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guilty feelings
I like by boyfriend very much but I’m feeling guilty because lately I’ve been sharing private information (not secrets, but also not something others are privy to know about). This isn’t something I would do to someone I respected but he had upset me in a major way and I stopped caring for a few days. Anyway, in my mind I feel like I ruined something “sacred” and I feel tremendously guilty, almost as if I’ve cheated.
Just wanted to get that off my chest.
Just wanted to get that off my chest.
The guilt is well placed. If someone trusts you with information, you have no obligation (even if you were 'angry') to play that information onto other people whom are not 'privy' to it.
I would suggest perhaps informing your bf of the situation, but that would just make matters worse - I personally would be very annoyed with you, unless it was trivial information. I recommend that you put this down to experience and don't do it again.
I would suggest perhaps informing your bf of the situation, but that would just make matters worse - I personally would be very annoyed with you, unless it was trivial information. I recommend that you put this down to experience and don't do it again.
I'm sorry but I have to agree with Nix that doing that kind of thing is just unacceptable. When someone makes that conscious decision to let you know something instead of anyone else then that is one of the worst kinds of betrayal.
Perhaps the only thing you can do to move forward is make damn sure it doesn't happen again, since there really isn't much that can be done now to rectify this sort of behaviour.
Perhaps the only thing you can do to move forward is make damn sure it doesn't happen again, since there really isn't much that can be done now to rectify this sort of behaviour.
If you don't mind me asking, what was it he'd done to upset you? If it was bad enough then your annoyance may have been justified.
98cesc
Nope, never justified.
Well, you never know, he might have cheated on her or something. I'm just making sure that's not the case.
98cesc
Oh right, so when someone's bin cheated on we should all just run around trying to do our best get one over on who did it!
Look, I'm not willing to start an argument here, but none of us can come to a snap judgment based on such minimal facts.
You can't possibly say this sort of thing:
98cesc
When someone makes that conscious decision to let you know something instead of anyone else then that is one of the worst kinds of betrayal.
Perhaps the only thing you can do to move forward is make damn sure it doesn't happen again, since there really isn't much that can be done now to rectify this sort of behaviour.
Perhaps the only thing you can do to move forward is make damn sure it doesn't happen again, since there really isn't much that can be done now to rectify this sort of behaviour.
...when you don't even know what "this sort of behaviour" is. Basically, none of us know:
- What he did to her to make her lose respect for him
- What she told other people.
All we know is that whatever it was, it wasn't a secret as such, just something that some people didn't need to know.
None of us know the situation. For all we know, he could have hit her, and she could have confided in someone, and told them it was because he was an alcoholic. That would fit into the original post, and she would have been justified because she wasn't exactly giving away secrets, but she was confiding in someone else and in doing so mentioned personal details (such as him being an alcoholic).
All I'm saying is, with such little information available, you can't accuse her of "betrayal" and tell her to "make damn sure it doesn't happen again". Don't jump to conclusions so quickly, is all I'm suggesting, with all due respect.
98cesc
Well with all due respect, the probability of you having just chanced upon the correct scenario is seriously low.
So you can't just use one thought up case as a an argument for going against the generally accepted moral obligation not to deliberately strive to hurt people.
So you can't just use one thought up case as a an argument for going against the generally accepted moral obligation not to deliberately strive to hurt people.
I never said I was giving the correct scenario, that's just one of a multitude of possible scenarios.
It also wasn't exactly clear that the OP "deliberatey strove to hurt" her boyfriend. She revelaed details she maybe shouldn't have to someone, but it doesn't appear from the way she's talking like it was a calculated attack.
98cesc
Well actually she did say infer that she did it because he had upset her, thus proving my point.
*sigh* I can't be bothered. This isn't helping the lass, and you're clearly not listening to me.
Everyone does stuff they aren't proud of at times. There's no point beating yourself up about it if you can just learn from it and not do it again.
Seriously, just try to put it behind you and make sure you don't do it again. There are worse things you could have done, and you're feeling guilty so it's not like you're a bad person, you just messed up.
Cheer up.
Seriously, just try to put it behind you and make sure you don't do it again. There are worse things you could have done, and you're feeling guilty so it's not like you're a bad person, you just messed up.
Cheer up.
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