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Bisexual - how to find out if she likes me?

Ive never really known my exact sexuality, and although all of my friends presume im straight because they have only ever seen me do anything with guys, ive always known in some way that I have been attracted to women as well. Ive never really had any relations with women, but have definitely been attracted to them in the past. I don't really have a huge issue with my sexuality, i don't lose sleep over it, im fairly happy not labelling myself. Anyway, recently ive been getting to know a girl who is in my class at college. We have known each other for about a year and a half, but only really started being friends recently through a mutual club. Anyway I found out she was gay from one of our mutual friends weeks and weeks ago, and didn't really think any more of it. The next few times I spent time with her though, there was just a small thought in the back of my mind developing...i started having feelings for her. As we have got to know each other better, these have gotten stronger to a point where we were having a conversation today and randomly got onto the topic of sexuality. I don't think she knew that I knew she was gay, but she talked about it anyway which was cool, i felt a bit bad that I had found out about it second hand. I was also honest with her about the fact that I have feelings for both sexes, which was very liberating as its the first time i have ever directly indicated to anyone that i may not be straight. Anyway we had a fantastic day doing loads of stuff including work for the club, playing some football, cooking dinner and then going to the cinema with a few friends. I dropped her off home afterwards and she sat in the car and we kept talking for a few minutes, i had a feeling she wanted to say something, but that may have just been wishful thinking.

Anyway, horrendously long intro to a fairly simple question. I think I would like to possibly take things further with her, but she did only find out today that I am 'bisexual' or whatever. Im just not entirely sure what to do in order to find out whether she likes me too. I considered just asking her directly if she thought if we could ever be more than just friends, but I really really don't want to risk our friendship. Plus theres only tomorrow before we won't see each other for three weeks because of holidays and stuff. Maybe I should just leave it and see what happens when we get back..but then we have exams, and could probably both do without extra stuff on our minds. Any advice muchly appreciated.

Reply 1

Shockley

I think you should let things develop over time. It's clear that you both get on well, and now that she knows that you are bisexual, something may happen but you both need to get to know each other better and become more confident discussing your sexuality. I really hope it works out well. Good luck!

Reply 2

monkeymayhem

Just tell that you like her, if she rejects you try not to let rejection get in the way of your friendship.

Reply 3

brown

I dropped her off home afterwards and she sat in the car and we kept talking for a few minutes, i had a feeling she wanted to say something, but that may have just been wishful thinking.

It may not have been wishful thinking. Your intuitions may be right. Try to suss out if she likes you the next time you talk to her. Look at her eye movements etc. any sign that she may be checking you out/nervous around you. Or, as monkeymayhem said, just tell her how you feel.

Reply 4

K.T.

Anonymous

Plus theres only tomorrow before we won't see each other for three weeks because of holidays and stuff. Maybe I should just leave it and see what happens when we get back..but then we have exams, and could probably both do without extra stuff on our minds. Any advice muchly appreciated.

Couldn't you arrange to meet up in the holidays at all?
If you're both single & you like her, I would always reccommend going for it - I get that you don't need 'extra stuff on your mind' right now (exams are evil :mad:

) but it's already on your mind anyway, so why not give it a try?
Good luck :biggrin:

Reply 5

King Hippo

You need to tell her.

This might sound dodgy, but it's not meant that way: I can only imagine that as a lesbian it must be hard for her to get a partner, since obviously the vast majority of people she fancies won't be interested since they'll be straight.

The fact that she gets along with you and you're attracted to her could be a godsend for her.

Reply 6

Eternity Forever

Give each other some space and wait after she gets back from holidays, it's all happening too fast. :dontknow:

Reply 7

Thud

let it develop slowly. sounds like your good friends and if you make a move but she doesn't feel the same way then it could ruin your friendship.

maybe drop a few hints, but keep them subtle and see what develops.

Reply 8

sssh

I think you should leave it until after the holidays, you don't want it to look like some kind of brief thing. Also, be careful, it could just be the novelty; there's no need to fall for the first lesbian you meet. But it's good that you're feeling more comfortable and have been able to be open with someone :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Mmm thanks for all of the advice everyone. We were out all day yesterday doing various things with our friends and it was really cool. I was subconciously flirting a bit, but then again im a naturally flirtatious person and not just with her. I think she likes me too, but im still not sure. Anyway, we had a good day yesterday, just hugged to say goodbye, nothing happened, and im happy with it that way. Will be nice to have a bit of a time to reflect on my thoughts and feelings as it has been a super fast few weeks. Thanks again for the advice.

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