I'm ugly

As the title suggests I am one ugly bastard. At uni I have "pulled" a couple of times and had sex once but this means nothing really. All were under the influence and with "easy" girls. The problem is I am sick of my peers judging me as ugly. I know I'm not particularly good looking, but what bothers me the most is how most people pick up on it. For example, this evening I was talking about how comfortable straight males are when commenting on other males. I said I have no problem with appreciating that someone is good looking but I have a problem with people putting down those who aren't. This lead to the question, "is that because you are insecure about how you look?" Which I answered with "No. I'm not insecure. More, disappointed." As a way of joking about the issue and trying to put a brave face on it all. But I guess this thread shows I am insecure about how I look. Another example is half way through the first term I found out that two of the girls on the above floor judged me to be the ugliest in the flat. Now that really hurt, but again I but a brave face on it to protect my image as this tough guy who doesn't care. I know for definite that I am not the ugliest in my flat but to think that people said that, really hurts. There are people in my flat that are definitely worse looking than I am, but I have never known this to be picked up on, and I am glad. I wouldn't like to think that people feel the way I do about their looks and I always try to build people's confidence rather than destroy it. I think the problem I have, is I am a fairly confident person, well, I appear to be, and I am not good looking enough to justify this. All this leads to is me not caring about my appearance at all as I come to accept that whatever I do, I will always be ugly. So, I don't make an effort with my hair or by clothes that suit me. There isn't really a question in all this, I just felt like talking about it. Please respond if you have anything to say.

Reply 1

Nix!

11

Make an effort for a change?

Reply 2

pharmgirl

12

Trust me mate, there's no such thing as ugly. What one person thinks is fit is ugly to someone else. And those girls upstairs are idiots.

Reply 3

ßlαcksωαn

17

Firstly what those girls did is just what girls do. Me and my mates have done that kinda of thing on many occasions (not to their face ofcourse) but we don't really mean anything by it, more out of boredom really. So you shouldn't stress over that too much.
Secondly life shouldn't be about who is the ugliest person and whos the sexiest person. You judging yourself is just as bad as other judging you. Don't listen to what other people say.

Reply 4

matt@internet

12

blackswan

Firstly what those girls did is just what girls do. Me and my mates have done that kinda of thing on many occasions (not to their face ofcourse) but we don't really mean anything by it, more out of boredom really. So you shouldn't stress over that too much.
Secondly life shouldn't be about who is the ugliest person and whos the sexiest person. You judging yourself is just as bad as other judging you. Don't listen to what other people say.

Exactly, you're as bad as them lol. In all seriousness, I agree. Just don't listen. And it's good that you try to build up peoples confidense rather than destroy it. You sound like an nice bloke, you just need to do what Nix! said and make an effort.
Look at my profile pic. Ok it's not the best example as I can look better, but believe me, I look worse than that if I don't do my hair (gel or wax) and if I wear my glasses. Ignore the eyebrow piercing, as I've taken it out.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I know how you feel, I posted a thread here about a month ago because I'd been ranked as ugly by my own so-called friends. It does make you feel like crap, and I'm a girl which makes it worse but some of the responses I got were really useful and I've since decided that other than making the best of your appearance it helps to look at the whole picture-people who get to know you don't judge your worth as a person only on how you look, so if you have enough other things to offer eg. wicked sene of humour, fun to be around then you can make these things stand out enough to overcome your appearance in terms of what sums you up. Good luck x

Reply 6

L i b

19

Anonymous

As the title suggests I am one ugly bastard. At uni I have "pulled" a couple of times and had sex once but this means nothing really. All were under the influence and with "easy" girls. The problem is I am sick of my peers judging me as ugly. I know I'm not particularly good looking, but what bothers me the most is how most people pick up on it. For example, this evening I was talking about how comfortable straight males are when commenting on other males. I said I have no problem with appreciating that someone is good looking but I have a problem with people putting down those who aren't. This lead to the question, "is that because you are insecure about how you look?" Which I answered with "No. I'm not insecure. More, disappointed." As a way of joking about the issue and trying to put a brave face on it all. But I guess this thread shows I am insecure about how I look. Another example is half way through the first term I found out that two of the girls on the above floor judged me to be the ugliest in the flat. Now that really hurt, but again I but a brave face on it to protect my image as this tough guy who doesn't care. I know for definite that I am not the ugliest in my flat but to think that people said that, really hurts. There are people in my flat that are definitely worse looking than I am, but I have never known this to be picked up on, and I am glad. I wouldn't like to think that people feel the way I do about their looks and I always try to build people's confidence rather than destroy it. I think the problem I have, is I am a fairly confident person, well, I appear to be, and I am not good looking enough to justify this. All this leads to is me not caring about my appearance at all as I come to accept that whatever I do, I will always be ugly. So, I don't make an effort with my hair or by clothes that suit me. There isn't really a question in all this, I just felt like talking about it. Please respond if you have anything to say.

90% of male attractiveness is in terms of personality, confidence, being well dressed and being well-built. All of these things can be easily worked upon.

Reply 7

Stubo

Lib North

90% of male attractiveness is in terms of personality, confidence, being well dressed and being well-built. All of these things can be easily worked upon.

Not as much as that. Having a big ugly face and being unlucky to have natural rubbish hair (too thick or very quick receeding line/greyness at 21) hair means you are quite screwed.

Reply 8

L i b

19

Stubo

Not as much as that. Having a big ugly face and being ****ted on with a natural **** hair means you are quite screwed.

Yeah... too censored for me to really get the gist of that.

