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Hiding depression now causing a problem..
Really long post I'm sorry, well done to anyone who manages to get through it!
Ok for just over a year I've been battling feelings of depression. It started around the stressful exam time and I found that I was crying myself to sleep and self harming. Once when my family went out to a Christmas party I stayed home saying that I felt ill and I ended up throwing a glass at the wall and using the broken glass to cut myself realy deeply and I think at that point I realised I was suffering more than just a bit of pre exam stress. And sometimes during school I'd feel so like I was dying sitting there pretending that everything was normal I'd just get up and leave and go home and drink to take the edge off and fall asleep. But then it all seemed to go away and I've been really happy except for a few times where the old feelings would come back and I'd occasionally self harm again, but these last few times it only lasted a few days max in comparrision to the few months it lasted when I was at school.
Anyway, now I'm going abroad for a few months and need to take malaria tablets and I have two choices. One set are antibiotic based ones but due to my history of allergies to antibiotics the nurse thinks I should go for the other set, the problem is they can cause hallucinations etc and are not recomended if you suffer from depression. No one in the world knows about these low points I have. There's a third choice of malaria tablets but I'd have to tell all because 1) they have to be aproved by the doctor and you have to have a pretty good reason for not being able to take the othere two types. and 2) my father is paying for all my vaccines etc and these tablets are about three times as expensive.
I guess I just want to know what other people would do. Right now I'm leaning towards taking the hallucination ones and hope that because I've not been feeling as depressed as before they won't affect me. Any thoughts??
Ok for just over a year I've been battling feelings of depression. It started around the stressful exam time and I found that I was crying myself to sleep and self harming. Once when my family went out to a Christmas party I stayed home saying that I felt ill and I ended up throwing a glass at the wall and using the broken glass to cut myself realy deeply and I think at that point I realised I was suffering more than just a bit of pre exam stress. And sometimes during school I'd feel so like I was dying sitting there pretending that everything was normal I'd just get up and leave and go home and drink to take the edge off and fall asleep. But then it all seemed to go away and I've been really happy except for a few times where the old feelings would come back and I'd occasionally self harm again, but these last few times it only lasted a few days max in comparrision to the few months it lasted when I was at school.
Anyway, now I'm going abroad for a few months and need to take malaria tablets and I have two choices. One set are antibiotic based ones but due to my history of allergies to antibiotics the nurse thinks I should go for the other set, the problem is they can cause hallucinations etc and are not recomended if you suffer from depression. No one in the world knows about these low points I have. There's a third choice of malaria tablets but I'd have to tell all because 1) they have to be aproved by the doctor and you have to have a pretty good reason for not being able to take the othere two types. and 2) my father is paying for all my vaccines etc and these tablets are about three times as expensive.
I guess I just want to know what other people would do. Right now I'm leaning towards taking the hallucination ones and hope that because I've not been feeling as depressed as before they won't affect me. Any thoughts??
Hmmmm...
hotfuzz
Helpful.
I know... laaaaaame.
I wrote something, then was unsure of it, so I edited it out quickly.
OP: I agree with hotfuzz. Explain to the doctor if you can. If not then try talking to someone you are really close to and trust, once you've got that out the way it may become easier to talk to other people. I believe that a lot of things can be eased by talking about them.
Anonymous
Really long post I'm sorry, well done to anyone who manages to get through it!
Ok for just over a year I've been battling feelings of depression. It started around the stressful exam time and I found that I was crying myself to sleep and self harming. Once when my family went out to a Christmas party I stayed home saying that I felt ill and I ended up throwing a glass at the wall and using the broken glass to cut myself realy deeply and I think at that point I realised I was suffering more than just a bit of pre exam stress. And sometimes during school I'd feel so like I was dying sitting there pretending that everything was normal I'd just get up and leave and go home and drink to take the edge off and fall asleep. But then it all seemed to go away and I've been really happy except for a few times where the old feelings would come back and I'd occasionally self harm again, but these last few times it only lasted a few days max in comparrision to the few months it lasted when I was at school.
Anyway, now I'm going abroad for a few months and need to take malaria tablets and I have two choices. One set are antibiotic based ones but due to my history of allergies to antibiotics the nurse thinks I should go for the other set, the problem is they can cause hallucinations etc and are not recomended if you suffer from depression. No one in the world knows about these low points I have. There's a third choice of malaria tablets but I'd have to tell all because 1) they have to be aproved by the doctor and you have to have a pretty good reason for not being able to take the othere two types. and 2) my father is paying for all my vaccines etc and these tablets are about three times as expensive.
I guess I just want to know what other people would do. Right now I'm leaning towards taking the hallucination ones and hope that because I've not been feeling as depressed as before they won't affect me. Any thoughts??
