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Upset
Hi,
I have a problem, which may sound a little silly to you, but I dont really have anyone to talk to about it.
Recently I started a new school, and everything was great and fine. Just recently, I get that awkward feeling when you walk into a room and you feel as though everyone has just been talking about you. And its making me wonder, have I said anything thats out-of-order or out-of-place. I am non-judgemental person, and do not express my opinions about others behind their backs. So I dont think it is a case of ppl thinking I have been talking about them
Without sounding big headed, I am quite an intelligent person....not the cleverest in the world, but I work hard and try to get along with everyone and not be confrontational. Because Im happy in my own skin I tend to be confident in my abilities and know my limitations. I hope this hasnt come across as "big-headedness" or arrogance to others. It something that I dislike myself, theres no need to think you know everything (which one most likely doesnt). Some of the people were going to a gig around February time. And Myself and only another few people werent invited. It doesnt bother me, but it seemed like a blatant snub. It is of course their prerogative who they invite and who they dont. But I feel uncomfortable around them, I dont know what to say... if to say anything at all.
what do you think?
I have a problem, which may sound a little silly to you, but I dont really have anyone to talk to about it.
Recently I started a new school, and everything was great and fine. Just recently, I get that awkward feeling when you walk into a room and you feel as though everyone has just been talking about you. And its making me wonder, have I said anything thats out-of-order or out-of-place. I am non-judgemental person, and do not express my opinions about others behind their backs. So I dont think it is a case of ppl thinking I have been talking about them
Without sounding big headed, I am quite an intelligent person....not the cleverest in the world, but I work hard and try to get along with everyone and not be confrontational. Because Im happy in my own skin I tend to be confident in my abilities and know my limitations. I hope this hasnt come across as "big-headedness" or arrogance to others. It something that I dislike myself, theres no need to think you know everything (which one most likely doesnt). Some of the people were going to a gig around February time. And Myself and only another few people werent invited. It doesnt bother me, but it seemed like a blatant snub. It is of course their prerogative who they invite and who they dont. But I feel uncomfortable around them, I dont know what to say... if to say anything at all.
what do you think?
Reply 1
OMG I HAVE EXCTLY THIS PROBLEM TOO
scary and at beginning of march the group of people didnt invite me either
scary and at beginning of march the group of people didnt invite me eitherReply 2
Im usually a laid back person, but this seems like a blatant snub. And I feel as though I am still on the outside looking in on a group of people, even though I have been at this school since last sept.
I wouldnt mind, but I find it very hurtful to others who feel the same, and if it were the other way around I would never ever do anything to hurt anyone else. The thing is, its hard to describe on here because I really dont want to sound arrogant, but Ill say it anyway. Sometimes people have told me because I am academically able and tend to use words that perhaps others wouldnt, that somehow people feel that they cant talk to me. And the thing is, I dont feel im unapproachable and lots of other people have said that I am. But I am not going to change who I am... i tend to get lots of jealousy, it just gets you down sometimes. And i dont know how best to handle it. I feel as though I am being false by not raising the issue with these people. But I dont want any awkward atmosphere or feeling or cause confrontation by bringing the subject up.
I wouldnt mind, but I find it very hurtful to others who feel the same, and if it were the other way around I would never ever do anything to hurt anyone else. The thing is, its hard to describe on here because I really dont want to sound arrogant, but Ill say it anyway. Sometimes people have told me because I am academically able and tend to use words that perhaps others wouldnt, that somehow people feel that they cant talk to me. And the thing is, I dont feel im unapproachable and lots of other people have said that I am. But I am not going to change who I am... i tend to get lots of jealousy, it just gets you down sometimes. And i dont know how best to handle it. I feel as though I am being false by not raising the issue with these people. But I dont want any awkward atmosphere or feeling or cause confrontation by bringing the subject up.
Reply 3
* sorry typo.
lots of people said that I am approachable, not unapproachable as the previous post implies!
lots of people said that I am approachable, not unapproachable as the previous post implies!
Reply 4
My school life was a complete joke, just because people thought that because I used long words (ie words with more than two syllables) I was belittling them. I wasn't talking about different topics to them - I'd be discussing the latest CDs out or something, and rather than saying 'well good' I'd describe it as 'really enjoyable' or similar. I kid thee not, they saw that as too intelligent for their liking!
Chances are, the other people you talk about are probably deeply insecure, even more so than you, and by being intelligent, articulate and self-assured, you're a HUGE threat to them. It highlights the fact they're lacking in several areas...
In the meantime, rest assured that it's nothing to do with you - you shouldn't have to change for these people. It's THEIR problem if they're too self-obsessed to make an effort with you. Maybe expand the social horizons a bit by going to new groups, meetings, hobbies etc, or take on some volunteer work somewhere. You'll definitely end up meeting more interesting people...
All I can say is sit tight - I had an awful time all through school but now I'm at Uni I've finally found my 'niche' with other people who can sit for at least an hour and discuss a CD/gig/magazine/book without using the phrase 'well good' in a non-ironic way
Chances are, the other people you talk about are probably deeply insecure, even more so than you, and by being intelligent, articulate and self-assured, you're a HUGE threat to them. It highlights the fact they're lacking in several areas...
In the meantime, rest assured that it's nothing to do with you - you shouldn't have to change for these people. It's THEIR problem if they're too self-obsessed to make an effort with you. Maybe expand the social horizons a bit by going to new groups, meetings, hobbies etc, or take on some volunteer work somewhere. You'll definitely end up meeting more interesting people...