Reply 9

Stubo

Ok, I will make it very clear. Even if you have the best body+personality, if your face looks like jade goody/any other random ugly face, you are still screwed.

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

There are times when I seriously feel like you, but I've come to realise that shallowness/image-obsessed society can be society's problem - I'm going to have a good time and be happy anyway.

I mean, what does being ugly actually stop you from doing? I'm sure you have friends, you said you've had relationships, you can still eat anywhere, go to any club, get any job.

There are disadvantages - there's more pressure to have a decent personality, you might not get the prettiest girl (but looks are overrated anyway!) and the mirror's never going to be kind, but there are actually upsides.

All the shallow, vain people are automatically filtered from your friends and relationships (this is an important one - my pretty friends never know if they're being used for their looks, whereas I know I'm liked despite my looks), and, it sounds harsh, but there isn't that same pressure to look good/okay all the time, because people just know you're ugly.

Also, if you have a good personality, people will be surprised, and find you even more charming. The first impression of attractive people is witty and cool, but if they don't live up to it (fairly often) we're disappointed. The default setting for me is "ew" or "bleurgh", so I see the surprise when people realise I'm funny, talkative and sociable.

The biggest mistake you can make is letting "ugly" run your life. No-one calls themselves ugly without reason, I know this myself, but it's begins and ends with the way you look.

Reply 11

Bubblebee

15

Am I the only one who wants to see pictorial evidence?

Don't worry about it, you've said it yourself you don't make an effort...when I don't make an effort I know I look rubbish but I like it, cause then when I go out or make myself look nice I get alot more compliments.

Reply 12

Hashem

believe me a guy can change in every single way
u can go bald grow a goatee
or go with long hair w/gel and grow a beard
or grow a beard and bald head
3 different looks at the top of my head things do change

Reply 13

shewantstobeme

10

Good clothes and stylish hair do make a difference:

to...

Reply 14

Jim-ie

14

Anonymous

As the title suggests I am one ugly bastard. At uni I have "pulled" a couple of times and had sex once but this means nothing really. All were under the influence and with "easy" girls. The problem is I am sick of my peers judging me as ugly. I know I'm not particularly good looking, but what bothers me the most is how most people pick up on it. For example, this evening I was talking about how comfortable straight males are when commenting on other males. I said I have no problem with appreciating that someone is good looking but I have a problem with people putting down those who aren't. This lead to the question, "is that because you are insecure about how you look?" Which I answered with "No. I'm not insecure. More, disappointed." As a way of joking about the issue and trying to put a brave face on it all. But I guess this thread shows I am insecure about how I look. Another example is half way through the first term I found out that two of the girls on the above floor judged me to be the ugliest in the flat. Now that really hurt, but again I but a brave face on it to protect my image as this tough guy who doesn't care. I know for definite that I am not the ugliest in my flat but to think that people said that, really hurts. There are people in my flat that are definitely worse looking than I am, but I have never known this to be picked up on, and I am glad. I wouldn't like to think that people feel the way I do about their looks and I always try to build people's confidence rather than destroy it. I think the problem I have, is I am a fairly confident person, well, I appear to be, and I am not good looking enough to justify this. All this leads to is me not caring about my appearance at all as I come to accept that whatever I do, I will always be ugly. So, I don't make an effort with my hair or by clothes that suit me. There isn't really a question in all this, I just felt like talking about it. Please respond if you have anything to say.

I think you're blowing it out of proportion when you were asked that question.

I'm not going to bull**** you, you could be ugly for all we know and without a picture I can't say otherwise. What I will say is its what you do with yourself that helps you look better because it depends on who is judging you. You could be grim to one person, not bad to another and attractive to another, everyone gets this, even people who would consider themselves attractive.

Change how you look by changing what you can change (hair, facial hair, acne, teeth colour, clothes, body shape) and live with the rest, you'll be suprised at the changes.

Reply 15

TheShrimp

5

Apparently hair is worth 90% of whether you're good-looking or not (according to my friend...) so definitely don't neglect your hair OR your clothes. Of course, this is simply physical attractiveness, but I'm always attracted to funny guys with a great personality, even if they aren't the prettiest boy around.

Reply 16

Ariadne

16

Rather than putting up a tough 'I don't care' front, try actually changing things. Get a haircut, buy clothes to suit you, wash every day, get your teeth whitened if necessary (v imp. - there's an amazing looking guy in the room down from me but his teeth are so yellow I wouldn't touch him with a bargepole). Seriously, changing small things about yourself will make a huge difference. If you have acne, go to your doctor and get some cream/tablet prescribed. If you have a friend that you can really trust, ask their advice and get them to go shopping with you or recommend better hygiene or something.

Its quite difficult to know what to say without knowing why you think you're ugly, but if you make an effort, you'll also feel better about yourself, rather than wallowing in 'I'm-ugly-and-there's-nothing-I'm-going-to-do-about-it' misery. And as for the confidence factor, looks shouldn't have anything to do with it. You should be confident in yourself as a character, not as some brain-dead, bitchy but beautiful model.

Reply 17

loz_fairy

8

hey, don't know if it'll be any use but, here's my 2 cents:

I find Geoffrey Rush, Frankie Boyle, Dave King, Mike Mills (and many more) attractive. Now, none of the above are lookers, and I don't know them personally so I can't really judge on personality. To the girls upstairs you may be ugly, but to someone else you may be great, so don't worry about it, I don't :smile:

Reply 18

Melissa85

save up, get plastic surgery. no one has to be ugly anymore