Ok for just over a year I've been battling feelings of depression. It started around the stressful exam time and I found that I was crying myself to sleep and self harming. Once when my family went out to a Christmas party I stayed home saying that I felt ill and I ended up throwing a glass at the wall and using the broken glass to cut myself realy deeply and I think at that point I realised I was suffering more than just a bit of pre exam stress. And sometimes during school I'd feel so like I was dying sitting there pretending that everything was normal I'd just get up and leave and go home and drink to take the edge off and fall asleep. But then it all seemed to go away and I've been really happy except for a few times where the old feelings would come back and I'd occasionally self harm again, but these last few times it only lasted a few days max in comparrision to the few months it lasted when I was at school.
Anyway, now I'm going abroad for a few months and need to take malaria tablets and I have two choices. One set are antibiotic based ones but due to my history of allergies to antibiotics the nurse thinks I should go for the other set, the problem is they can cause hallucinations etc and are not recomended if you suffer from depression. No one in the world knows about these low points I have. There's a third choice of malaria tablets but I'd have to tell all because 1) they have to be aproved by the doctor and you have to have a pretty good reason for not being able to take the othere two types. and 2) my father is paying for all my vaccines etc and these tablets are about three times as expensive.
I guess I just want to know what other people would do. Right now I'm leaning towards taking the hallucination ones and hope that because I've not been feeling as depressed as before they won't affect me. Any thoughts??
Ok firstly you really do need to get help because of your self harming and just because you haven't told anyone about your depression before doesn't mean you should continue to keep it inside because you will make it even worse for yourself, talking to someone about how you feel really helps. See a GP or talk to a close friend/family member and maybe they can try and work through the issues with you because there seems to be alot going on that's making you so confused and i think you need to take it a step at a time.
Secondly, don't risk taking the tablets which aren't recommended for depressed people because if there are any side affects you'll suffer even more, regret taking them and you're friends/family/doctor will ask why you didn't tell them about your depression before... ie causing alot more problems which, by the sounds of it, you could really do without.
I hope this helps... but i can relate to you with the depressed feelings because i feel like that most of the time and talking to someone really does make it feel alot better.
Good luck
Yellowmarshmellow
Ok firstly you really do need to get help because of your self harming and just because you haven't told anyone about your depression before doesn't mean you should continue to keep it inside because you will make it even worse for yourself, talking to someone about how you feel really helps. See a GP or talk to a close friend/family member and maybe they can try and work through the issues with you because there seems to be alot going on that's making you so confused and i think you need to take it a step at a time.
Secondly, don't risk taking the tablets which aren't recommended for depressed people because if there are any side affects you'll suffer even more, regret taking them and you're friends/family/doctor will ask why you didn't tell them about your depression before... ie causing alot more problems which, by the sounds of it, you could really do without.
I hope this helps... but i can relate to you with the depressed feelings because i feel like that most of the time and talking to someone really does make it feel alot better.
Good luck
Secondly, don't risk taking the tablets which aren't recommended for depressed people because if there are any side affects you'll suffer even more, regret taking them and you're friends/family/doctor will ask why you didn't tell them about your depression before... ie causing alot more problems which, by the sounds of it, you could really do without.
I hope this helps... but i can relate to you with the depressed feelings because i feel like that most of the time and talking to someone really does make it feel alot better.
Good luck
completely agree with this advice.
Well I've had depression alongside other mental health problems and taken malaria tablets. I didn't notice anything or even know about it. I would say speak to the doctor. It will all be confidential anyway and they will be able to give you an informed opinion. They may also be able to put you in touch with professionals who can help you should you feel like you need it. If you really feel you can't go to the doctor the NHS helpline could be a useful source.
Well done by the way. It sounds like you've come a long way. I hope you continue to feel better. Remember depression affects a surprising number of people and you are not alone in this. It can happen for a variety of reasons or for none at all. There is NOTHING to be ashamed about (I know this is easier said than done).
The fact that you are worried may be, in itself, a cause for concern because, even if the tablets weren't to affect you, you may perceive them to have an effect (the placebo effect) so some reassurance is probably needed.
If you do need the more expensive tablets and don't want to tell your dad you could go and get them yourself if he gave you the money. You'd have to pay the difference but there is a way out.
Good luck and take care xxx
Well done by the way. It sounds like you've come a long way. I hope you continue to feel better. Remember depression affects a surprising number of people and you are not alone in this. It can happen for a variety of reasons or for none at all. There is NOTHING to be ashamed about (I know this is easier said than done).
The fact that you are worried may be, in itself, a cause for concern because, even if the tablets weren't to affect you, you may perceive them to have an effect (the placebo effect) so some reassurance is probably needed.
If you do need the more expensive tablets and don't want to tell your dad you could go and get them yourself if he gave you the money. You'd have to pay the difference but there is a way out.
Good luck and take care xxx
Thanks everyone for the advice it sort of helps to know that people understand cus I've never discussed this with anyone.
I don't think I can stomach talking to anyone close to me because I am perceived to be the most happy go lucky person ever and the perfect example of good mental health. It’s like when I’m happy I’m so happy I don’t think anyone could imagine me doing anything to hurt myself when I’m alone. When I go through down phases I’ve always said I was tired and as I’m anemic and on iron tablets people have always just accepted the sleeping and quiet mood as general sleepiness. So I’m the happy sleepy one. But I don’t think I can talk to my doctor either because he’s known me since I was an embryo and treated all my childhood ailments it would feel like talking to say a friend of my Father’s about the most intimate thoughts in my head! I might wait until I go to uni and speak to a doctor there who feels less close to the whole situation.
