then she doesn't care about anyone else.
Now her former plans have fallen through she wants to move in with my other friend and I feel she is just using her.
I am in 1st year, and my mates are sorting out where they are going to live for next year. I recently decided to stay home for the 2nd year because I live relatively close to the uni. I may have mentioned this in passing but I never had a full discussion.
About a few weeks ago I found out she had put her name down with some other girls/guys for a house somewhere in east london. It hurt because she never told me she was going to do this and I thought we would at least discuss the possibility of housing after our end of term exams. Then I found out she did this way back in NOVEMBER when she didn't even know these people well. During that time we had a little argument.
I thought this was very disrespectful and hurtful, she kept saying how cool a house was gonna be and how she was glad she wasn't staying at home anymore "like a child would do". She kept emphasising to her future roomate, "how they would be great friends", while I was in the room.
Last week she went to go check it out and it was a "dump", now she has pulled out of the house thing and is weighing up her options, saying how "it would be great if we could all live together" and how she had her doubts about the people because they gave her "evil looks" . She came running to me with her problems and not once did she acknowledge how rude she had been. Our other friend has no one to live with and not once did I hear my friend offer to stay with her, but as long as she is happy then she doesn't care about anyone else.
Now her former plans have fallen through she wants to move in with my other friend and I feel she is just using her.
Reply 2
Bismarck
If you're planning on staying at home, how did she backstab you by signing up live in a house with some other people? I don't get it.
I feel she backstabbed me because she wasn't aware of my plans to stay home. Nor did she care to ask about what I was going to do , she just went and made sure she and she only had a place to stay, where as I would have asked everyone what they were doing and if they had a place to stay.
Reply 3
If you had fallen out at the time then it is understandable, but this is really a no-brainer.
Reply 4
I do understand where the op is coming from. Even if you had an argument she should've at least talked to you about it because you stated you were quite close. Friends get into arguments all the time but if she didn't know what you were going to do then it really is nasty
Reply 5
If you had an arguement thats probably why she did it. When people have arguements they sometimes make rash decisions.
Reply 6
The thing is it wasn't even a big argument at all, it was just a tiff that lasted a day or two. I don't think housing is something that you make a rash decision about, she would constantly moan about how we should live together and kinda gave me a false idea that this is what was going to happen. This was after she had signed up for housing. Now she is getting cold feet she assumes my friend will drop all her plans just to mve in with her.
It may sound petty on its own but she has done lots of things like this and I feel its the last straw. She criticized my intelligence, my family, and how I should feel guilty that I was brought up in a middle class home and she had to struggle with a only a single mother. She makes jokes about people she considers to be overweight (size 12), calling them lazy fat and I happen to be size 12. She nags alot telling me I shouldn't eat too much that one meal a day is enough for someone my size. Then she calls me her best friend her, telling me how comfortable she feels with me and how she hasn't really bonded with anyone else. So you can understand why I feel this way like I have been backstabbed.
I feel she doesn't respect me. She thinks I will always be there when she needs help or advice. When she wants something it doesn't matter how badly she wants something she will step on anybody to get it.
It may sound petty on its own but she has done lots of things like this and I feel its the last straw. She criticized my intelligence, my family, and how I should feel guilty that I was brought up in a middle class home and she had to struggle with a only a single mother. She makes jokes about people she considers to be overweight (size 12), calling them lazy fat and I happen to be size 12. She nags alot telling me I shouldn't eat too much that one meal a day is enough for someone my size. Then she calls me her best friend her, telling me how comfortable she feels with me and how she hasn't really bonded with anyone else. So you can understand why I feel this way like I have been backstabbed.
I feel she doesn't respect me. She thinks I will always be there when she needs help or advice. When she wants something it doesn't matter how badly she wants something she will step on anybody to get it.
Reply 8
Anonymous
I do understand where the op is coming from. Even if you had an argument she should've at least talked to you about it because you stated you were quite close. Friends get into arguments all the time but if she didn't know what you were going to do then it really is nasty
That is my point exactly, this was a small argument over nothing. She put her name down for accomodation before this had occured suggesting to me she never considered me a true friend.
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- What do I do
- Is this harrassment?
- Am I being manipulative?
- Lady Macbeth Essay: Powerful Woman
- why do ppl call me a snitch?
- Should they be together?
- Is this abusive? (parents)
- Gcse english language paper 2
- Am I the bad friend or are they toxic?
- Insanities and shenanigans of a psychology student
- Is this bad to be like this to my girlfriend.
- Racist and disrespectful guy?
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