All I can say is sit tight - I had an awful time all through school but now I'm at Uni I've finally found my 'niche' with other people who can sit for at least an hour and discuss a CD/gig/magazine/book without using the phrase 'well good' in a non-ironic way
Reply 5
Yeh I had this at 6th form (I changed schools between GCSE and 6th form) and found it really hard as most people had formed their little groups and everyone was a bit cliquey.
I lasted a year and a half of getting snubbed and ignored, some bitch who didn't like me telling everyone that they'd form a vendetta against me, the most hellish week of my life with 6 of these people in the a*se end of wales where they bullied me relentlessly (ignoring me and stuff)... All because on the first day someone called me a nob for saying the word "hypothetically" in class. WHAT THE *******?! It was like after that everything just snowballed.
It was the most hellish time of my life, and crippled me mentally- hated every second and couldn't wait to leave. In the end I had a nervous breakdown and left. I went to a further education/6th form college and met the most amazing mix of people- all coffee shop dwelling, bookwormish clever kids; but with an awesome attitude as well.
The only way I could see out off 6th form hell was to leave...
I lasted a year and a half of getting snubbed and ignored, some bitch who didn't like me telling everyone that they'd form a vendetta against me, the most hellish week of my life with 6 of these people in the a*se end of wales where they bullied me relentlessly (ignoring me and stuff)... All because on the first day someone called me a nob for saying the word "hypothetically" in class. WHAT THE *******?! It was like after that everything just snowballed.
It was the most hellish time of my life, and crippled me mentally- hated every second and couldn't wait to leave. In the end I had a nervous breakdown and left. I went to a further education/6th form college and met the most amazing mix of people- all coffee shop dwelling, bookwormish clever kids; but with an awesome attitude as well.
The only way I could see out off 6th form hell was to leave...
Reply 6
I know... it seems pointless to me. Especially as I would never do anything to hurt anyone else out deliberately.
I mean if they dont like me, thats fine, its their prerogative at they are entitled to their opinion. I would just rather they said it to my face than behind my back. There's not one person in the year who has not made some kind of comment behind another persons back, and in the next second their best friends. I dont work like that,I think its false.....
Anyway, I confronted them about it...in a non-confrontational manner!lol
They said it was difficult to invite everyone and that it was nothing personal.
But that doesnt detract from the fact that its hurtful and uneccesary.
You're probably thinking, just get over it lol. I have, but I am wondering what I have done to cause this? Or maybe its just the fact they dont like us newbies intergrating into their set groups.
Either way im not leaving. My grades have improved greatly at this new school and Im not giving that up. Nor am i going to give into this. Just a little at odds how to deal with the "I could cut the atmosphere witha knife" situation.
I mean if they dont like me, thats fine, its their prerogative at they are entitled to their opinion. I would just rather they said it to my face than behind my back. There's not one person in the year who has not made some kind of comment behind another persons back, and in the next second their best friends. I dont work like that,I think its false.....
Anyway, I confronted them about it...in a non-confrontational manner!lol
They said it was difficult to invite everyone and that it was nothing personal.
But that doesnt detract from the fact that its hurtful and uneccesary.
You're probably thinking, just get over it lol. I have, but I am wondering what I have done to cause this? Or maybe its just the fact they dont like us newbies intergrating into their set groups.
Either way im not leaving. My grades have improved greatly at this new school and Im not giving that up. Nor am i going to give into this. Just a little at odds how to deal with the "I could cut the atmosphere witha knife" situation.
Reply 7
Anonymous
My school life was a complete joke, just because people thought that because I used long words (ie words with more than two syllables) I was belittling them. I wasn't talking about different topics to them - I'd be discussing the latest CDs out or something, and rather than saying 'well good' I'd describe it as 'really enjoyable' or similar. I kid thee not, they saw that as too intelligent for their liking!
Chances are, the other people you talk about are probably deeply insecure, even more so than you, and by being intelligent, articulate and self-assured, you're a HUGE threat to them. It highlights the fact they're lacking in several areas...
In the meantime, rest assured that it's nothing to do with you - you shouldn't have to change for these people. It's THEIR problem if they're too self-obsessed to make an effort with you. Maybe expand the social horizons a bit by going to new groups, meetings, hobbies etc, or take on some volunteer work somewhere. You'll definitely end up meeting more interesting people...
All I can say is sit tight - I had an awful time all through school but now I'm at Uni I've finally found my 'niche' with other people who can sit for at least an hour and discuss a CD/gig/magazine/book without using the phrase 'well good' in a non-ironic way
Chances are, the other people you talk about are probably deeply insecure, even more so than you, and by being intelligent, articulate and self-assured, you're a HUGE threat to them. It highlights the fact they're lacking in several areas...
In the meantime, rest assured that it's nothing to do with you - you shouldn't have to change for these people. It's THEIR problem if they're too self-obsessed to make an effort with you. Maybe expand the social horizons a bit by going to new groups, meetings, hobbies etc, or take on some volunteer work somewhere. You'll definitely end up meeting more interesting people...
All I can say is sit tight - I had an awful time all through school but now I'm at Uni I've finally found my 'niche' with other people who can sit for at least an hour and discuss a CD/gig/magazine/book without using the phrase 'well good' in a non-ironic way
Do you know what you say about yourself if exactly what I do, and you're right! There's nothing wrong with speaking with some kind of articulation. I have high aspirations for myself and maybe I do set my standards to high but Id rather too high, than too low.
Thanks for your reply you have made me feel so much better, I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me for thinking like this...at last someone on the same "wave-length" so to speak!
x
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