the 'inferior' look

Sometimes I get the impression that certain people are looking down at me, thinking that i'm much inferior to them. How do you guys cope with this/or handle this?

The reason I am asking is because now sometimes when I go near them- I just don't speak. At times I wouldn't care when/if people are there. But other times I can loose alot of self esteem.

Reply 1

Tyrannosaurus Cal

15

Just remember that chances are they really don't look down on you, and would probably value anything you have to offer the conversation!

I'm pretty quiet around some people, especially if I don't know them, but if you just appear friendly and approachable, people are easier to have a chat with!

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Yeah I know what you mean i does damage your self-esteem but remember its not you I find its ususually people with massive egos for no apparent reason

Reply 3

hippieglitter

19

Try not to let it get to you, you could end up like me, with an inferiority complex big enough to rival the statue of liberty.

Reply 4

Shake 'n Bake

14

I sometimes feel the same way. Try and make small talk and build up from there.

Reply 5

Vampyrcorn

14

I just don't bother talking to people who think they're better than me. I tend to have little respect for them and find they generally come accross like arrogant ***** with badly perceived ideas about life in general.

If you only talk to nice people who respect you then it will build up your confidence better. It might seem a bit silly, perhaps even cowardly, to do it this way - protecting yourself from any aspect of society that you don't like - but it works well for me. :p:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

When I feel this way I just keep to myself. Because it makes me feel as though everything i say is dumb or not of any value. I know I am just assuming by what I see but I want to know how I can overcome that issue and be able to do what I need to without that disturbing me.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

I do talk to other people too. Its just if I go out with them, I don't feel comfortable.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

They are nice people, but its just that feeling that you have when your not worth anything.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Actually i'm not sure about 'the nice people'

Reply 10

Shake 'n Bake

14

Vampyrcorn

I just don't bother talking to people who think they're better than me. I tend to have little respect for them and find they generally come accross like arrogant ***** with badly perceived ideas about life in general.

If you only talk to nice people who respect you then it will build up your confidence better. It might seem a bit silly, perhaps even cowardly, to do it this way - protecting yourself from any aspect of society that you don't like - but it works well for me. :p:

It may work now but it could be of hinderance to you later on in life. This is especially true when you start uni. You may feel they are judging you, but you are doing the same and they may feel you look down on them.

I'm sure if you start talking to people who you feel are "superior" to you then it would benefit your self esteem more.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Maybe it's just because of some friction at the moment with me and person A from the group. However, I would like to know your opinions about things that do happen like that and how you handle it.

Reply 12

Vampyrcorn

14

beatnik~87

It may work now but it could be of hinderance to you later on in life. This is especially true when you start uni. You may feel they are judging you, but you are doing the same and they may feel you look down on them.

I'm sure if you start talking to people who you feel are "superior" to you then it would benefit your self esteem more.

Nah it's ok, I don't find most people to be like that. Not at uni anyway, but they were at school. It wasn't a case of them just coming accross as superior, they really did think they were better than me. I couldn't really be bothered by those type of people, so I just stuck with people who actually liked me and I do think it made me a lot more confident because then it didn't matter so much if there were some people who were rude or whatever because I had a secure safety net to look out for me. Those who were superior played such a tiny role in my life it didn't matter. Like I said, at university I haven't noticed it so much, most people are pretty nice. :smile:

However, there will always be people who try to make you feel bad about yourself and make life harder. You can't avoid them completely I suppose, but you can a bit and I find that it works fine for me. :p:

You're probably right though,to an extent. I think it kinda depends on the situation. If, in the OP's case, the problem is that he just thinks they look down on him then you're probably correct and he should talk to them more. But if they really do look down on him, then I think it's absolutely fine for him to be more selective with who he talks to i.e. not them. :p:

Unless he feels the need to prove to them that he's better than they think he is.

28 Minutes Ago 18:28
Anonymous
They are nice people, but its just that feeling that you have when your not worth anything

Everyone's worth something.

How much of this do you think is in your head? I mean, do you actually think they look down on you? Or is it more to do with how you perceive yourself?

Reply 13

goodmen

13

i dont have to cope with it because no one would ever look at me like that

Reply 14

Yellowmarshmellow

I feel like this alot with people in my 6th form, like they're judging me therefore i am quiet around them and hold back when wanting to talk... just think to yourself who cares what they think because it's obviously them with the problem, they are a waste of space if they're going to see themselves as superior and look down on others... no one wants to be friends with someone like that.

Reply 15

bisous

I'm quite quiet too but I never feel like others look down on me for it. I do think more extroverted people just don't understand quiet people, and why they don't talk a lot of the time, so maybe what you're perceiving as their snobbery, is really just them not knowing how to treat you.

It sucks we get this as quiet people. :p:

I guess I'd advise you to just try and talk more, or else, act more at ease with yourself, cos you sound pretty insecure and insecurity shows.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

I can be quiet naturally in a group. I think I am feeling this way because I stopped talking to one. And I think the looks are given from possible backchatting. I have known these people for years, and these things happen. However, I am just talking about this group. There are others I meet that I feel as though are judging me. Its something I have to learn to come through. I know making assumptions ain't good, but its just that some of the ways that it was projected lead me to make this thread. The things that did put me off could of been nothing, and I may just be misinterpretating things.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

The reason it probably put me off is feeling ganged up on. Alone- inferior being- can I live? ...

Reply 18

Thud

17

beatnik~87

It may work now but it could be of hinderance to you later on in life. This is especially true when you start uni. You may feel they are judging you, but you are doing the same and they may feel you look down on them.

no, some people actually do do the whole looking down on you like you're a piece of crap thing. it's not nice. I agree with this:

Vampyrcorn

I just don't bother talking to people who think they're better than me. I tend to have little respect for them and find they generally come accross like arrogant ***** with badly perceived ideas about life in general.

**** them.

Reply 19

Otarru

the 'inferior' look

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