Phoning the NHS line actually seems like a really good idea and hopefully they’ll be able to advise me if taking this particular course of tablets would be alright and exactly which side effects I could expect. It seems weird to me that any drug could be like ok you’re depressed therefore you will hallucinate because I guess I still see depression as purely a mind thing and not a chemical thing. It’s a bit hard to believe I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and not just a general bad mood
I don't think I can stomach talking to anyone close to me because I am perceived to be the most happy go lucky person ever and the perfect example of good mental health. It’s like when I’m happy I’m so happy I don’t think anyone could imagine me doing anything to hurt myself when I’m alone. When I go through down phases I’ve always said I was tired and as I’m anemic and on iron tablets people have always just accepted the sleeping and quiet mood as general sleepiness. So I’m the happy sleepy one. But I don’t think I can talk to my doctor either because he’s known me since I was an embryo and treated all my childhood ailments it would feel like talking to say a friend of my Father’s about the most intimate thoughts in my head! I might wait until I go to uni and speak to a doctor there who feels less close to the whole situation.
Phoning the NHS line actually seems like a really good idea and hopefully they’ll be able to advise me if taking this particular course of tablets would be alright and exactly which side effects I could expect. It seems weird to me that any drug could be like ok you’re depressed therefore you will hallucinate because I guess I still see depression as purely a mind thing and not a chemical thing. It’s a bit hard to believe I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and not just a general bad mood
Please don't take the hallucinogenic ones. I was depressed and took anti depressants that caused hallucinations and it was the scariest time of my life.
You shouldn't be asking this here, this is something you need to be talking about with a healthcare professional. I was in the same position as you with regards to doctors and just had to bite the bullet and open up. It's not as if they wont have heard it 300000000 times before. Promise!
Good luck, and do whats best for your health not for other people.
xx
You shouldn't be asking this here, this is something you need to be talking about with a healthcare professional. I was in the same position as you with regards to doctors and just had to bite the bullet and open up. It's not as if they wont have heard it 300000000 times before. Promise!
Good luck, and do whats best for your health not for other people.
xx
hotfuzz
Speak to your GP about it. He is not allowed to tell anyone about it so he will be the only person who knows about it.
I don't know, he might be allowed to tell people if he thinks you're a suicide risk, or if you're self-harming. I'd recommend trying one of those NHS helplines, as a poster has already said.
They can't tell anyone if you're a suicide risk or self-harming unless you are under 16. At 16 it becomes your complete prerogative to choose who you tell. The only thing they can do towards mental health is section you and they have to have a bloody extreme case to do this. Not a self harming depressed person who has shown few signs of suicide.
So tell your GP, I gurantee it's completely confidential if you are 16+. If you're under I'm not sure what you should do!
So tell your GP, I gurantee it's completely confidential if you are 16+. If you're under I'm not sure what you should do!
My doctor, who periodically works for the flying doctor service in Africa, gives me, and himself takes antibiotics in malarial areas. Maybe you could try some out before you go to test for allergic reactions? If you mean larium as the hallucinogenic ones, he suggests the best use for these is only as a treatment if you actually get malaria. Anyhow it's best to reveal all. Your father probably doesn't know the cost bof malaria tablets so will be none the wiser if you need the most expensive option.
It would also seem to be a good time to seek help for your problems while you are in the UK. Doctors confidentiality is sacrosanct. If you can't face your usual doctor can't you make an appt with another at the same practice?
It would also seem to be a good time to seek help for your problems while you are in the UK. Doctors confidentiality is sacrosanct. If you can't face your usual doctor can't you make an appt with another at the same practice?
ro-ro
They can't tell anyone if you're a suicide risk or self-harming unless you are under 16. At 16 it becomes your complete prerogative to choose who you tell. The only thing they can do towards mental health is section you and they have to have a bloody extreme case to do this. Not a self harming depressed person who has shown few signs of suicide.
So tell your GP, I gurantee it's completely confidential if you are 16+. If you're under I'm not sure what you should do!
So tell your GP, I gurantee it's completely confidential if you are 16+. If you're under I'm not sure what you should do!
Ah, ok. I wasn't sure, but I thought I'd mention it. Well done for clearing it up!
ro-ro
They can't tell anyone if you're a suicide risk or self-harming unless you are under 16. At 16 it becomes your complete prerogative to choose who you tell. The only thing they can do towards mental health is section you and they have to have a bloody extreme case to do this. Not a self harming depressed person who has shown few signs of suicide.
So tell your GP, I gurantee it's completely confidential if you are 16+. If you're under I'm not sure what you should do!
So tell your GP, I gurantee it's completely confidential if you are 16+. If you're under I'm not sure what you should do!
That is true. My GP had to ask my permission to contact counsellors when I was at risk of committing suicide.
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