Help needed

Hi

I'm 17 and I've never had a girlfriend. I've never even had a kiss! But basically there is this one girl I like and I have kinda sorta started to know her but I just don't know what to do. I have quite a poor opinion of myself (ugly, big nose), and wish I had some help! Im just so nervous when Im around here and I hardly get the chance to be alone with her

help

Reply 1

Vampyrcorn

Just talk to her and gradually build up some sort of friendship. Good luck. :smile:

And no matter how you perceive yourself, she may see you differently. She may not think you're very ugly, or she might not care. So try not to let that part bother you too much.

Reply 2

Nix!

Right being 17, I know it isn't much fun, but please realise this: you are far from the only one in such a position so don't make such a big deal out of it.

As for the insecurities, well - I think it was the worse I've ever been when I was that age. The advice I will offer is simple but hard to implement; change your frame of mind. Become confident, love yourself for who you are and seriously - be proud, especially of the good qualities.

The whole 'asking girls out' thing, well I was too shy to do it until very recently, and the best advice I can offer is this: Do not make such a big deal out it. If you think about it too much or worry that they'll say "No", you'll border on a panic attack. The best way is (if you're confident enough already) to just casually ask, it's actually much easier than you realise :smile:

Seriously though - confidence first because if you are unfortunately knocked back it wont bother you as much as if say you're insecure and need to be accepted.

One last point: Everyone views themselves in harsher light then other people. Even the prettiest, most happy girl you know will probably think she's ugly and hates herself.

Reply 3

A.Jitto

I second Nix's comment...

Reply 4

Llamaaa

I'd say the first thing you need to do is work on your self esteem. If you think you are great then other people will too. Girls like guys with confidence too. I know it's difficult to just improve self esteem, but I do think you should try. Once you have got your confidence up and you are sure of yourself then try to start conversations, invite her out sometime. If you are nervous then invite some other friends as well, so it isn't a date, it's a getting to know you session away from the usual environment. Good luck to you. By the way, big noses aren't a bad thing - I think they are cute :biggrin:

Reply 5

D-503

In terms of practical ways of getting some time with her on your own, fabricate some reason for having to walk the same direction with her home, or ask her for help with clothes/shoe shopping, or something along those lines. Not a date, but from this you will be able to get a sense of your chances. I wouldn't worry too much though, because like the others have said, once you have a girlfriend for the first time you wonder why you were ever so worked up about not having one, and the concept in itself becomes less important. And girls are very much like buses, to borrow an analogy from a previous poster, so don't sweat it. This is going to sound a bit chauvanistic and misogynistic, but good advice, if this girl isn't interested then just shoot way below your league and go out with someone less popular/goodlooking/experienced to get in the game. Good luck anyways.